This made me laugh - a PA press release

Janeyboo · May 9, 2008

I stumbled across this:

http://www.free-press-release.com/news/200607/1154011217.html

And it made me laugh out loud. Apart from all the grammatical errors, it's all about Mr Creighton Hobbs and his many brushes with death:

"Mr. Hobbs has been declared legally deceased five times, survived ten diabetic comma�s, had multiple near death experiences, seventeen car wreck five of which where completely totaled, shot at, shot up, beat up, heart broken, been fired from every job that Mr. Hobbs has had, a former drug addict, and his trials and tribulations of diabetes, and there is so much that Mr. Hobbs had to write a book about his life, and How Many Chances that he has gotten".

Wow. Do you know anyone who's survived not one but TEN diabetic commas?

Sheryl Nantus · May 9, 2008

wow... that's one LONG sentence!

Jersey Chick · May 9, 2008

Um... what's a diabetic comma? Is that like a near-fatal apostrophe attack?

I especially love the plug for PA at the end - adds a nice touch...

Marie Pacha · May 9, 2008

Commas?
Not comas? His punctuation has sugar problems?

I would guess that is from the back copy of his book. PA requires an author to write that for themselves (at least they did me), and it's published for everyone to see as a representation of PA's editing.

Ol' Fashioned Girl · May 9, 2008

How ironic that he's survived all that... only to be gotten by PA in the end...

kullervo · May 9, 2008

I hope that's the worst writing I see this week. Ow ow ow.

Stew21 · May 9, 2008

That is one of the worst press releases I have ever seen, just with grammar, spelling, and sentence structure!
Atrocious.

IceCreamEmpress · May 9, 2008

A PA press release without gloves resonating in niches from coast to coast? UNPOSSIBLE!

BenPanced · May 9, 2008

<snagglepussvoice>Across the fruited plains, even.</snagglepussvoice>

Toothpaste · May 9, 2008

Can't remember the last time a press release mentioned the following about their publishing company: "Like more mainstream publishers, Publish America pays its authors advances and royalties, makes its books available in both the United States and Europe through all bookstores, and never charges any fees for its services."

Or is this typical language for all houses?

Jersey Chick · May 9, 2008

I guess if they say it often enough, it simply must be true.

I picked up on that and did an eye roll - I'll have to look at the NYT Book Review section this weekend and see if the big guys do that as well.

somehow, though, i think i know the answer

joyce · May 9, 2008

Janeyboo said:
"Mr. Hobbs has been declared legally deceased five times, survived ten diabetic comma�s, had multiple near death experiences, seventeen car wreck five of which where completely totaled, shot at, shot up, beat up, heart broken, been fired from every job that Mr. Hobbs has had, a former drug addict, and his trials and tribulations of diabetes, and there is so much that Mr. Hobbs had to write a book about his life, and How Many Chances that he has gotten".

Holy bat crap! It's the reincarnation of my dead first husband living his life all over again. They even write alike.

Sparhawk · May 10, 2008

I weep for that prose.

Soccer Mom · May 10, 2008

I think I'd be suing my doctor after diabetic coma number five, but maybe not if they were commas.

Gads that was painful to read.

At least Mr. Hobbs has finally found a job he can't be fired from (yanno, until he gets cranky on the PAMB or refuses to sell books to his family and friends.)

mscelina · May 10, 2008

diabetic commas--articles of punctuation which indicate pauses in purple prose.

stormie · May 10, 2008

I love this part: "We feel that not only is Mr. Hobbs a good media entertainment, but brings his story of triumph over tragedy to a positive outlook on life."

Just reading the press release was great entertainment.

CACTUSWENDY · May 10, 2008

MY EYES....MY EYES!

Make it stop. Please..............................

benbradley · May 10, 2008

Soccer Mom said:
I think I'd be suing my doctor after diabetic coma number five, but maybe not if they were commas.

Gads that was painful to read.

At least Mr. Hobbs has finally found a job he can't be fired from (yanno, until he gets cranky on the PAMB or refuses to sell books to his family and friends.)

mscelina said:
diabetic commas--articles of punctuation which indicate pauses in purple prose.

He didn't need a doctor for this (though he likely still needed a doc for other things) - any decent editor or fellow writer would have quickly removed those diabetic commas from his manuscript.

Diabetic commas - yet another reason to stay away from PA.

Christine N. · May 11, 2008

Ow. Ow. Ow.

I wanna know how he survived seventeen car WRECK. I guess he was in a diabetic comma and punctuated his way out.

Sheesh. The advice your fifth grade teacher gave you is as true today as ever - PROOFREAD!

Janeyboo · May 11, 2008

Mr Creighton Hobbs

I feel for him. All that work, all those diabetic commas. And then to read a press release where the grammar and spelling is SO bad, it's almost like it's a deliberate spoof. It must have broken the poor guy's heart.

Khazarkhum · May 12, 2008

Diabetic commas are what you use to turn a basic poem into sticky sweet doggerel to sell to teenage girls, mothers of little kids, and nice old ladies. You know the types: if it can be printed over a stock photo of a rose & sold in truck stop gift shops, it's used a diabetic comma.

allenparker · May 15, 2008

Janeyboo said:
I stumbled across this:

http://www.free-press-release.com/news/200607/1154011217.html

This fellow is a graduate from the Bob Dole School of Press Releases. Bob Dole says, "Bob Dole will teach you everything you need to know or Bob Dole will refund almost none of your money, so help me, Bob Dole."

C.M. Daniels · Jun 7, 2008

I'm not sure if I should laugh or cry.

ghost · Jun 8, 2008

Have any of you seen his website? I kinda felt for him until I saw his site. I'm not a big fan of people who don't tell the truth. The bolding is mine.

This news has just come in and this Friday morning at 9:00 A.M. Best selling author Creighton Hobbs will be on the morning show on Radio station 1580 AM - WPMP – Pascagoula; Mississippi. Creighton Hobbs will be a guest on the Hal Comello Show in which they will be discussing in depth what inspired Mr. Hobbs to begin writing. How he got published worldwide, what is new and other projects that Mr. Hobbs has planned, and just general questions about “How Many Chances.”

http://www.howmanychances.com/aboutus.htm

Click to expand...

PVish · Jun 8, 2008

ghost said:
Have any of you seen his website? I kinda felt for him until I saw his site. I'm not a big fan of people who don't tell the truth. The bolding is mine.

I'm not a fan of "authors" who have numerous grammatical/punctuation errors on their sites.

This news has just come in and this Friday morning at 9:00 A.M. Best selling author Creighton Hobbs will be on the morning show on Radio station 1580 AM - WPMP – Pascagoula; Mississippi. Creighton Hobbs will be a guest on the Hal Comello Show in which they will be discussing in depth what inspired Mr. Hobbs to begin writing. How he got published worldwide, what is new and other projects that Mr. Hobbs has planned, and just general questions about “How Many Chances.”

http://www.howmanychances.com/aboutus.htm

Now, he might possibly be teling the truth about one point: A "best selling author" is different from a "best-selling author." A "best selling author" would be the author who is the best at selling his own books; i.e., he has books filling the backseat as well as the trunk. A "best-selling author" is the kind you see on the NYT list.

What a difference a hyphen makes!

Meanwhile, I'm still cringing at the errors in the mission statement:

Creighton Hobbs Mission is to see a more positive side to life. More so he not only wrote a book about all of his tragedy's. But he has learned to take a negative, and turn it into a positive! Not to mention that Mr. Hobbs is very entertaining, and will be having several guest appearance. By some world renown authors, some of the guest will be some of the hottest local music artist on the coast. And you really never know who is going to show up, or going to be booked on this show. So check back soon, because it is going to one ride that you will never forget!

What a difference an editor could have made to his work! He probably has a really interesting story to tell.

This made me laugh - a PA press release

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