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Soccer Mom
05-07-2008, 11:28 PM
Hah. Made you look.

But since you're here, I've got a little problem. Maybe you can help.

I've got this nifty new gavel and auctioneer dais. I've even got some awesomely modlike powers (plus a handsome shock collar). I'm all poised and ready to sell stuff to help keep AW debt free.

And I've got nothing to sell. :Shrug:


Nothing.


We need donations for the AW Auctions, goods or services that you would be willing to offer up for AW. Just be sure that it is something you can actually deliver. We had one instance where it didn't work out and folks were mighty disappointed.

So how about it? Can you help a mommy out?

Maryn
05-07-2008, 11:34 PM
Here, put this up for auction. It's not that big a deal to make, and it did well last time.


Maryn’s Caramel Corn

Home-made caramel-coated popcorn with your choice of peanuts, almonds, or bite-sized chunks of a broken beer bottle. (Brown and colorless glass only; green discontinued.)*

Fresh canola oil-popped popcorn, real butter, and dark brown sugar slow-bake, stirred every ten minutes, into Maryn’s Caramel Corn, a rich blend of candy-like decadence with health-friendly popcorn and protein from nuts. Add a glass of water and you can write for hours fueled by this stuff, as long as you lick your fingers after every handful.

The winning bidder will receive approximately 2 quarts of caramel corn with nuts, wrapped in plastic as soon as it’s cool enough, then packaged and shipped via US mail within 24 hours of preparation. (Same day is likely but not guaranteed.)

Starting bid of $12 includes mailing within the US. Caramel corn ships very well, so why not send some to your kid at college, a far-away AW friend, or a soldier overseas? I believe the previous buyers will vouch that the stuff's addictive.

Maryn, whose family calls this “Hardcob Cornography”

* For goodness’ sake, it’s a joke. We still drink both Heineken and Woodchuck.

Sarita
05-07-2008, 11:36 PM
I might be enticed to donate a piece of art, if I ever get around to making any... Ooo, I have all day tomorrow (except for 2 hours I'm giving to Jason's amazing initiative (http://absolutewrite.com/forums/showthread.php?t=101794).) I'll get back to you after tomorrow.

Here's a sample of my style (http://www.poisonpen.net/fiction/philosophy-of-the-flesh/).

I'm also good for baked goods...

Soccer Mom
05-07-2008, 11:39 PM
Yay for food and art! Thank you, Maryn and Sara, for your love of AW!

Soccer Mom
05-07-2008, 11:51 PM
And anyone who wants to remain anonymous can always PM me with donations.

:e2cry: Don't make me beg.

auntybug
05-07-2008, 11:55 PM
Like I'm falling for that "Don't look here" business again.... %$#!

Whatcha want lady?? I can whip up another shirt. I was thinking an "STFU" :D

Ideas? PM me - glad to do it.

mscelina
05-07-2008, 11:56 PM
Let me look through my backstock of antique books tonight when I get home from work. I'll pm you with a super duper nifty prize tomorrow.

Sarita
05-07-2008, 11:57 PM
Let me look through my backstock of antique books tonight when I get home from work. I'll pm you with a super duper nifty prize tomorrow.
OMG! I'm bidding. I'm bidding. Just give them to me!!! :)

Soccer Mom
05-08-2008, 12:06 AM
I'm drooling at the thought of a shirt to auction. And an antique book? You are seriously wonderful, Celina. (like I didn't know that already :D)

kristie911
05-08-2008, 12:25 AM
*drooling at the thought of Maryn's caramel corn*

KTC
05-08-2008, 12:31 AM
Well. I was on the receiving end of two auctions. I had Sista's jams... which were heavenly, and Chris's picture (and a fish!), which looks great on my wall. I would love to find something to donate. Give me a while to think this one over. I MUST have something worthy of the auction. I will ponder...

Silver King
05-08-2008, 01:16 AM
...I believe the previous buyers will vouch that the stuff's addictive.
It's also delicious and has the added bonus that Maryn made the treat with her own loving hands. I wisely set some aside for myself before the family caught sight of the prize, whereupon it disappeared in short order. They begged for more, and Maryn was kind enough to provide the recipe with detailed instructions. Sadly, my attempts to duplicate her divine Caramel Corn fell short in every way, and I was left with fist-sized chunks that resembled jagged meteors that had landed in the kitchen.

Little Red Barn
05-08-2008, 01:21 AM
I'll look for you, Mary.
hugs

soleary
05-08-2008, 01:21 AM
I bid $50 for her carmel corn! Who dares to top me???

Jersey Chick
05-08-2008, 01:22 AM
I can knit - would something like an afghan or such be acceptable?

Soccer Mom
05-08-2008, 01:31 AM
I bid $50 for her carmel corn! Who dares to top me???

Whoa there, Sea Biscuit. :D The auctions will follow. This is just to amass the list of things donated.

But I'll bear that bid in mind when starting the auction. ;)

Soccer Mom
05-08-2008, 01:32 AM
I can knit - would something like an afghan or such be acceptable?

That would be amazing, Jersey!

Jersey Chick
05-08-2008, 01:39 AM
And it might even look like an afghan when I'm done ;)

Just kidding - I can post pics of the ones I've done so far. :D

robeiae
05-08-2008, 01:47 AM
Hah. Made you look.

But since you're here, I've got a little problem. Maybe you can help.

Try lacing some Fritos with cyanide or some other handy poison, then put them in a bowl next to Haggis' beer. That should work.

Williebee
05-08-2008, 01:48 AM
OK, services to offer... hmm, let's see.

Not legal, not legal, not legal unless licensed authorities are present, not legal, legal but "icky", not legal.

OK then, How about I offer up some one of a kind handmade glass jewelry? Maybe a necklace? (Not handmade by me. My Darling Bride is the lampworker. But I did make the sign that hangs over her torch that reads: "Thou shalt not set thyself on fire.")

Soccer Mom
05-08-2008, 02:16 AM
OK, services to offer... hmm, let's see.

Not legal, not legal, not legal unless licensed authorities are present, not legal, legal but "icky", not legal.

OK then, How about I offer up some one of a kind handmade glass jewelry? Maybe a necklace? (Not handmade by me. My Darling Bride is the lampworker. But I did make the sign that hangs over her torch that reads: "Thou shalt not set thyself on fire.")

Double check that one with Darling Bride, but if she says yes... :hooray:

BardSkye
05-08-2008, 02:25 AM
How about a pair of young fantasy writers' anthologies?

Some awfully good stories in there.

Williebee
05-08-2008, 02:28 AM
Double check that one with Darling Bride, but if she says yes...

Are you kidding? I didn't stay alive this long by volunteering her efforts. Good grief. The woman's from Georgia, for crying out loud. Pull a stunt like that she'd say something like, "Well bless your heart. You know you got to sleep sometime, right?"

:)

So, yeah, she volunteered. We can probably let the winner choose a couple of favorite colors for the beadwork.

Shweta
05-08-2008, 02:34 AM
I'm willing to donate art, or if I actually get to doing it, carved homemade candles. But that latter will take me a bit to set up - I'm happy to get started on it, but don't expect any for a month or two.

Art samples here (http://shwetambari.deviantart.com/). If anyone likes my current pieces I can email them a high-res version to print for... say a dollar or two donated to AW, on the honor system?

Jersey Chick
05-08-2008, 03:19 AM
I'm in, but I'm working on a blanket for my niece now, so anything I did wouldn't be ready until early July at the earliest. That still okay?

Soccer Mom
05-08-2008, 03:20 AM
:e2cry: My first auction! (http://absolutewrite.com/forums/showthread.php?t=102001)

I'm so lonely in there.

aka eraser
05-08-2008, 03:46 AM
I can pony up a signed copy of my book.

Soccer Mom
05-08-2008, 04:03 AM
I can pony up a signed copy of my book.

Thank you, O Normal One!

robeiae
05-08-2008, 04:07 AM
500 Quatloos on the newcomer!

Bubastes
05-08-2008, 05:15 AM
Hey Soccer Mom, if we want to donate something, what's the deadline? I have an idea, but I need to scrounge around a bit before I can commit to anything.

Soccer Mom
05-08-2008, 05:20 AM
No deadline! I'll take whatever you've got, whenever you've got it!

http://images.icanhascheezburger.com/completestore/2008/5/7/mwahahahahami128546752976385000.jpg

Matera the Mad
05-08-2008, 05:53 AM
Erm...miniature quilts? Bead encrusted vial pendants? Pics available. That's all old stuff still in stock. Now I do computer art and websites.

Soccer Mom
05-08-2008, 06:07 AM
Erm...miniature quilts? Bead encrusted vial pendants? Pics available. That's all old stuff still in stock. Now I do computer art and websites.


Thank you!

Bmwhtly
05-08-2008, 11:41 AM
Marynís Caramel Corn *calls bank manager*

...a far-away AW friend, or a soldier overseas?Yup, I got Transatlantic Corn last time!

I don't expect my baked goods would make it going the other way. So I'll satisfy myself with bidding :)

Soccer Mom
05-13-2008, 12:23 AM
Nothing to see here. Nope. Not at all.









:D Cause the next auction is tomorrow.

And it's writerly and amazing and something we have never auctioned off before.

Bmwhtly
05-13-2008, 04:04 PM
the next auction is tomorrow.
*waits patiently, tapping foot*

Soccer Mom
05-13-2008, 04:16 PM
Sorry, Ben. It's a wee early in Texs. :D Patience. Have some popcorn.

Bmwhtly
05-13-2008, 04:18 PM
:rant:


:popcorn:

Birol
05-13-2008, 07:23 PM
I'm willing to donate art, or if I actually get to doing it, carved homemade candles. But that latter will take me a bit to set up - I'm happy to get started on it, but don't expect any for a month or two.

You carve homemade candles??? ::drool:: Yet another reasons I :heart: you.

Pat~
05-13-2008, 07:41 PM
Well...I was trying to be obedient and not read this thread, but I finally sinned, so here I am, Soccermommy...

And as long as I'm here, I should mention that I bake some pretty decent chocolate chip cookies (or oatmeal raisin, or snickerdoodles, or a 3-way combo)...feel free to offer a box of these for the AW Auction. :e2cookie:

Soccer Mom
05-13-2008, 07:48 PM
Hooray! Thanks, Pat!

The new auction will debut tonight and it's just the thing for Writer's Block.



http://images.icanhascheezburger.com/completestore/2008/5/7/mwahahahahami128546752976385000.jpg

Soccer Mom
05-14-2008, 01:49 AM
AHEM! (http://absolutewrite.com/forums/showthread.php?t=102554)

ChaosTitan
05-14-2008, 03:47 AM
Gotta hairball, SM? :)

Soccer Mom
05-14-2008, 03:51 AM
AHEM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Psst: click the link in my sig. :D

ChaosTitan
05-14-2008, 03:54 AM
Click on the sink in your lig?

Soccer Mom
05-14-2008, 03:56 AM
THE LINK IN MY SIG. LINK! LINK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! LIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINK!11111!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

ChaosTitan
05-14-2008, 03:58 AM
Okay, okay, you don't have to shout.

Goodness, gracious.











:e2tongue: :e2flowers

Soccer Mom
05-14-2008, 03:59 AM
http://images.icanhascheezburger.com/completestore/2008/5/1/enlarjedtos128541723656027500.jpg

ChaosTitan
05-14-2008, 04:03 AM
http://scienceblogs.com/ethicsandscience/2007/08/31/i-ar-inosent-test-teh-dna.jpg

Soccer Mom
05-14-2008, 05:06 AM
http://images.icanhascheezburger.com/completestore/2008/4/29/hairballejectur128539686777656250.jpg

DamaNegra
05-14-2008, 06:46 AM
I didn't read this thread. I'm just responding.

Shweta
05-14-2008, 07:54 AM
You carve homemade candles??? ::drool:: Yet another reasons I :heart: you.

But not with figures of destroyer gods, or after 11pm.
I escaped with just stitches, no permanent nerve damage, once. I'm not pushing it again :D

Birol
05-14-2008, 08:02 AM
Check. Gotcha. Have to buy a 'How To' kit if I want to candles carved with Destroyer Gods. (Seriously, let me know when or if you donate the candles.)

Shweta
05-14-2008, 08:16 AM
The candles probably won't be till after WisCon (which is the weekend after next). But if my health improves I will donate art of some sort this weekend.

writerterri
05-14-2008, 08:32 AM
I'll do a blanket as always and a baby item. No problem. Just let me know who wins it.


*smooches*

Soccer Mom
05-14-2008, 05:24 PM
Thanks y'all! you're all rock stars in my book.