View Full Version : Rewrite the mood of a passage

05-11-2008, 07:16 PM
So, the rule of the game is simple. I'll give you a passage, very bare-bones, stripped to its essentials, with no discernible mood. You will have to "color" it one of the following moods without changing its structure and content.



I'll start:

A tree in the middle of a plain. A river by its side. A man appearing in the distance, then moving closer. He leaves the trail to go to the banks of the river. He drinks, then returns to his trail. He moves farther, then disappears.

05-12-2008, 04:28 AM
The tree stood in the middle of the plain, stark and barren, shimmering in the haze of the hot summer sun.
A man appeared in the distance sitting erect on his horse. Dan Johnson surveyed the land ahead, seeing the tree and a river that lay just beyond it. A good place to take a refresher. The horse trotted down the slope approaching the lonely tree. Dan steered his horse past the tree and approached the river that almost overflowed its banks after the heavy rains that had swept by earlier.
Dan dismounted from his horse and removed his hat from his head, dipping it into the river then drinking thirstily from it. He allowed his horse to drink further upriver from him.
He surveyed the landscape, looking for telltale dust rising from the horse of the gang he was pursuing. His eyes narrowed as silent rage ran through him as he thought of what his they had done to his wife and child. Revenge was his motivation now, driving him on when all he wanted to do was collapse in grief.
After drinking his fill, Dan splashed water in his face, the coldness of it invigorating him. Once man and horse were suffiently refreshed, Dan mounted his gelding, eager to resume the pursuit. He'd made up his mind the James gang would pay for their sins. Clicking his horse into movement they crossed the river and continued following the trail of their quarry, eventually the lonely tree faded from sight and the tall unforgiving mountains lay ahead. Dan knew for sure the gangs hideout would be there somewhere.

Ok this is my take on the story using the emotion of anger. Not sure how good it is and if this is what you had in mind but I'm stuffed after overeating on Mothers Day. Lol!