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Old 01-02-2008, 08:17 PM   #26
Jersey Chick
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In one book (that was soooo awful it was awful), it was described as a battering ram. All I could think was - How the hell did he get his pants on???
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Old 01-02-2008, 10:23 PM   #27
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In one book (that was soooo awful it was awful), it was described as a battering ram. All I could think was - How the hell did he get his pants on???
...and the walls came crumbling down...
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Old 01-02-2008, 11:20 PM   #28
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In one book (that was soooo awful it was awful), it was described as a battering ram. All I could think was - How the hell did he get his pants on???


That one made me laugh out loud. Classic.
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Old 01-03-2008, 12:44 AM   #29
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Plowed.

That just doesn't sound right at all.
Oddly enough, I really like the word "plowed" in a certain context - in the play Antony and Cleopatra, where someone is describing Caesar's relationship with Cleopatra. I think the exact line is, "He plowed her, and she cropped".
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Old 01-03-2008, 01:03 AM   #30
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Oddly enough, I really like the word "plowed" in a certain context - in the play Antony and Cleopatra, where someone is describing Caesar's relationship with Cleopatra. I think the exact line is, "He plowed her, and she cropped".
Yes, I was thinking along those lines. I'm pretty sure, without looking it up, that the word f**k was derived from a word meaning basically "to plough a field".

And on that thought, to be honest I think some of the most common vulgar words are, in the right context, real turn-on words for me. "Please f**k me." Simple, but it does it for me for some reason.
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Old 01-03-2008, 01:09 AM   #31
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When I was reading the Beauty trilogy, I had to stop and catch my breath from laughing the first time I read nether lips
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Old 01-03-2008, 01:14 AM   #32
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When I was reading the Beauty trilogy, I had to stop and catch my breath from laughing the first time I read nether lips
I always liked it, it's got a naughty underworld feel to it.
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Old 01-03-2008, 01:15 AM   #33
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Oddly enough, I really like the word "plowed" in a certain context - in the play Antony and Cleopatra, where someone is describing Caesar's relationship with Cleopatra. I think the exact line is, "He plowed her, and she cropped".
Till the fertile fields, just be aware some rows are tough to hoe.
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Old 01-03-2008, 01:59 AM   #34
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The thing about writing sex -- the same word/phrase/term that one person finds sexy, the next person will find disgusting, and the third find funny as all hell. It's tricky.
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Old 01-03-2008, 02:05 AM   #35
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Nothing really gags and disgusts me. Many things make me laugh. Particularly purple prose. I did a really funny set of dirty mad libs once, it was very very fun.
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Old 01-03-2008, 04:45 AM   #36
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Another word to call the penis is organ...and yeah, that is what they call it but to put it into an erotic novel for a man "to hold his organ and..." Well, you get it. Scientific words are turnoffs in my book, too.
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Old 01-03-2008, 04:49 AM   #37
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I don't like it in some books where the man talks really dirty to the woman. Like he's a horny virgin. Such a turnoff.
What about horny *****cker ?
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Old 01-03-2008, 05:05 AM   #38
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Nah, truelyana, this current book I'm reading the hero sounded like a horny virgin. He couldn't get to the woman fast enough, or stop touching. Was kind of uncomfortable for the woman if you ask me. Ha...I wanted to shut the book to give them some privacy.
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Old 01-03-2008, 05:35 AM   #39
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This thread is cracking me up. I thought battering ram was pretty much the end all - but I was wrong.

Hmm.... plowed seems a bit impersonal to me, but not really squicky. I think of that as a wham-bam-thank you-ma'am type roll, roll, roll in zee hay.
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Old 01-03-2008, 05:38 AM   #40
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Nah, truelyana, this current book I'm reading the hero sounded like a horny virgin. He couldn't get to the woman fast enough, or stop touching. Was kind of uncomfortable for the woman if you ask me. Ha...I wanted to shut the book to give them some privacy.
Fair enough, I quite like the sound of Horny virgin now to come to think of it. I understand if the story was making it sound uncomfortable for the woman, it's interesting when it does that. Brings the story to life.
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Old 01-03-2008, 05:41 AM   #41
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Throbbing manhood.

A manhood which throbs, makes me giggle.
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Old 01-03-2008, 05:43 AM   #42
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Throbbing manhood.

A manhood which throbs, makes me giggle.
That is kinda cute, in a laughable way.
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Old 01-03-2008, 05:47 AM   #43
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Ah yes, the ever present throbbing manhood. Am I the only one who pictures it pulsing, like a cartoon thumb when it gets whacked with a hammer (the thumb, not the manhood)? And has anyone actually ever seen a manhood throb? I image it'd freak the sh@t out of me.
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Old 01-03-2008, 06:05 AM   #44
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Spunk.

Or really, any of the other nicknames for sperm.

I enjoy the occasional erotica/romance, but its not Hustler, lets keep the trash words out of it.
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Old 01-03-2008, 08:32 AM   #45
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Gee, I don't have a problem with any particular word except for some of the sillier names for penis. "Man-rod" cracks me up.

But then, I've made heavy use of several of the ones you all hate or laugh at. Sigh...

Maryn, who hasn't sold anything in eons
Reminds me of one that cracks me up constantly "Love Muscle" There use to be a porn star named "Lance Love Muscle" I can't read anything that talks about his throbbing love muscle without thinking "what twit wrote this" geeze.... OMG I have to go wash now.....
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Old 01-03-2008, 08:34 AM   #46
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Hmmm, interesting word selections here. As for me, the number one turn-off word that cools my jets in a heartbeat is 'No'.
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Old 01-03-2008, 08:47 AM   #47
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As it should, brokenfingers.

Another word I came across that left my mouth dirty...

PRICK. ...as in another name for a man's thing.
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Old 01-03-2008, 09:46 AM   #48
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And has anyone actually ever seen a manhood throb? I image it'd freak the sh@t out of me.
No, and I hope I never do because, like you, I'd run the other way. Ick!
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Old 01-03-2008, 09:49 AM   #49
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being a man, and an athlete (locker room) i have had many an oppurtunity to see a manhood throb

and have yet to see one do it....so if you see one throb

i would suggest police investigation
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Old 01-03-2008, 09:55 AM   #50
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Imagine that in an episode of CSI
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