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paprikapink
05-05-2008, 07:29 PM
Katie's thread has inspired me to wonder what constitutes a grown-up?

For me, I think my husband said it most clearly when he had the job of taking our beloved old dog for her final trip to the vet: "This is when you know you're a grown-up."

Yeah, a grown-up is someone who can be counted on to do the exceedingly difficult things that have to be done.

But by this rubric I may not qualify...and yet I'm often more "grown up" than he is. Maybe cuz' I don't get the giggles when I see boobs unexpectedly?

CaroGirl
05-05-2008, 07:37 PM
Being a grown up does have something to do with chronological age, at least in terms of societal expectations. However, I don't think I really felt like a "grown up" until I'd finished school, and had a job and my own place. I guess I was around 24 or 25? Now I have so many responsibilities I don't have time to even contemplate, in any metaphysical, navel-gazing way, whether I'm a grown up.

slcboston
05-05-2008, 07:40 PM
The moment I realized that, no matter how much I may try, I can't fix everything my daughter asks me to.

johnnysannie
05-05-2008, 07:45 PM
When each person is "grown-up" depends on the individual.

Some people never grow up until there is a need to be a grown-up.

Some events that sometimes take a person over the hump, so to speak, include
first real job
first home of your own (rented or not)
first serious relationship
first time you bury someone very close to you (parent, grandparent, best friend, etc)

Just some of the things - there are many.

Jcomp
05-05-2008, 07:58 PM
When I first started paying bills, I knew. And I've hated it ever since.

Seaclusion
05-05-2008, 08:01 PM
I think there's more than one thing that make one grown up.

Doing things you don't want to do because 'others' need it done.
Looking beyond the immediate and seeing how your actions will affect those around you.
Going without something because others may need it more than you.

I guess it is when you can see beyond yourself as the most important thing in the universe and consider others needs,feelings,safety,desires before your own. In other words becomming a contributing member of society instead of a taker.

Richard

maestrowork
05-05-2008, 08:11 PM
When I learned to love someone unconditionally without asking for anything back, I knew I finally grew up.

Jersey Chick
05-05-2008, 08:22 PM
Putting someone else's needs above your wants. I realized I was a grown up a year ago this winter when my son was up all night with a fever and I sat up the entire night with him, just because he needed me to rock him. At first, I just wanted to go to sleep badly - but as the night wore on, I seemed to get more awake. And, looking back, it was a good night (despite my son being so sick) because it was just the two of us, sharing one of the most peaceful moments ever. He snuggled up and slept comfy - and I just sat there and watched him sleep - which would be creepy under most circumstances, but not then.

Tink
05-05-2008, 08:24 PM
Not today, maybe tomorrow....:D

quickWit
05-05-2008, 08:25 PM
I'll let you know as soon as I actually feel like one.

mscelina
05-05-2008, 08:28 PM
Never.

paprikapink
05-05-2008, 09:49 PM
As mom of two kids -- 10 and 13 -- who can't wait to be grown up and, as an adult who distinctly remembers the same feelings when I was a kid, I want to hear more from the "I don't want to grow up" people. I know it's mostly jest, at least I think it is, but can you peel down a layer and describe what you're wanting to stick to, or avoid?

I mean, yeah, being the one to take the dog to be put to sleep (for instance) is not something a person actively seeks as a future. So, is it that you want to always be the one who's considered incapable of handling that (or a similar) responsibility?

I guess I'm challenging this "I don't want to grow up" claim...I see the appeal, but I think it's got holes.

Seaclusion
05-05-2008, 09:58 PM
For those that don't want to grow up there are always monster truck rallys.

Richard

Priene
05-05-2008, 11:23 PM
A few years ago, in the space of just two years, I bought a house, watched my father die, got married and had a child....

...and I still didn't feel grown up, damn it.

James81
05-05-2008, 11:25 PM
I'm reading a book right now (lol when am I NOT reading a book?):

Don't grow old, grow up! by Dorothy Carnegie (Dale Carnegie's, the father of self-help books, daughter).

So far I'm loving it. I agree with the viewpoint wholeheartedly and it sort of applies to this thread. I recommend it even after reading only 3 chapters.

ChaosTitan
05-05-2008, 11:30 PM
For me, I think my husband said it most clearly when he had the job of taking our beloved old dog for her final trip to the vet: "This is when you know you're a grown-up."

Yeah, a grown-up is someone who can be counted on to do the exceedingly difficult things that have to be done.


By this measure (and I think it's a good one), I was a grown-up at sixteen, when I had to make the choice to take my ailing cat to the vet and have him put down. His kidneys were failing, and he could have made it a few more days, but he was just so sick....it was the hardest decision I'd ever had to make on my own.

pconsidine
05-06-2008, 12:52 AM
I've had most of the experiences that would be thought of as being grown-up (work, bills, marriage, caring for children, divorce), but I still don't think of myself as one. but I'm pretty sure I'll feel like one when my grandmother finally passes. Although at this rate, it's looking like she'll outlive me by a few years at least.

If only someone could bottle the power of an Italian grudge. We'd all be immortal.

Angelinity
05-06-2008, 01:10 AM
i never really grew up. how high is up?

i suddenly grew, though -- or shrank?

apparently 'insignificant' or seemingly well-meaning decisions and enactins really can change YOU -- and not only. i'm sure, had i stumbled upon this kind of statement 'before' it would have meant nothing to me. so never mind.

KTC
05-06-2008, 01:11 AM
I'm never going to grow up. That's been my plan all along and I'm sticking to it. It seems to be working.

akiwiguy
05-06-2008, 01:15 AM
Haven't figured it personally, but something to do with one's relative displacement from the centre of the universe I suspect.

melaniehoo
05-06-2008, 01:20 AM
I still don't think of myself as a grown up but one thing did cross my mind:

You're a grown up when you get irritated at a teenager (not your own child) not treating you with respect.

paprikapink
05-06-2008, 06:29 AM
I still don't think of myself as a grown up but one thing did cross my mind:

You're a grown up when you get irritated at a teenager (not your own child) not treating you with respect.

I think that's when you're on your way. There's another stage after that where you either know what they're going through and you meet them where they are, or you're just so scary they don't even mess. That's the one I wanna get to!

maestrowork
05-06-2008, 07:34 AM
growing up doesn't mean you have to stop being young at heart or continuing to see the world with fresh wonderment and imagination.

KTC
05-06-2008, 07:40 AM
Yeah, Ray... whatever. What's your glitch? Here... I happen to represent the lollipop guild... I would like you to have a lolly. Have fun with it, you crazy kook. But please, don't get it stuck in your hair.


Kevin, who can eat dishes and pay bills.

Cranky
05-06-2008, 07:44 AM
I've felt like a grown-up for a very long time. At this rate, I feel like a grandmother, for the most part.

The batty one, though. Not the cookie-baking kind. (Though I do love cookies...oh *&%!)

KTC
05-06-2008, 07:47 AM
Oops. Forgot... Here you go

http://gonemovies.com/WWW/MyWebFilms/Drama/WizardLollipop.jpg

poetinahat
05-06-2008, 07:50 AM
When you start doing chores before they need to be done.

I'm safe.

[ETA: Dang, Kevin! A Flock of Seagulls meets Hee Haw.]

Cranky
05-06-2008, 07:50 AM
Hey! You, you...you swiped my avatar!!!!

Avatar thief! That's why I'm stuck with this tu-tu wearing hair disaster.

*muttermuttergrumblegrumble*

KTC
05-06-2008, 07:53 AM
When you start doing chores before they need to be done.

I'm safe.

[ETA: Dang, Kevin! A Flock of Seagulls meets Hee Haw.]


Sure... attack the messenger. Not like those fellas haven't been handin' out suckers for generations already. Geez Louise!


And, yes... the chores thing. But what if we are just tidy kids?

maestrowork
05-06-2008, 07:53 AM
Yeah, Ray... whatever. What's your glitch? Here... I happen to represent the lollipop guild... I would like you to have a lolly. Have fun with it, you crazy kook. But please, don't get it stuck in your hair.


Kevin, who can eat dishes and pay bills.

Bite me.

KTC
05-06-2008, 07:54 AM
Hey! You, you...you swiped my avatar!!!!

Avatar thief! That's why I'm stuck with this tu-tu wearing hair disaster.

*muttermuttergrumblegrumble*


Please take your pick.

KTC
05-06-2008, 07:55 AM
Bite me.


I'd rather kick ya, if you really wanna know. In the chin. And run... I'd run like a she-devil in a wading pool.

Cranky
05-06-2008, 07:57 AM
Please take your pick.

Tough call, that.

Plastic winged hair, or the tu-tu? Decisions, decisions....

poetinahat
05-06-2008, 07:59 AM
Sure... attack the messenger. Not like those fellas haven't been handin' out suckers for generations already. Geez Louise!


And, yes... the chores thing. But what if we are just tidy kids?
Tidy is different. Tidy kids are A-OK.

I'm talking about, y'know, "Spring Cleaning", rotating tyres and mattresses (not between the two, of course), buying your own cemetery plot - that kind of thing.

You've got to be a grown-up to do extra housework on purpose.

This reminds me of a great Roz Chast comic. It shows an Adult Book Store - in the window are books like "Understand Your Tax".

KTC
05-06-2008, 07:59 AM
Tough call, that.

Plastic winged hair, or the tu-tu? Decisions, decisions....


You meant to say plastic winged hair or hairsprayed winged hair and tu-tu... I'm almost sure of it.

KTC
05-06-2008, 08:02 AM
Tidy is different. Tidy kids are A-OK.

I'm talking about, y'know, "Spring Cleaning", rotating tyres and mattresses (not between the two, of course), buying your own cemetery plot - that kind of thing.

You've got to be a grown-up to do extra housework on purpose.

This reminds me of a great Roz Chast comic. It shows an Adult Book Store - in the window are books like "Understand Your Tax".


Yay! I'm not a grown up. I brought 2 years of taxes into the tax lady the other day... times me, my wife and my daughter... all in one big pile. She ALMOST screamed. I had my finger on the 911 button... well, I would have... but I couldn't find it. It goes right from 9 to 0 and # and *. There is no 911. If there was, I would have been all over it. And I don't have a plot... I want to be buried on a pirate ship. Because, you know, I was born on a pirate ship.

KTC
05-06-2008, 08:03 AM
PS... is it bad for a writer not to have a plot? It sounds like a deadend dark corner kind of trouble?

paprikapink
05-06-2008, 08:06 AM
I was born in the back seat of a greyhound bus.

paprikapink
05-06-2008, 08:07 AM
PS... is it bad for a writer not to have a plot? It sounds like a deadend dark corner kind of trouble?

Yes, it's quite bad. Bad. I'm concerned for your welfare now.

poetinahat
05-06-2008, 08:07 AM
You, sir, *are* a plot, if not THE plot.

Hey, wait - you were born on a pirate ship? Then maybe you can tell me: what's up with this "sixteen men on a dead man's chest"? That just seems weird.

Yarrrrrr, Jim lad.

paprikapink
05-06-2008, 08:08 AM
I'm talking about, y'know, "Spring Cleaning", rotating tyres and mattresses (not between the two, of course)....

Not? You're sure? Uh-oh. Wish you'd mentioned this last week.

Cranky
05-06-2008, 08:09 AM
You meant to say plastic winged hair or hairsprayed winged hair and tu-tu... I'm almost sure of it.

*backs away slowly*

Yeah, I did. How did you know that?!






:D

KTC
05-06-2008, 08:13 AM
You, sir, *are* a plot, if not THE plot.

Hey, wait - you were born on a pirate ship? Then maybe you can tell me: what's up with this "sixteen men on a dead man's chest"? That just seems weird.

Yarrrrrr, Jim lad.

They were acrobats. It was one time. It was raining. They were wearing dainty little Chinese slippers and didn't want to get the soles wet, lest they slip during their pyramid finale. So they balanced in an inverted pyramid atop the pirate's chest. One time... big fine whoop... and they make a whole ta-do about it like it's some frickin' special magic whoop! I once stood on my head for an hour to avoid a shark bite... did they make up a drinking song about that? Noooooooooooooooo.

Joycecwilliams
05-06-2008, 09:25 AM
When I learned to love someone unconditionally without asking for anything back, I knew I finally grew up.

That is a great answer..

Joycecwilliams
05-06-2008, 09:35 AM
PS... is it bad for a writer not to have a plot? It sounds like a deadend dark corner kind of trouble?

I want to get cremated and have my ashes put into fireworks.. or made into diamonds... I don't want to be in plot. Do I still need to buy one/??

poetinahat
05-06-2008, 09:41 AM
They were acrobats. It was one time. It was raining. They were wearing dainty little Chinese slippers and didn't want to get the soles wet, lest they slip during their pyramid finale. So they balanced in an inverted pyramid atop the pirate's chest. One time... big fine whoop... and they make a whole ta-do about it like it's some frickin' special magic whoop! I once stood on my head for an hour to avoid a shark bite... did they make up a drinking song about that? Noooooooooooooooo.
Yeah. Darn Cirque du Soleil privateers. Keelhaul 'em!

kct webber
05-06-2008, 10:16 AM
All the stupid shit you do has a metaphysical critical mass. When you reach it... BOOM! You're grown up.

Or you go to prison. One or the other. *shrugs*

johnnysannie
05-06-2008, 02:44 PM
growing up doesn't mean you have to stop being young at heart or continuing to see the world with fresh wonderment and imagination.

That's so true. And so often people think if you're grown up, you lose all that and you don't have to.

EriRae
05-06-2008, 05:20 PM
I entered the world of grown-ups when I ditched the Geo Metro for a Monte Carlo and got my first credit card. Premium gas and monthly bills. Let's just say I'm not the smartest grown-up ever.

paprikapink
05-06-2008, 05:34 PM
You could be on to something here, Erin. I do think tire size has something to do with it.