When are you all grown up?

paprikapink · May 5, 2008

Katie's thread has inspired me to wonder what constitutes a grown-up?

For me, I think my husband said it most clearly when he had the job of taking our beloved old dog for her final trip to the vet: "This is when you know you're a grown-up."

Yeah, a grown-up is someone who can be counted on to do the exceedingly difficult things that have to be done.

But by this rubric I may not qualify...and yet I'm often more "grown up" than he is. Maybe cuz' I don't get the giggles when I see boobs unexpectedly?

CaroGirl · May 5, 2008

Being a grown up does have something to do with chronological age, at least in terms of societal expectations. However, I don't think I really felt like a "grown up" until I'd finished school, and had a job and my own place. I guess I was around 24 or 25? Now I have so many responsibilities I don't have time to even contemplate, in any metaphysical, navel-gazing way, whether I'm a grown up.

slcboston · May 5, 2008

The moment I realized that, no matter how much I may try, I can't fix everything my daughter asks me to.

johnnysannie · May 5, 2008

When each person is "grown-up" depends on the individual.

Some people never grow up until there is a need to be a grown-up.

Some events that sometimes take a person over the hump, so to speak, include
first real job
first home of your own (rented or not)
first serious relationship
first time you bury someone very close to you (parent, grandparent, best friend, etc)

Just some of the things - there are many.

Jcomp · May 5, 2008

When I first started paying bills, I knew. And I've hated it ever since.

Seaclusion · May 5, 2008

I think there's more than one thing that make one grown up.

Doing things you don't want to do because 'others' need it done.
Looking beyond the immediate and seeing how your actions will affect those around you.
Going without something because others may need it more than you.

I guess it is when you can see beyond yourself as the most important thing in the universe and consider others needs,feelings,safety,desires before your own. In other words becomming a contributing member of society instead of a taker.

Richard

maestrowork · May 5, 2008

When I learned to love someone unconditionally without asking for anything back, I knew I finally grew up.

Jersey Chick · May 5, 2008

Putting someone else's needs above your wants. I realized I was a grown up a year ago this winter when my son was up all night with a fever and I sat up the entire night with him, just because he needed me to rock him. At first, I just wanted to go to sleep badly - but as the night wore on, I seemed to get more awake. And, looking back, it was a good night (despite my son being so sick) because it was just the two of us, sharing one of the most peaceful moments ever. He snuggled up and slept comfy - and I just sat there and watched him sleep - which would be creepy under most circumstances, but not then.

Tink · May 5, 2008

Not today, maybe tomorrow....

quickWit · May 5, 2008

I'll let you know as soon as I actually feel like one.

mscelina · May 5, 2008

Never.

paprikapink · May 5, 2008

As mom of two kids -- 10 and 13 -- who can't wait to be grown up and, as an adult who distinctly remembers the same feelings when I was a kid, I want to hear more from the "I don't want to grow up" people. I know it's mostly jest, at least I think it is, but can you peel down a layer and describe what you're wanting to stick to, or avoid?

I mean, yeah, being the one to take the dog to be put to sleep (for instance) is not something a person actively seeks as a future. So, is it that you want to always be the one who's considered incapable of handling that (or a similar) responsibility?

I guess I'm challenging this "I don't want to grow up" claim...I see the appeal, but I think it's got holes.

Seaclusion · May 5, 2008

For those that don't want to grow up there are always monster truck rallys.

Richard

Priene · May 5, 2008

A few years ago, in the space of just two years, I bought a house, watched my father die, got married and had a child....

...and I still didn't feel grown up, damn it.

James81 · May 5, 2008

I'm reading a book right now (lol when am I NOT reading a book?):

Don't grow old, grow up! by Dorothy Carnegie (Dale Carnegie's, the father of self-help books, daughter).

So far I'm loving it. I agree with the viewpoint wholeheartedly and it sort of applies to this thread. I recommend it even after reading only 3 chapters.

ChaosTitan · May 5, 2008

paprikapink said:
For me, I think my husband said it most clearly when he had the job of taking our beloved old dog for her final trip to the vet: "This is when you know you're a grown-up."

Yeah, a grown-up is someone who can be counted on to do the exceedingly difficult things that have to be done.

By this measure (and I think it's a good one), I was a grown-up at sixteen, when I had to make the choice to take my ailing cat to the vet and have him put down. His kidneys were failing, and he could have made it a few more days, but he was just so sick....it was the hardest decision I'd ever had to make on my own.

pconsidine · May 5, 2008

I've had most of the experiences that would be thought of as being grown-up (work, bills, marriage, caring for children, divorce), but I still don't think of myself as one. but I'm pretty sure I'll feel like one when my grandmother finally passes. Although at this rate, it's looking like she'll outlive me by a few years at least.

If only someone could bottle the power of an Italian grudge. We'd all be immortal.

Angelinity · May 5, 2008

i never really grew up. how high is up?

i suddenly grew, though -- or shrank?

apparently 'insignificant' or seemingly well-meaning decisions and enactins really can change YOU -- and not only. i'm sure, had i stumbled upon this kind of statement 'before' it would have meant nothing to me. so never mind.

KTC · May 5, 2008

I'm never going to grow up. That's been my plan all along and I'm sticking to it. It seems to be working.

akiwiguy · May 5, 2008

Haven't figured it personally, but something to do with one's relative displacement from the centre of the universe I suspect.

melaniehoo · May 5, 2008

I still don't think of myself as a grown up but one thing did cross my mind:

You're a grown up when you get irritated at a teenager (not your own child) not treating you with respect.

paprikapink · May 5, 2008

melaniehoo said:
I still don't think of myself as a grown up but one thing did cross my mind:

You're a grown up when you get irritated at a teenager (not your own child) not treating you with respect.

I think that's when you're on your way. There's another stage after that where you either know what they're going through and you meet them where they are, or you're just so scary they don't even mess. That's the one I wanna get to!

maestrowork · May 5, 2008

growing up doesn't mean you have to stop being young at heart or continuing to see the world with fresh wonderment and imagination.

KTC · May 5, 2008

Yeah, Ray... whatever. What's your glitch? Here... I happen to represent the lollipop guild... I would like you to have a lolly. Have fun with it, you crazy kook. But please, don't get it stuck in your hair.

Kevin, who can eat dishes and pay bills.

Cranky · May 5, 2008

I've felt like a grown-up for a very long time. At this rate, I feel like a grandmother, for the most part.

The batty one, though. Not the cookie-baking kind. (Though I do love cookies...oh *&%!)

When are you all grown up?

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