View Full Version : After almost a year, this isn’t funny anymore.

05-07-2008, 06:32 PM
I keep a pair of red stiletto heels cooling by the door. I had my face surgically removed and a clone of George Clooney’s installed. I taught myself the manly art of foot massaging and distilling gin in my bathtub. And still she didn’t return.

I invented the world’s first Potty Mouth Reworder so that Grandma would only hear the pleasant sounds of a young child talking to her priest when the lady spoke. I built a large castle fit for a Killer, with all the amenities a dog could love. But no return seemed evident.

I surrounded the whole compound with a Nitwit fence, one that would repel nitwits, sending them spiraling toward the clue gun for one last blast before tumbling across the sky. They make such a pretty sight as they crash into the wall, splattering silliness like art on the West Gate. But the gate remains unvisited.

Finally, I collected a thousand questions from the Great Literary Guru who promises me these questions will be the ultimate attractant for the fair lady, a list of questions she could not possibly refrain from answering. And still she hasn’t returned.

I am starting to think this wasn’t a giant joke. Do you think it is possible that Miss Snark isn’t coming back? Awaiting your thoughts with razor held tightly to my wrists.

This message paid for in part by the Coalition of Authors for Snarky Health (Your support is appreciated. Please Use our initials when sending checks. ) and the National Information Technology Workers In Training (Use our initials, too, please)

05-07-2008, 06:35 PM
(psst...try here.) (http://queryshark.blogspot.com/)

05-07-2008, 07:00 PM
Yeah, I just found out about Query Shark yesterday when I was reading Colleen Lindsay's blog. *sniff* It's helping...

05-07-2008, 07:29 PM
SO who was holding out on me? Come on. Come up here and take your punishment.

05-07-2008, 07:33 PM
<---found out about it YESTERDAY.

So, obviously it was Siddow. :D

05-07-2008, 10:25 PM
oooh...do I get a spanking?

05-07-2008, 10:37 PM
Okay, you did what?

05-08-2008, 07:55 PM
oooh...do I get a spanking?

Where is that dang riding crop when you need it?

Wait! Aren't you supposed to be grabbing your ankles. Now the mood is gone.

Now it's lunch time. Better try again tomorrow.