Un-fan letter

Yep, though through email and not mail. Lots of really nasty things. If someone disagrees with something I wrote in a polite manner, I will respond thanking them for their time and maybe addressing the issues (though doubtful). If they are rude, it gets deleted unread. Ignoring them is the best response. For one, it leaves them wondering if you even got it. For another, you don't want to reward that sort of behavior.

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i'm sorry i forgot to sign it. i was in a hurry and had a lot of other hatemail i needed to get out that day.

I would be concerned how they got your home slow mail address. It might be someone you know...otherwise how could they know where you live?

And I agree that ignore is the way to go with that kind of input. It serves no purpose at all. (here's a hug for you....(((((((you))))))

Will, I was just looking at your pic. Are you retaining water? Look a little puffy around the eyes. Or maybe you should check out the South Beach diet.

Signed,

Hey, Susie, I think you might be on the right track about that jealousy thing. Why do some people put others down? From my experience, it's usually because they're insecure about themselves in some way and feel they must try to make themselves seem "bigger" by belittling someone else. This is not your problem. It's theirs. Nuff said.

There's definitely a difference, IMO, between critical comments that are intended to help someone as a writer and "insults" that are meant to hurt someone as a person.

Hang in there, Susie. I think you're a good writer and a good person.

in all seriousness, i would be most concerned as to how this person got your home address.

hang on to the letter as evidence should any other shenanigans occur. postmarks can narrow down sender's location, and (worst case scenario) fingerprints can be lifted from paper.

aside from that, i'd try not to worry about it and i certainly wouldn't expend the mental energy trying to understand why people act the way they do.

humanity, in the larger cosmic sense, is scum.

good people are the exception, not the rule.

The world is comprised of do'ers, do'ees, and do'nuttins. The Do'ees are self-appointed critics and they FAR outweigh the do'ers. The do-nuttins seem to outnumber both the do'ers and do-ees and are, for the most part, benign.

Now, of those do'ees, there's something called the 5%'ers. This means that 5% of the do'ees create 95% of all jealousy, hate and disconent. You just encountered one of the 5%'ers. In the grand scheme of things, those folk are insignificant, so don't lose any sleep over him/her.

As an aside, consider Will and Wendy's advice to hang onto the envelope and letter. There's always the possibility (be it remote) that you have encountered a potential stalker. And don't freak. People in the public eye get all kinds of weird mail, threats, etc,. and a small percentage ever encountered actual problems. Nevertheless, it pays to be observant.

How dispicable and cowardly. If someone's going to send hate mail, at least have the guts to sign a name to it.

Sheesh.

Susie, I'm sorry you got such a nasty piece of mail. All I can say is all things come back threefold. Whoever sent that to you is due for some bad karma.

it's usually because they're insecure about themselves in some way and feel they must try to make themselves seem "bigger" by belittling someone else.

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The quote above is exactly what it's all about. Forget about it. The way I would view it is you obviously are doing something good that this person only wish they could do. So, to hide their low self esteem, they try to bring others down, who they feel inferior to.

Celeste

Well look at a website.

I found out that I had my address on a website that I had built under PublishAmerica. I also had a online thing on another site supposedly promoting my book. I got some very nasty emails and letters. I had one threaten to show up at my house and smack me. That one got the attention of my neighbor who is a Federal Agent. I am not that worried but I do have cameras around my house. If they feel like going past my eight dogs, a thirty-eight and my husband's .280 show up. But somehow the camera with video and audio will stop them first. We did trace one guy to Gitmo Prison and he is being dealt with. But you know you can always file a complaint with the Postal Inspector and show him the letter if it distrurbs you.

Name

William Haskins said:

in all seriousness, i would be most concerned as to how this person got your home address.

hang on to the letter as evidence should any other shenanigans occur. postmarks can narrow down sender's location, and (worst case scenario) fingerprints can be lifted from paper.

aside from that, i'd try not to worry about it and i certainly wouldn't expend the mental energy trying to understand why people act the way they do.

humanity, in the larger cosmic sense, is scum.

good people are the exception, not the rule.

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If you know someone's real name, and the state they live in, it takes about five seconds to get their address online. If they have a phone in their name, you don't even have to know what you're doing to find their address. And far more often than not, if you have an e-mail address for them, getting their home address is a snap.

Rejoice. It means you're now famous enough for people to send you hate mail. You're in the company of authors and celebs such as Stephen King and Paris Hilton.

I got my first un-fan mail a while back. The guy couldn't even write a complete sentence or spell correctly, and he called me the worst writer in the world. I just chuckled and discarded his mail. It just meant I was so damn good that he had to be so damn jealous about it to send me hate mail.

Wow, that sounds horrible Susie. It seems like there are some people who just take sheer delight in raining on other people's parades. Aww, the heck with 'em! The "little green monster of jealousy" is most likely the case!

Debbie

I have had a couple through email. I would be inclined to file paper hatemail away somewhere, just in case. But if that's the end of it, no worries. Focus on the positive!

It's too bad she didn't sign or anything. I have the joy of writing a column every two weeks about foreign films. And you know how cult film fans can be. Heaven forbid you say one thing isn't perfect or get the tiniest of facts incorrect -- you will hear about it.

Fortunately this has all been by e-mail and I generally take the time to write back even the most illiterate of my detractors. Usually with some back and forth discussion all can be figured out. I've had a lot of difficult friends in my time so I don't mind dealing with difficult people. But it's gotten to the point that I'm afraid to open e-mails because I don't know if they are going to be positive or negative! But yeah, it's too bad you can't write her back.

People don't snail mail me at my address because I move once a year! Moving is no fun, it just happens that way, but it generally keeps my current address off the internet -- and keeps those collection companies guessing!

It kinda ruins your day to get something like that. But when we do, we should try to have a laugh (and take a few precautions) and then move on.

I used to write a weekly column for the Sunday newspaper, and I would regularly get hate mail. You get used to it. I figured it indicated that at least someone other than my mother was reading it. Or wait, maybe those letters were from my mom. . .