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View Full Version : The Would-be Critiquer's No-response Template



Pat~
05-12-2008, 07:32 PM
Okay...20 views in the crit thread...no response yet...what can that mean?...my imagination can't resist supplying the answers...

In the spirit of fun, this template is for all those who 'view' without response in the critique threads...simply cut and paste from the options below. (And please, feel free to add to this list as inspired.) ;)

I read this but didn't critique because:

1. (Idolizer)- This piece of writing is so terribly perfect no comment is needed.

2. (Critic) - This piece of writing is so perfectly terrible no comment could help.

3. (Overwhelmed) - This piece of writing is but a drop in the ocean of mundanity encroaching upon the tiny island of my existence and I really can't be bothered.

4. (Hearts & Flowers) - I love AW, I love writing, I love writers, I love critiquing, and I want to love this...but I don't 'get' it...

5. (Terminal Lurker) - I'm shy.

Seaclusion
05-12-2008, 07:35 PM
Okay...20 views in the crit thread...no response yet...what can that mean?...my imagination can't resist supplying the answers...

In the spirit of fun, this template is for all those who 'view' without response in the critique threads...simply cut and paste from the options below. (And please, feel free to add to this list as inspired.) ;)

I read this but didn't critique because:

1. (Idolizer)- This piece of writing is so terribly perfect no comment is needed.

2. (Critic) - This piece of writing is so perfectly terrible no comment could help.

3. (Overwhelmed) - This piece of writing is but a drop in the ocean of mundanity encroaching upon the tiny island of my existence and I really can't be bothered.

4. (Hearts & Flowers) - I love AW, I love writing, I love writers, I love critiquing, and I want to love this...but I don't 'get' it...

5. (Terminal Lurker) - I'm shy.

I give this a #1 with a little of #5 thrown in.

Richard

Pat~
05-12-2008, 07:53 PM
:rolleyes:

James81
05-12-2008, 08:45 PM
Which thread do you speak of?

Maryn
05-13-2008, 12:13 AM
6. (Grouch) I'm sick and tired of spending hours correcting basic writing mechanics, then teaching people what they should have learned by the age of twelve, encouraging them to try again because the concept is interesting, and getting back only "Thanks, I guess."
7. (Self-Absorbed) I'm only capable of showing you how your work would have appeared if I'd written it instead of you.

Maryn, who's been #6 several times

Pat~
05-13-2008, 01:03 AM
Lol, thanks, Maryn...I love your additions (and have been both of those, myself, too many times!).

James, I'd be reluctant to post the thread, in that I've gotten rusty...and I think what the poor thing most needs is a speedy burial. :D

III
05-13-2008, 01:15 AM
8. (Impulsive clicker) - The thread title looked interesting but when I saw that the actual piece was several paragraphs long I quickly lost interest and left.

JJ Cooper
05-13-2008, 01:54 AM
9. (not my cup of tea after all) It's written in a different POV than my WIP and I don't want to be screwing around with my mind even more.

10. (I can't do it again) Have to explain why starting a story with a dream isn't the best idea.

11. (Thread title failed to warn) That the story contained a prologue.

JJ

TheIT
05-13-2008, 01:56 AM
12. (Deliberator) Thinking about what to say before actually posting a response.

alleycat
05-13-2008, 01:59 AM
13. (Please, no more) The story contains vampires.

Williebee
05-13-2008, 02:00 AM
14. I want to wait and see what somebody else says before I agree with them. 'Cuz if I say it first somebody may jump on me.

15. You've got one of those freakin' kitty avatars! :)

Note the smiley face....please?

SPMiller
05-13-2008, 03:09 AM
16. (Hesitant) Not sure how to express why the story doesn't work for me.

Often I'm in the mode of Maryn's #7, so I switch to my #16 and say nothing until I can write a proper crit.

Regarding alleycat's #13, I don't think I've seen even one vampire story in sf/f SYW since joining AW. Where are they? Horror?

AnnieColleen
05-13-2008, 03:10 AM
16. I'm reading from work and ran out of minutes on my lunch hour, then lost the thread...

astonwest
05-13-2008, 03:18 AM
17. (Goal-setter) I entered the thread, since there was no mention of the genre or word count, then realized it was around 4000 words and consisted mostly of long block paragraphs. Spending three hours critiquing this piece would knock me completely out of the running for reaching my writing goals, so I hit the back button.

dpaterso
05-13-2008, 03:19 AM
18. (Encouraging) Your stating up front that this is an unchecked first pass that you scribbled during your coffee break, and your refusal to employ coherent grammar and punctuation, tells me you're a creative rebel with attitude who's bound to take the literary world by storm. Good luck with all your endeavors!

-Derek

Namatu
05-13-2008, 03:50 AM
I relate to so many of these. Thank you for doing my thinking for me so I don't have to.

Pat~
05-13-2008, 03:58 AM
I relate to so many of these. Thank you for doing my thinking for me so I don't have to.

You're welcome.

(Hey, you know you don't even have to cut and paste; just list the #s of all the ones that apply, and we can look them up...)

Soccer Mom
05-13-2008, 07:15 AM
19. (Over Forty) Holy Toledo, Batman! That's some tiny font you've got there!

alleycat
05-13-2008, 07:22 AM
20. (The Higher Authority) [Inset name of famous author here] wouldn't have done it that way.

Rolling Thunder
05-13-2008, 07:30 AM
21. (The clueless Mod) I thought it was SPAM. Sorry, my mistake...

alleycat
05-13-2008, 07:38 AM
22. (The Wall of Words) Would you put at least one paragraph break in your 28,000 word post.

;-)

SPMiller
05-13-2008, 07:53 AM
23. (The Ordinary AW Member) I'm not a critter. What does SYW mean, anyway? Single Young Woman?

24. (The Leisure Reader) I'm just here to waste time at work, man.

25. (The Published Author) My success has exempted me from any obligation whatsoever to lend aid to the unwashed masses of amateur writers. Your post is so bad it makes me see red. Please give up.

Silver King
05-13-2008, 08:16 AM
26. Your writing sucks. I was going to take the time to crit your piece and explain that reality in a roundabout way but figured a straightforward approach would save us both time.

Novelust
05-13-2008, 08:20 AM
26. (The Unpublished Author) I haven't written anything. My opinion can't possibly matter... *sigh*

27. (Crazy Eyes) Something in the way you've posted or specified which kinds of feedback are 'appropriate' makes me think you are dangerously fragile/insane/angry/etc.

28. (Short Attention Span Theater) I read your post. Then I clicked through to your other posts to see if you were a nice sort of person. While I was there, I got distracted by another thread where they were posting funny youtube videos and I decided that I'd get back t--

SPMiller
05-13-2008, 08:28 AM
29. (The Pervert) The fact that your work has sexual content is obviously an implicit request to be spammed with inappropriate, disturbing, and/or creepy rep comments and private messages. To people reading the thread, it only looks like no one is responding...

Priene
05-13-2008, 12:23 PM
30 (RSI in ring finger) Your work is intriguing, sure, and I believe my comments could help your development as a writer, but every time I type a 'W' a stabbing pain shoots up my forearm, and I just can't face the agony my lengthy critique would inflict.

Joycecwilliams
05-13-2008, 06:37 PM
One thing I did notice, however if something is exceptionally poorly written, it gets commented on fast.

Pat~
05-13-2008, 07:31 PM
The originality of these additions to The Template is taking my breath away.


Carry on. :D