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View Full Version : 25 REASONS I OWE MY MOTHER



HeronW
05-12-2008, 12:14 AM
1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE.
'If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished
cleaning.'
2. My mother taught me RELIGION.
'You better pray that will come out of the carpet.'
3. My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL.
'If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle
of next week!'
4. My mother taught me LOGIC.'Because I said so, that's why.'
5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC.
'If you fall out of that swing and break your neck,
you're not going to the store with me.'
6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT.
'Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident.'
7. My mother taught me IRONY
'Keep crying, and I'll give you something to cry about.'
8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS.
'Shut your mouth and eat your supper.'
9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM.
'Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck!'
10. My mother taught me about STAMINA.
'You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone.'
11. My mother taught me about WEATHER.
'This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it.'
12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY.
'If I told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!'
13 My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE.
'I brought you into this world, and I can take you out.'
14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION.
'Stop acting like your father!'
15. My mother taught me about ENVY.
'There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who
don't have wonderful parents like you do.'
16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION.
'Just wait until we get home.'
17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING.
'You are going to get it when you get home!'
18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE.
'If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to freeze that
way.'
19. My mother taught me ESP.
'Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?'
20. My mother taught me HUMOR.
'When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me.'
21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT.
'If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up.'
22. My mother taught me GENETICS.
'You're just like your father.'
23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS.
'Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?'
24. My mother taught me WISDOM.
'When you get to be my age, you'll understand.'
And my favorite:
25. My mother taught me about JUSTICE
'One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you!'

Jongfan
05-12-2008, 12:24 AM
These are great
#25 I use a lot..but I add "and may they be triplets"

Ken
05-12-2008, 12:41 AM
lol :D
I used to hear, "Don't play with your food,"
especially when the meal consisted of yucky vegetables.

Siddow
05-12-2008, 12:48 AM
Here's the big piece o'logic I got from my mother:

LOOK WITH YOUR EYES INSTEAD OF YOUR MOUTH.

I love that, use it all the time, since everyone assumes I know where everything is. Hey, family, I don't! I didn't take off your shoes, you did! Think back to where that was...:D

Chumplet
05-12-2008, 01:05 AM
My mom used a lot of those, and I find myself saying the same things to my kids.

My stock phrase in a store was, "Look with your eyes, not with your fingers."

Another one, when my daughter can't find something specific in the fridge: "In this world, we don't have x-ray vision and everything isn't transparent. Look behind stuff."

The one about the underwear baffles me. If I was in an accident, I'm pretty sure my underwear won't be clean anyway. I'd probably piss myself.

Serenity
05-12-2008, 05:57 AM
My mom taught me about nature and banking: MONEY DOESN'T GROW ON TREES.

JoNightshade
05-12-2008, 06:02 AM
My grandma was the one who taught me about always wearing clean underwear. "You never know when you're going to get in an accident, and some handsome doctor at the hospital will be the one to fix you up!" (Grandma's mission in life was to see me married to a handsome, wealthy man.)

Kerr
05-12-2008, 08:30 AM
My mother liked to say, "Get that look off your face before it freezes that way." :eek:

Bravo
05-12-2008, 08:58 AM
i love this. i actually printed it out and gave it to my mom for mother's day.

ErylRavenwell
05-12-2008, 02:26 PM
My mom taught me about nature and banking: MONEY DOESN'T GROW ON TREES.

Hahaha. All mothers say that. But money does grow on trees. You just have to bargain whatever grows on the tree for money.