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View Full Version : Things You NEVER Want to Hear About Food!



BenPanced
05-15-2008, 09:04 AM
Yeah, I guess I'm the Unhappy Homemaker, bringing up yet another negative thread about food!

"Peter, if you're having dinner, don't look for the potato salad in the fridge. I had to throw it out. THE POTATO SALAD WAS FIZZY."

No. That wasn't a typo. The potato salad I threw out tonight was fizzy. I could feel the carbonation on my tongue!

Mandy-Jane
05-15-2008, 10:13 AM
I threw out some pancakes with little green spots on them this morning. But not before I'd packaged them up in my daughter's lunchbox. Thank goodness I looked at them before I sent her off with them!

L M Ashton
05-15-2008, 03:58 PM
Fizzy potato salad? Ew!!!!!!!!!

alleycat
05-15-2008, 04:00 PM
My "adopted daughter" once asked if the green stuff on the cheddar cheese meant it was bad. Or was it bread? I can't remember. Either way, it's not good.

C.bronco
05-15-2008, 04:00 PM
Did you hallucinate afterwards?

Perks
05-15-2008, 04:25 PM
Things You NEVER Want to Hear About Food!
That it's still moving.

Perks
05-15-2008, 04:31 PM
I worked in a deli a long time ago and I was rotating out some packaged sandwiches. I can across one that had gotten shoved to the back and was out of date by a good bit. I said, "Wow. This chicken salad is so old, it used to be egg salad."

Nobody got it. I was all alone.

alleycat
05-15-2008, 04:32 PM
I worked in a deli a long time ago and I was rotating out some packaged sandwiches. I can across one that had gotten shoved to the back and was out of date by a good bit. I said, "Wow. This chicken salad is so old, it used to be egg salad."

Nobody got it. I was all alone.
You worked with some bright folks, did you?

Perks
05-15-2008, 04:33 PM
It was early. No one had their coffee yet.

Maryn
05-15-2008, 04:34 PM
The store we used to shop at in Austin had this one package of liverwurst which had gone first green, then grey, then fully black inside its sealed package. We shopped together back then, and looking to see if it was still there, in the very back, was one of the high points of buying groceries. Its sell-by date was more than two years past when they finally pulled it from the shelf.

Maryn, who never sees that at Wegmans

alleycat
05-15-2008, 04:45 PM
It was early. No one had their coffee yet.
Oh. Well, that can explain anything.

I sometimes post on forums at 5:00 in the morning . . . just to see how many typos I can make with one eye closed.

icerose
05-15-2008, 07:30 PM
Worst food experience ever. Someone sent me a rice dish as part of a meal because I was bedridden and about 2 weeks from delivering my third child. The rice was crawling with maggots. I don't think I left the bathroom that day.

czjaba
05-15-2008, 07:40 PM
Worst food experience ever. Someone sent me a rice dish as part of a meal because I was bedridden and about 2 weeks from delivering my third child. The rice was crawling with maggots. I don't think I left the bathroom that day.

First, I was appalled when I read this. What kind of sick bastid could knowingly do that and to a pregnant lady???

The key word here is 'knowlingly.'

This I had a mental picture. I was cleaning my fridge, mostly white bowls with red lids filled with green gunk. And one bowl, set aside, that was for supper was supposed to be a green bean casserole from last night's dinner. Let's then suppose the bowls got mixed up.

icerose
05-15-2008, 07:41 PM
The lady was about a day younger than dirt (seriously she was over 90 years old) and couldn't see more than three inches in front of her.

So I didn't hold it against her. It still makes me ill.

Calla Lily
05-15-2008, 07:44 PM
One Christmas my mom bought handmade linguini for the big family dinner (rather than plain old boxed) as a treat. We opened the packages and about 1/4 of is was covered with furry green and white mold.

We picked out the bad stuff and boiled the good stuff. No one got sick, so we got it all, but I simply couldn't put it in my mouth. Merry Christmas!

BenPanced
05-15-2008, 09:06 PM
Fizzy potato salad? Ew!!!!!!!!!
Yeah, it's like "Celery's not supposed to do that, is it?!"

Thump
05-15-2008, 09:21 PM
Heh, back when I lived in India, we had a huge house, basement, ground level and three extra floors but we only really used one and the top floor was for the maids. The second floor was used as storage and guest rooms. One day I went there to see if I could find a book and saw an old backpack of mine from when I was maybe 9 years old. I opened it up to see what was in there and like an idiot I stuck in my hand first.
I felt this squishy, gooey thing. I pull out my hand and there's this almost disintegrated old orange in my hand! Ewwwwww! Green and grey and leaking all over the place. I have no idea how long it was in there and we didn't cool that floor in summer so it must have boiled quite a few times while we were in India!

HeronW
05-15-2008, 09:27 PM
Remember the yogurt called Light & Lively? Found a container of that like, oh, several months after the cow who actually gave the milk died of old age. The yogurt wasn't light anymore, but it was very lively!

dobiwon
05-15-2008, 09:34 PM
Things you never want to hear about food: Eat it quick, before it eats you.

ChaosTitan
05-15-2008, 09:50 PM
"What WAS that?"


When I buy vegetables, I tend to use them right away for dishes, or leave them out in the fridge where I can see them. One side of the crisper is for beer storage. The other for the occasional left over veggie. Well, one day a few years ago, I opened up the fridge and noticed an odd smell. I pulled the crisper drawer (not the beer one, the other one). Inside was one of those clear bags from the grocery store that you put your veggies in.

Inside the bag was black, green, and yellow goo. And liquid. It looked like squishy watercolor art, with small chunks. It had sprung a leak, hence the smell. To this day, I don't know what it started out as (but I suspect it was a zucchini).

Bartholomew
05-15-2008, 10:18 PM
This just proves that you really can't substitute sugar for diet coke.

Sarpedon
05-16-2008, 01:04 AM
I felt this squishy, gooey thing. I pull out my hand and there's this almost disintegrated old orange in my hand!

that reminds me, I have a couple of oranges in my fridge I need to finish off.

One day when I was unemployed and living in a house with some guys, I decided to make myself useful and deal with a pile of dirty dishes that was next to the sink. I cleaned them all, but at the bottom I found a tupperware container. In it was something that was once some kind of meat. I just took the whole thing outside and threw it away.

Then there was the time that one of my housemates left some (cooked) rice out. And again, I was cleaning the kitchen (note; I am not a particularly clean sort of person) and asked him if he wanted me to throw it out. He said he was going to use it for something. So I left it. A few weeks later, it was still there. So I tossed it.

This guy is the same guy who;

saved drippings from a rabbit he was cooking to make candles.
Actually hid dirty dishes OUTSIDE rather than clean them.
Saved meat broth ON THE STOVETOP to make soup...WEEKS LATER (my other housemate came home and was asked by him 'what are the symptoms of botulism?')
Cut his hair so that the back of his head matched the front...complete with beard, moustache, and eyebrows.

He now has his PhD in theoretical physics, and is working at CERN. I can only imagine the horror of the French-Swiss.

sassandgroove
05-16-2008, 01:12 AM
Taste this, is it bad?

Kitrianna
05-16-2008, 01:28 AM
One day while my mom was out, my older brother went into the fridge and decided to have a big piece of cake. I guess it was white or golden colored with litte blue-ish spots on it. When she got home he said "Mom that blueberry cake in the fridge is really good!" My mom's response "That isn't blueberry cake, it's moldy." That'll learn him for dipping into the sweets without asking, but on a positive note...he didn't get a cold for over a year afterwards!

sassandgroove
05-16-2008, 01:51 AM
which begs the question, if she knew it was moldy why hadn't she thrown it away?

Kitrianna
05-16-2008, 02:01 AM
Don't ask me. I was just a wee one at that point

czjaba
05-16-2008, 02:03 AM
At my house, food only gets thrown away on Monday nights. The trash truck comes Tuesday mornings. If we forget on Monday night, it has to wait until the next Monday night. We'd rather have it grow in the fridge than in the trash can where the neighborhood cats will get into it and strow it across the whole yard.

Just sayin'

Kitrianna
05-16-2008, 02:09 AM
For us it was Sunday night and I think that this happened on like a Friday, but I know that she wasn't trying to make anyone sick. My mom's a nurse!

brokenfingers
05-16-2008, 02:22 AM
"Is that a finger?!?!"

CACTUSWENDY
05-16-2008, 02:42 AM
Here. Smell this. Is it bad?

What's this slimy stuff on the steak? Will it cook off?

I think I see tiny little bugs in the pasta/flour/sugar/etc. Want me to cook it anyway?

If it's been in the freezer too long and has freezer burn ....so what? It's still good. Right?

Dommo
05-16-2008, 04:10 AM
I just found half a worm in my apple.

Sarpedon
05-16-2008, 11:15 PM
half a worm never hurt anyone.

sassandgroove
05-17-2008, 12:31 AM
ewww.

CDarklock
05-17-2008, 05:02 AM
"...and that's how sausage is made."

CDarklock
05-17-2008, 05:06 AM
if she knew it was moldy why hadn't she thrown it away?

I know the answer to that!

See, when you throw something away, it moves from the airtight sealed refrigerated container it's in... to the open room-temperature trash can. It won't be too long before it starts to spread horrific odors all over the house.

So if the trash isn't ready to be emptied yet, or indeed you've just changed it, you leave the old nasty stuff in the refrigerator. That way, the next time you change the trash, the little alarm in your head says "throw out the moldy cake" and you do. Then it goes out of the fridge, into the trash, and OUTSIDE.

See? Makes perfect sense.

GeorgeK
05-17-2008, 08:01 AM
I knew a Plastic Surgeon who one April 1st, cut a little piece out of a hot dog and sent it to the pathologist as a surgical biopsy. The pathologist never realized it was a joke and went ahead and processed the specimen. When he got the report back he vowed to never eat another hot dog again.

misslissy
05-17-2008, 08:38 AM
"...and that's how sausage is made."

I work at a pizza place and we hand-patty our sausages. There are people who will not eat our sausage pizza after they make pizzas with it on. It is so nasty before it gets cooked and you really don't want to know how it is made.

sassandgroove
05-17-2008, 08:55 PM
I know the answer to that!

See, when you throw something away, it moves from the airtight sealed refrigerated container it's in... to the open room-temperature trash can. It won't be too long before it starts to spread horrific odors all over the house.

So if the trash isn't ready to be emptied yet, or indeed you've just changed it, you leave the old nasty stuff in the refrigerator. That way, the next time you change the trash, the little alarm in your head says "throw out the moldy cake" and you do. Then it goes out of the fridge, into the trash, and OUTSIDE.

See? Makes perfect sense.Yes, that is true. I try doing that, throwing stuff out tuesday night, since wednesday is trash day, but my alarm must be broken. SO what I do is throw stuff out when the inside trash can is full, so it at least gets whisked out of the house into the big outdoor trash can.

Yeshanu
05-18-2008, 02:39 AM
When I was much smaller, my brother interrupted my dad several times as he was making potato salad.

"Dad!"

"Quiet! I'm making the salad."

"Dad!"

"I said be quiet!"

"Dad! You just put bleach in the potato salad!"



Um, yeah. Folks, keep your bleach and your vinegar on separate shelves, y'all hear?