10 Worst Ways To Behave At Concerts

4. Yelling "PLAY FREE BIRD" at any point in any concert EVER.

11. Being at a Yanni concert.

#1. Drunk and drunker!

Two things:

-Enthusiasm is great. Screaming like someone is stabbing you is not.

-Starting or participating in a clapping back-beat to a song that shouldn't have one is grounds for a beating.

11. Assuming that because we're here to see the same band I want to hear everything that happened every other time you've seen them in the past.

Spitting, vomiting, or emitting any sort of bodily fluid onto the floor by my feet so I have to watch that I don't step in it for the entire show.

*takes notes*

I've never been to a concert.

Cranky said:

*takes notes*

I've never been to a concert.

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I only go to concerts if it's a very small venue or if I have box seats for just the reasons listed in the article. Moshing seemed like such a good idea twenty years ago.

*streaks through thread with pants on head*

I feel pretty, oh so pretty! I feel pretty, and witty and briiiiiiiiiight!

Sounds like I ain't missing much, I guess.


Would this be a bad thing to do?

*rips off tu-tu and streaks through thread, giggling and waving arms*

Try to start a mosh pit as classical concert. Been there, done that, got kicked the hell out.

Yelling requests for ANY song repeatedly. Once when I saw REM, this knob kept yelling, "Shiny happy people! SHINY HAPPY PEOPLE, man!"

Michael Stipe finally stopped playing and said: "I'm not a fucking jukebox."

Tink said:

#1. Drunk and drunker!

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Isn't that why we go?

RLB said:

Spitting, vomiting, or emitting any sort of bodily fluid onto the floor by my feet so I have to watch that I don't step in it for the entire show.

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I went to a Pink Floyd concert once, at Wembly stadium. Great unil someone didn't quite make it to the loo before they spewed all over the inside of my jacket.

I was not pleased.

Hey!

No one's saying you have to stand there like a wax statue with your arms folded, intently concentrating on every lyric and chord.

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Who's been following me to concerts?!

soleary said:

4. Yelling "PLAY FREE BIRD" at any point in any concert EVER.

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LOL. We have a piano bar around here and about 3 years ago, I was there with my *very* drunk friend Ryan, who kept shouting to the jazz pianist, "Free bird! FREEEEEEE BIIIIIRRD" Followed by, "Who's drunk and has two thumbs? *dramatic pause* This guy!" Oy! Later, I found him asleep against the tire of his jeep. Yep.

1. Recording the show or incessantly taking photos with your cell phone.

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Okay, it's not the same, but I just enjoyed bits and pieces of a very good concert via cell phone. Right. The sound quality wasn't like being there, but it wasn't bad and it made me wish I was there!

Standing there virtually motionless and giving dirty looks to the guy next to you because he's cheering, laughing, having a good time, and -- HORROR OF HORRORS!! -- clapping in time with the music.

Srsly. This happened when I went to see the Go-Go's during their 2001 reunion tour. It's a freaking concert, people! The musicians like it when you show some sort of appreciation for their work! "No, I guess I'll just stand here and listen quietly. I can have fun just standing in place, without going 'woo' at the end of every song like this jerk --> next to me or clapping in time with the songs."

Or the time I went to see Bette Midler. You do not sit quietly for a Bette Midler show. Except for the slow songs. During intermission, the woman behind tapped me on the shoulder and said she was having just as much fun watching the show as she was watching my reaction. She was there with a friend who was going through a bout of chemo, and they both liked being surrounded by the good vibes. And then the woman sitting next to me piped up I was yelling too loud. So during the second act I kept yelling, except I cupped my hands around my mouth.

Clap on the offbeat.

- Eat chili and beans beforehand and then fart incessantly during the concert

- Making out and groping each other is not appropriate! Unless you're two women...

- Yelling lyrics into my ear will get a fist in your face

(secondary rules)

How NOT to get back stage...
Wear conservative clothing (if under 25)
Wear slutty clothing (if over 40)
Ask your friend who works for the parking garage next to the concert hall or the concession stand, or...
Ask a roadie you just met and thinks you're cute to get you backstage
A friend of a friend of a friend...
Your mother's boss as a reference
Offer the crew pot/cocaine/etc. Unless it's a Metallica concert, then definitely coke...Ooops, forgot they're clean now.
Offer the crew for a Prince concert a genuine all beef hamburger (actually that MIGHT work...)
Say "I'm with the band" (you're not. stop trying...)
Wear your smelly, ancient Motorhead concert tee, arrive so drunk you can't stand, yell "Free Bird" through the whole show, bug the lighting director with stupid questions, and ask "So dude...can I meet the band?"
Be a male at a Motley Crue or Kiss concert (or David Lee Roth or Kid Rock or...)
Be a female at a Rod Stewart Concert...just kidding
Enter through General Admission gates
Bring brown M&M's for Mariah Carey
Offer Celine Dion generic bottled water
Bring a Hamburger for Prince
...

Amy

Leg warmers are so 80s, ladies. Unless you're going to a Hall & Oates concert.

Never understand these guys who throw things at the band.

I've been to a couple of outdoor "events" (they're really not concerts) and the bands -- even the good ones! -- had to duck flying objects throughout every set.

Saw a bass player point at a guy once and say, "You. Yeah, you. Yeah, you, dude, right there in the red T-shirt. I saw you throw that. Meet me out back after the show. We'll be by the tour bus." After every song, the guy would pause, point at Red T-shirt, and remind him of this invitation.

Do punks wanting to show their appreciation still spit at band members? Lord, that was a disgusting trend.

#1 Bottling the lead singer of the band. I saw it happen to the singer from Panic at the Disco in a video.