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Old 01-19-2008, 10:13 PM   #151
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I don't think any woman knows how a throbbing manhood feels or looks because we simply don't have one. Generally. We know how "we" throb but that's for a different time and I really need to get my mind out the gutter. It's a regular there.......
Oh believe me it can throb. You don't really see it throb but I can assure you a man can FEEL it throb!
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Old 01-19-2008, 10:17 PM   #152
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Old 01-20-2008, 06:26 AM   #153
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I once had to explain to an author that readers of a certain age would not find "love canal" to be at all sexy. Quite the opposite.

My favorite ever, which I obviously had to delete, was "his tentacles of arousal moved in and out of the abyss of love." Wrong on so many levels.
Tentacles? More than one? I'm so confused.
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Old 01-20-2008, 08:20 AM   #154
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Tentacles? More than one? I'm so confused.
I just took it on faith that she was talking about fingers, but I'll admit I was traumatized.
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Old 01-21-2008, 02:49 AM   #155
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Smile
Oh, boy, you guys made my night (I was furious with myself for having done more housework than writing this weekend, for no good reason - I'm now feeling no more productive but a lot more cheerful).

I think Purple Helmeted Warrior is my favourite - there's got to be a "war in the trenches" gag in there somewhere....

And as for this:

Quote:
Originally Posted by absitinvidia View Post
My favorite ever, which I obviously had to delete, was "his tentacles of arousal moved in and out of the abyss of love." Wrong on so many levels.
Makes me think of the sadly defunct Cthulhu Sex webzine.

I should really go to sleep. But thank you!
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Old 01-22-2008, 11:18 PM   #156
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Damn, I killed the thread...I feel bad now....
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Old 01-22-2008, 11:27 PM   #157
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Plunged....lol. It reminds me of unstopping a toilet.

Of course I guess that's a turn on for some.
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Old 01-22-2008, 11:47 PM   #158
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People grabbing anything. Especially fistfuls of anything. That just sounds painful. And sort of greedy, as well.
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Old 01-24-2008, 09:17 PM   #159
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Originally Posted by rhymegirl View Post
Oprah calls it that.
Which, frankly, does NOT lend the term "va-jay-jay" credibility. I don't care if Mother Theresa called hers that, as terms go that's right up there with calling a penis a "pee-pee." Even if it is being used by grown ups.

Seriously, if you want to talk about your vagina, why not just call it that? Wasn't that the whole point of the "vagina monologues" in the first place, that as terms go it needs to be de-stigmatized? How does reducing it to a toddler's gibberish help with that?

(And if any woman ever refers to it as such during the course of sex, the night's over. Because I'm on the floor, LMAO. )
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Old 01-24-2008, 09:22 PM   #160
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I had a real problem with "The Vagina Monologues," though. They were calling anything in the general region "vagina," when that's simply not the case in terms of clinical anatomy. While I like the idea of destigmatizing the word, I thought the play's contribution to an incorrect understanding of what it means undercut the effort and then some.

Maryn, who has now vowed never to say "va-jay-jay" in the throes of passion
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Old 01-25-2008, 01:08 AM   #161
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I am still a green horn in this genre but I can't bring myself to use the C word to describe that area female anatomy (I am guy) I don't even say it, and it is so popular in some of the online erotica I read. Its just crude and for me in poor taste, I am criticizing anyone else its just not for me.

my second one is 'ploughing' as in he was ploughing her - makes it sound like a chore: 'Well after I finish ploughing I am heading in for supper and sit by the fire' Hardly evokes the right sort of imagery does it?
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Old 01-25-2008, 01:45 AM   #162
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I had a real problem with "The Vagina Monologues," though. They were calling anything in the general region "vagina," when that's simply not the case in terms of clinical anatomy. While I like the idea of destigmatizing the word, I thought the play's contribution to an incorrect understanding of what it means undercut the effort and then some.

Maryn, who has now vowed never to say "va-jay-jay" in the throes of passion
Kind of OT, but I was watching one of those sex-change documentaries a week or so ago, and the post-op patient, who now had ladyparts, actually said, "I haven't peed yet through my vagina, so I don't know what that will be like."

Seriously, they had NO IDEA that women do not actually pee through the vagina. Someone had to explain it. (And aside from anything else, I really thought if they were going to give him ladyparts, you'd think they would have gone over their basic structure and function first.)

So yeah, referring to the entire vulva as a vagina is not a good idea. (And I hate the word "vulva". Ech.)
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Old 01-25-2008, 01:47 AM   #163
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Which, frankly, does NOT lend the term "va-jay-jay" credibility. I don't care if Mother Theresa called hers that, as terms go that's right up there with calling a penis a "pee-pee." Even if it is being used by grown ups.
I agree.

I was only mentioning the fact that Oprah calls it that. Some women may have heard her say it and decided to borrow the term.

She's not setting a good example by resorting to babytalk.
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Old 01-25-2008, 04:43 AM   #164
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I have a friend from Jamaica who refers to her lover as a "sweet piece of rudeness." While not technically a term for anatomy, it slays me every time.
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Old 01-25-2008, 04:59 AM   #165
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Hmm... if someone's peeing out of their vagina, they might want to sit down and have a little chat with their surgeon. Somebody made a boo-boo.

Ugh - baby talk. If I ever call it a va-jay-jay, anyone in earshot has my permission to slug me. That's even squickier than biological terms.

Sweet piece of rudeness- that's killer... i like it
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Old 01-25-2008, 05:30 AM   #166
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Wink Mounted?
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Originally Posted by kristie911 View Post
Mounted.

I hate the word in just about any context though.

Well Kristie....I'll agree with you about 'mounted'..........mainly though, because of a joke I heard years ago.......

A man has two monkeys as pets........they are his long time pet companions.....he loves them like family............after 20 years, they both get sick and die at the same time.............the man is grief-stricken....and finally, after giving it a lot of thought.......he calls in a taxidermist to consult on having them displayed life-like in his living room.........

The Taxidermist walks in.....looks at the 2 dead monkeys.......looks at the man.....the man says 'I want to have them displayed right in here, up next to that wall there.'

The taxidermist looks at him and says, 'You want them mounted...'

'No!' the man says, '...just shaking hands will be fine...'
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Old 01-25-2008, 05:31 AM   #167
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and by the way............the word I can't stand.......is 'bulbous'
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Old 01-25-2008, 05:39 AM   #168
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I read this one about 5 minutes ago...
and I had to share it with you guys...

Engorged

...the funny part is, while I think its describing a penis...there isnt a penis in the scene...

???
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Old 01-25-2008, 05:53 AM   #169
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va-jay-jay and vullva are just too weird sounding........I don't think I want Oper teaching anyone about sex, or body parts.....or anything for that matter....

now, 'coochie'................there's a good word.......
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Old 01-25-2008, 06:41 AM   #170
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well..........I once described a guy....who was NOT too well-endowed as 'Thumb-penis'


but.......other words for the...ahem.....'ejaculate'....how about
'DNA'

'enjoyment juice'

'fun-seed'

well.......I guess you can see why I don't write erotica......besides....if I did.....I probably always be turned on...and I'd spend my days in bed......hunched over like a comma......pleasuring myself frantically...........
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Old 01-25-2008, 06:44 AM   #171
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It's also weird...............when people 'cleverly' name their pe-noos..........

the one I remember vividly...is 'little elvis'.........
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Old 01-25-2008, 07:42 AM   #172
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I read this one about 5 minutes ago...
and I had to share it with you guys...

Engorged

...the funny part is, while I think its describing a penis...there isnt a penis in the scene...

???
Shrug, there is erectile tissue in the clitoris, inner labia, and surrounding the outer third of the vagina. It engorges during arousal.
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Old 01-25-2008, 08:53 AM   #173
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Oprah's use of "va-jay-jay" is hysterical to me. I know a guy who goes by "J.J." who got a new nickname after that. Now he's named after Oprah's girl parts.
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Old 01-25-2008, 04:57 PM   #174
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It's also weird...............when people 'cleverly' name their pe-noos..........

the one I remember vividly...is 'little elvis'.........
and when little elvis is done, he can leave the building...

Thank you, thank you very much

LOL
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Old 01-25-2008, 11:00 PM   #175
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Does little elvis wear a rhinestone coat?
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