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Am I Out Of Tense?

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Quentin Nokov

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Okay so I'm pretty sure I'm talking in the present but the part I highlighted in green I'm not sure if this is appropriate or acceptable. I'm not sure if I'm going out of tense. Basically, I want to know if this sentence works the way it is or should I change it?

. . . . . . . .

He’s given me my own room and it’s not in the basement. It’s not drafty or cold. I have a warm bed and he even let me play with the remote last night. He’s done so much to make me happy. I know he’d be happy and content if he knew I was alright; that I was healthy. I’ll go for him. I’ll do what he wants so that I can give him some sort of happiness in return.
 

IceCreamEmpress

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You're using the conditional voice for a hypothetical, which is appropriate.
 

Mr Sci Fi

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It looks perfectly fine to me.

And this little blurb is very well-written and interesting. Please post more.
 

Quentin Nokov

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Okay, thank you very much. It was just bothering me because I wasn't sure. It looked fine to me but I'm not experienced in writing or good at Grammar so I wasn't sure if this was breaking a rule. Thank you, Ice Cream Empress and Mr Sci Fi :)
 

maestrowork

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Okay so I'm pretty sure I'm talking in the present but the part I highlighted in green I'm not sure if this is appropriate or acceptable. I'm not sure if I'm going out of tense. Basically, I want to know if this sentence works the way it is or should I change it?

. . . . . . . .

He’s given me my own room and it’s not in the basement. It’s not drafty or cold. I have a warm bed and he even let me play with the remote last night. He’s done so much to make me happy. I know he’d be happy and content if he knew I was alright; that I was healthy. I’ll go for him. I’ll do what he wants so that I can give him some sort of happiness in return.


Looks fine. It's subjunctive.

But it's "he even lets me play."
 

maestrowork

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Oops, I didn't see the "last night." In that case, the sentence has mixed tenses which can be confusing. How about:

I have a warm bed. Last night he even let me play with the remote.
 

Phaeal

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I know he’d be happy and content if he knew I was alright; that I was healthy.

You could also write:

I know he'll be happy and content if he knows I'm all right; that I'm healthy.

The sequence of tenses in a sentences with a conditional clause is what's important.

If I am healthy, he will be happy.
If I was healthy, he would be happy.
If I had been healthy, he would have been happy.
 

maestrowork

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You could also write:

I know he'll be happy and content if he knows I'm all right; that I'm healthy.

The sequence of tenses in a sentences with a conditional clause is what's important.

If I am healthy, he will be happy.
If I was healthy, he would be happy.
If I had been healthy, he would have been happy.

It depends on the intent. Is she healthy? If she is, then the first one is fine but still, why "if"? A better way to say that would be "he will be happy to know I'm healthy."

Using "if" means uncertainty or contrary to fact, thus the subjunctive mood. The last two sentences deal with the subtle differences in circumstances:

If I were healthy, he would be happy:
- but I am not healthy. I'm also projecting a wish...

If I had been healthy, he would have been happy:
- I was not healthy, and I'm also talking about a past event. He was not happy because I was unhealthy. But if I had been healthy, it would have been a different thing; he would have been happy.


I know, subjunctive mood is crazy.
 

Constantine K

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Instead of making a new thread, I'll post my question here since it seems relevant:

A writer friend asked if exposition had to remain in the same tense as the rest of the novel. I didn't know what he meant so she gave me this blurb.

Brian stood in the doorway, his lips slightly parted. Already Tom could see his chest rising faster than before. He's caught, and he knows it.

I honestly don't know how to answer that. It looks fine to me, but her novel is past tense and "He's caught, and he knows it" is present. Anyone? I only write in past so I don't know what's acceptable otherwise.
 

Constantine K

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That's what I was thinking. She argued that since he's not really caught (physically), it's exposition. And exposition is free from tense.

News to me.
 
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