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theengel
05-06-2008, 07:11 AM
Ack...I haven't worn swim trunks since I was ten. I've never been to the beach. I'm scared of sharks. I don't like the feeling of sand on my feet.

And I'm supposed to write about manners at the beach.

I'm thinking I'll focus on sun bathing or dealing with people who 'think they own the place'.

Any help will get 50 prayers and some karma.

theengel
05-06-2008, 07:12 AM
I just realized that my pic has me right next to water. So this post is kind of funny. But this is a river bank...not a beach. And I'm just teaching the kids to skip rocks.

ChaosTitan
05-06-2008, 07:25 AM
As someone who grew up in a resort town, here's a few helpful hints:

-Do not run in close quarters. If the beach is packed, walk slowly and carefully around other people. Otherwise, you'll kick sand into their faces, towels, soft drinks, etc.... Sand-kicking is evil.

-Do not bring a radio. If you do, wear headphones. Not wearing headphones will only serve to annoy everyone around you.

-Do not leave your trash, empty soda cans, paper plates, dirty diapers or other refuse in the sand. Most public beaches provide trash cans. Use them.

-If the beach has a boardwalk, and the boardwalk has those awesome mini-showers to hose the sand off your feet, hose off your feet and move on. Do not hog it up to wash the sand off your three children. Sand is going home with you no matter what you do. If they are really that sandy, dip them in the ocean again and make them walk gently, so as not to accumulate again.

-Be nice to the locals. They are the people fixing your food, serving your drinks, checking your parking meters, and lifeguarding your children. So be nice.

-On a crowded beach, do not attempt to initiate a game of frisbee or touch football (see the above note about flying sand).

-If the sign said "no flotation devices," leave the friggin' inner tubes/floating alligators/rafts at home!

-If the lifeguard nearest you starts blowing his whistle, pay attention. Make sure he's not blowing it at you (and if he is, do what he says).

-Did I mention be nice to the locals? :)

poetinahat
05-06-2008, 07:36 AM
Try not to stare at the bathing beauties. Keep your ogling discreet.

When walking past other bathers, keep enough clearance so that you don't accidentally (or otherwise) kick sand onto them.

If you're catching waves, don't stand directly in front of (or behind) someone else.

Don't litter; it's bogus. (That goes for cigarette butts too.)

No glass on the beach; it breaks, and the bits are dangerous.

Don't laugh at the old blokes wearing budgie smugglers.

waylander
05-06-2008, 01:12 PM
And control your f##king dog

WendyNYC
05-06-2008, 03:49 PM
And control your f##king dog


Yes, that's very important IF they allow dogs on the beach at all. Some places don't. Carry bags and clean up after your dog and only let him off leash if he's well-trained. Mine is a monster so he stays on the leash unless the beach is deserted.

WendyNYC
05-06-2008, 03:54 PM
Oh yeah, and be careful when you are shaking out your towels and blankets. Try to keep the sand-flinging to a minimum.

Here's a tip about sand and children: bring baby powder and sprinkle it on them before they get in the car. The sand comes right off. (Ok, that doesn't really have anything to do with manners, but I thought I'd share.)

theengel
05-08-2008, 06:58 AM
Thanks everyone for the awesome help. As promised, I'll set up a chapel in my bedroom and pray long and hard for you. Points added.

Michael Davis
05-09-2008, 10:52 PM
Don't stare at female body parts, unless of course you're wearing thick shades.

slcboston
05-09-2008, 11:01 PM
Don't stare at female body parts, unless of course you're wearing thick shades.

Isn't that the whole point of wearing sunglasses? For both the guys and girls? :)

Prawn
05-11-2008, 12:04 AM
What is the protocol when you are the nude beach and people start having sex?

I watched, which perhaps was rude.

Cranky
05-11-2008, 12:23 AM
:Jaw: Perhaps. But not as rude as public sex.

Thump
05-11-2008, 12:27 AM
Keep your kids on a leash >__<

I love kids but they make going to beach more pain than pleasure. People think that they can just let their kids go crazy on the beach. It ain't like that. Playing and running is all good but teach them not to do it too close to people, watch where they kick the ball and not to scream like madmen among other things. Also, it's your job to watch your kids not everyone elses. Do it!

Unless you're in France or somewhere else where it is permitted, keep your bikini top on. Funny how many people have issues with boobies around their kids.

No screaming "shark" while in the water! At least in countries where it's actually possible.

Also, no pretending to drown, that's just stupid.

Gentlemen, easy on the rough play in the water, you never know whose face is near your elbow and "sorry" doesn't quite make up for a cut eyebrow (I still hate that dude).

That's all I can think off right now.

HeronW
05-11-2008, 12:33 AM
Common sense:

If you bring valuables to the beach, don't. Lock them in the car. Don't rely on a person on the towel next to you to 'keep an eye' on your stuff.

ALWAYS watch your kids. Lifeguards can't do it all. Waves can knock small children over, undertows make balancing difficult. 3" of water is enough to drown in. Teach your kids respect for water and what it can do.

Don't let your kids dig holes into the sand deeper than they are. When wet sand collapses it will take longer to dig the child out than the child has air.

If your kids do dig holes, fill 'em in before you leave. People walk on the beach, they shouldn't have to dodge pits and risk spraining an ankle.

Don't fish where people are swimming: getting discarded hooks from cut lines in your feet isn't fun. Since the hooks are barbed reverse they'll need to be cut out.

Don't skim stones at active beaches. Someone may be swimming underwater and come up to your rock in their head.

If you bring it in, take it away: toys, trash, towels, etc.

Keep putting on sunscreen often on kids--young skin burns easily. SPF 45 minimum.

Know what's in your waters: cone shell occupants have dark spines coming out the bottom filled with a toxin that can be fatal if the cone is large, or if the person is allergic.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cone_snail

Medusas--most jellyfish may have small bodies 6-18" or 15-45 cm across but their many tendrils can extend for 3-6 feet, 1-2 meters behind and they break off easy. The stings hurt -- SafeSea applied like sun lotion works--and I know this for a fact.

I put some on, went in the water, felt what I thought was a bag on my leg--a 15" jelly was around my calf--no stinging! Need to put the lotion up to and under the bathing suit edges, esp. if the suit is loose or baggy
http://www.buysafesea.com/

Nude beaches are for everyone to enjoy--but they are not the proper place to have sex. Someone should have thrown water on the couple and thrown them out.

Michael Davis
05-11-2008, 08:43 PM
Isn't that the whole point of wearing sunglasses? For both the guys and girls? :)

You caught me, Boston.

Linda Adams
05-11-2008, 09:51 PM
Don't step on the jellyfish. They'd often wash ashore on the Morro Bay beaches following a storm. When my father was a boy, he stepped on one, which was an extremely painful experience. Also don't touch one with your tongue (from a news article years ago; boy did it on a dare, tongue swelled up, couldn't breathe).

If you see a dead seal on the beach, don't throw things at it or poke it with a stick. If possible, report the dead animal to the local authorities.

If there are any native animals to the beach, let them be!

Respect the environment. Of course, littering would come under this, but also parking in designated areas and staying on any marked trails. In some areas, even taking sand might be destructive (the Black Sand Beach in Hawaii).

Always follow the safety rules. Not doing so might endanger not only you but the people who try to help you.

brainstrains
05-12-2008, 05:07 PM
I used to live at/work for the beach in NJ. We have the most rules of any beaches. No animals of any kind. No coolers. No bicycles on the boardwalk after 10am. Wear your badge (our beaches are not free). Public restrooms not available. No alcoholic beverages. No beach buggies until off-season. Swim in between the flags. No surfing or fishing unless in specified areas. Do not walk on the dunes. Do not climb the fences. No disrobing. Do not block entrance. Do not litter.

Those were the posted rules; there are many other unspoken rules, many of which are listed above.

Danger Jane
05-12-2008, 11:29 PM
Stay off the roped-off wildlife areas. We need our endangered birdies.


And for the love of your child's sanctity, don't let him run around naked.

Tink
05-12-2008, 11:35 PM
Don't pee just 'cause you think no one is looking.

heyjude
05-12-2008, 11:35 PM
If the sign says no smoking, please at least refrain from blowing your cigarette smoke in my kids' faces.

Dario D.
05-13-2008, 02:11 AM
I've never been to the beach. I'm scared of sharks. I don't like the feeling of sand on my feet.

And I'm supposed to write about manners at the beach.

Okay, grab a chair - the California beach-goer is going to tell you how it's done. ;)

There really isn't a whole lot you can do WRONG at the beach that doesn't fall within the laws of obvious common sense... but there are a few nasty things that everyone hates.


Beach Rules:

- Don't run too close to other people. Your feet kick up sand, and the wind blows it onto them.

- Don't litter. (There's no better way to make tons of enemies than to let everyone see you littering wrappers and trash on the clean sand)

- Don't break glass bottles absolutely anywhere. (late-night BBQ people always manage to bring-and-break lots of glass beer bottles. Makes me sick.)

- Don't put rocks onto the sand. People step on them, and it hurts.

- Dolphins are fun.

- Don't worry about sharks (in California). Even if they're out there, they won't bother you 99.99999% of the time, unless you just waxed your surfboard with blood, or painted the bottom to look like a meatloaf sandwich.

- Don't boogey-board into people's heads. They do not count for bonus-points.

- Don't open gigantic submarine sandwiches in front of everyone else. People work up serious appetites at the beach, and 99% of them bring nothing more than Doritos and PB&J's.

- When it's very crowded, for crap's sake, don't launch whiffle balls and footballs (American football) to your friends halfway down the beach. I saw a group doing this on Labor Day (croooooowded), and they almost impaled people multiple times, and were yelled at twice. (they were numb-skulls of the supreme, most high order of the gods. I was one of several people who told them beforehand that they were going to nail somebody, and they just said (laughing), "Yeah, they are," referring to the guys they were passing to.) Afterward, a committee came and gave them an award for Morons of the Year. After the ceremony, there was cake.

General Joy
05-13-2008, 06:29 PM
Unless you're totally isolated on the beach, don't feed the seagulls. If it's a crowded beach, you might piss off the people near you, because if you feed one gull, a hundred more suddenly appear.

jannawrites
05-15-2008, 07:05 AM
Be aware of and respectful toward local wildlife.

In the Midwest we have birds called killdeer. (Maybe they're elsewhere, too?) The mama bird lays her eggs in the grass or, in this case, the sand on our lake's beach. When a human - danger! - approaches, she runs away from the nest. She flops around as if her wing is broken, causing a distraction, to keep said human's attention away from her babies. It's amazing.

If one weren't mindful, a nest of baby birds could be trampled over.

theengel
05-16-2008, 06:02 AM
Wow...thanks for all the tips everyone. I'm never going to get to sleep tonight...but you'll all have halos by tomorrow morning.

JimmyB27
05-19-2008, 01:24 AM
Try not to stare at the bathing beauties. Keep your ogling discreet.


Don't stare at female body parts, unless of course you're wearing thick shades.

Oh pish-posh. That's exactly why women wear such skimpy clothing - they love the attention.

Right?



Right?

Marian Perera
05-19-2008, 02:39 AM
What about beachcombing? When I was a kid and went to the beach, I loved collecting shells. After reading this thread, though, I'm a little concerned that this might be bad for the environment in some way. Though maybe I'm just being paranoid? :|

Scrawler
05-23-2008, 09:41 AM
A number of beaches in California have banned smoking- Solana, San Clemente, Santa Monica, Malibu.

Dario D.
05-23-2008, 09:55 AM
A number of beaches in California have banned smoking- Solana, San Clemente, Santa Monica, Malibu.
YES!!

I should have added that to my list: Don't throw cigarette butts in the sand. Makes me sick to see them sitting around me.


What about beachcombing? When I was a kid and went to the beach, I loved collecting shells. After reading this thread, though, I'm a little concerned that this might be bad for the environment in some way. Though maybe I'm just being paranoid? :|
I wouldn't suspect that there's anything wrong with taking unoccupied shells. I could be wrong, but it certainly won't annoy most people if they see you taking random objects home. (unless you're loading up a cooler full of live crabs or something)

Menyanthana
06-06-2008, 01:24 PM
Oh pish-posh. That's exactly why women wear such skimpy clothing - they love the attention.

Right?



Right?


No. They want a nice suntan, and that is not possible with too many clothes on.
At least that would be my reason to behave like this. I don't want to be stared at, even if I am not wearing a bikini top. (Which never happened. However, if it should happen, I don't want to be stared at)



Regarding children and bikini tops...err...haven't more or less all children seen at least the breasts of one woman naked?
Some people are funny.