The Whining Thread

Mr Underhill · Apr 2, 2005

♫This is the whining thread
The thread in which to whine,
While all the little children sleep...♫

(My apologies to Mr Nick Cave for mucking up the rhyme.)

C'mon, you know you wanna. And since we all know the judges were absolutely corrupt, having been bought off with brownies and batteries and trips to the opthalmologist; you need a place where you can vent about how your submission was unfairly overlooked, and how people just didn't get it, and how we'll all be sorry one day...

:Soapbox:

Oh, and any malicious gossip about how so-and-so only won because of sexual favors/cash changing hands/secret bavarian cabals also belongs here. Better to keep it all on one thread than surreptitiously popping up all over the rest of the joint, what?

[highlight]WARNING:[/highlight] Anything posted in this thread from here on in should be considered complete and utter BS. Read and post at your own risk.

CACTUSWENDY · Apr 2, 2005

...Been meaning to ask you. Are you a real burglar? (Inquiring minds want to know)....

Mark Anderson · Apr 3, 2005

I think we all know the scam, and I think it's very underhanded of Jenna to try and pull it. This board only has 4 real members, all other IDs are Jenna's pseudonyms.

Yeah, congrats "Winners". Or should I say "Jennas"?

Hmph.

zeprosnepsid · Apr 3, 2005

I didn't feel there was much variation in style in the winners. Not that all their work isn't great but it's almost all dramatic realism. I don't read realism. I would have liked a solid non-fiction (none of them were non-fiction right? if they were they seemed to be personal essays) or a science fiction/fantasy or comedy. This bothers me much more than not being chosen, because it makes me uninterested in the competition.

That's my one whine. I do think the writers are good, but they're not the kind of thing I like (for the most part). I hope the weekly writing assignments have good topics....

paprikapink · Apr 3, 2005

Mark Anderson said:
I think we all know the scam, and I think it's very underhanded of Jenna to try and pull it. This board only has 4 real members, all other IDs are Jenna's pseudonyms.

Yeah, congrats "Winners". Or should I say "Jennas"?

Hmph.

What really sucks is that I have to be one of the four actual members -- what I really want to be is a Jenna.

Rats.

-paprikapink

scullars · Apr 3, 2005

Oh well, guess I didn't lace my brownies with enough hashish. Ooops... (looks around furtively for those who might snitch her out...then sighs with relief as she sees everyone's still buzzing from her grandma's favorite treats)

Torin · Apr 3, 2005

Ohhhhhhh! I was supposed to SHARE the rum. Whoops. :Smack: My bad.

*making note to self for next year*

:Coffee:

Lilybiz · Apr 3, 2005

Hi everyone. I've been an AbsoluteWrite reader for a few years, but I'm new to posting.

I was just saying this to another member last night:
I think there were a lot of posts that merited inclusion in the winners' circle, but the very nature of an arts contest reflects art itself: meaning, it's subjective. The winners are bound to reflect the taste of the judges, and I agree that there's not a lot of variation in genre. But hey--when you submit to a publication you're trying to appeal to the tastes of the powers that be in the editorial office, so it's much the same thing.

There are a lot of good writers on this board, and a lot of good writers in the finals. It'll be fun to watch the rest of the contest.

Obviously I'm a newbie, or I'd have been a winner, right? I just wasn't sure who to send the cash and chocolate to.

Mr Underhill · Apr 3, 2005

CACTUSWENDY said:
...Been meaning to ask you. Are you a real burglar? (Inquiring minds want to know)....

Define "real."

Samm · Apr 3, 2005

Sure, I'll admit it: I was disappointed not to be on either list. Until I had time to think about the next stages of the competition. Suddenly, I was feeling relieved! I've been in such a writing funk for so long now, I probably would have pulled a "Mario Vazquez" or else feigned 10 broken fingers (the writer's equivalent of an American Idol contestant faking laryngitis).

I definitely plan to check out Jenna's book, "Outwitting Writer's Block." I don't remember the last batch of "new stuff" I cranked out.

I feel like I keep

and I'm ready to

. (Want some cheese with this whine?)

I haven't had any reading time today, so I can't offer any coments about similar genre choices by the judges. I do know that I started jotting a list of favs as I read the first 200 entries, and only 3 on my list of 25 were finalists and 1 an HM. And I still have a lot of the last 108 entries still to read!

This first stage was definitely a time-consuming contest, and it is understandable that there was a delay from the judges. I'm glad I entered, and now I'm glad I didn't win (too much work to continue, too little time!). Isn't that

?

Mr Underhill · Apr 3, 2005

Get this thread in gear

Right, just need to get up a good bellyful of bile and cut loose. Allow me to demonstrate. My cue, please.

ImaginaryStraightman said:
trips to the opthalmologist?

Yes, trips to the opthalmologist, because those judges are blind, BLIND! I say if they are unable to see the elaborate genius of my work from that sample. CLEARLY they were not able to THINK OUTSIDE THE BOX and merely took the writing at face value without recognizing the DEEPER SIGNIFICANCE!!! Which is OBVIOUS to anyone who can decipher the cryptic clues I left in the narrative and dialogue! ANYONE with HALF A BRAIN would be able to see the group dynamics in nascent form, and the QUESTIONING of narrative CONVENTION!?! That demonstrate how the story will develop over the next 100 paGES! GENIUS! PURE UNREFINED GENIUS I SAY! Why do they not see that this seemingly benign and predictable text is in fact a TRAP that will spring on the reader 89 PAGES HENCE??? Why, it will clearly UPSET the APPLECART and turn everything upside down! ANY FOOL can see that this work will redefine the Victorian/Edwardian house-party-detective genre for DECADES TO COME!!!!!!!

And don't get me started on DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME! What a barbaric custom. Whose bright idea was this? Blind SLAVERY to the clock for its own sake. It's straight out of the DARK AGES! Savagery! A COMMUNIST PLOT from Torquemada's DUNGEONS if you ask me!!!!!....
______________________________________

Hoo. Yes, I feel much better now.

sharon · Apr 3, 2005

It's because I cross-border shop and buy all your cheese, isn't it? Well, I have news for you... cheese goes well with whine! Wine goes well with... everything! I'm having some now, as a matter of fact. I like it. I like your cheese, too. I'm going to continue to shop 'over there', and eat cheese, and drink wine. Next year, I might just enter a cook book! It will showcase what US cheese goes with Canuck whine! (Hey, that actually might be a good idea).

(love you guys)

brokenfingers · Apr 3, 2005

I agree Mr. Underhill!

I especially liked the way you set up the inner conflict that would be played out on page 147!

And those characters!! Brilliant! I agree it was a shame that the 700 word limit did not allow you the room to introduce them in your piece but nonetheless - I could practically smell them lurking off the end of the page!

Bravo my good man, bravo...

Mr Underhill · Apr 3, 2005

brokenfingers said:
I especially liked the way you set up the inner conflict that would be played out on page 147!

At last, someone who understands the trials of the true artiste!

Sarita · Apr 3, 2005

Mr Underhill said:
ANYONE with HALF A BRAIN

Ouch. Am I allowed in here?

mommie4a · Apr 3, 2005

SARA! We love you - of course you're allowed here, but you have to whine about something, ok? (Not much brain is needed for whining, although really good whining is definitely an art form, as Mr. Underhill has shown.)

WhisperingBard · Apr 3, 2005

SARA! We love you - of course you're allowed here, but you have to whine about something, ok?

Considering the *many, many* hours she spent poring over all the entries, whining shouldn't be too hard a task.

Come on, Sara, you're entitled!

Sarita · Apr 3, 2005

Oh man! Do I have to whine about something? Okay, I have a good one... I DIDN'T GET ENOUGH REP POINTS FOR READING ALL THOSE ENTRIES. What are you a bunch of meanies? Seriously, we poured over all those entries, it was not an easy task. The least you could do is hit me up with some hard core rep points!!!! Come on people!!

(how was that?

)

Sarita · Apr 3, 2005

mommie4a said:
SARA! We love you

YAY! I love you all too!

WhisperingBard · Apr 3, 2005

(how was that? )

(pretty darn good)

Mr Underhill · Apr 3, 2005

Saritams8 said:
I DIDN'T GET ENOUGH REP POINTS FOR READING ALL THOSE ENTRIES....

(how was that? )

Mmmm, not a bad start. I'd like to see where you're going with this. What's your motivation? Emotion – Angry? Depressed? Deranged? Perhaps a little physicality, try throwing something, maybe.

brokenfingers · Apr 3, 2005

I think we've found our next Simon...

jdkiggins · Apr 3, 2005

Samm said:
Until I had time to think about the next stages of the competition.

Wait! What do you mean next stages? :Shrug:

(too much work to continue, too little time!). Isn't that

?

OMG you're right! :Hammer:

WhisperingBard · Apr 3, 2005

OMG you're right!

Who's got the Xanax?

Lilybiz · Apr 3, 2005

Get this thread in gear

Mr Underhill said:
Right, just need to get up a good bellyful of bile and cut loose. Allow me to demonstrate. ... those judges are blind, BLIND!]

You're right, Mr. Underhill. Okay, okay, I admit it! I was disappointed! I thought I could waltz in here, a newbie, and dazzle the judges with my amazing work. "Wow, isn't she fabulous? Such talent, such imagination, such a way with words! She'll revolutionize fiction as we know it!"

Since that didn't happen I'm quite sure it's only because the judges were, as Mr. Underhill mentioned, unable to think outside the box. I tell myself this because I really wanted to win.

I sent Saritam some points anyway, even though I don't have the faintest idea how they work or how to find out if I have any (I don't need any silly old points, or sour old grapes for that matter) because yeah, okay, they didn't choose my piece but geez, that had to be hard work.

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