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Old 08-14-2009, 04:12 AM   #9776
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Yes! I just had one of those moments where the words just flow so naturally that it's like you are reading a book that is already written as you write it.
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Old 08-14-2009, 12:23 PM   #9777
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Yes! I just had one of those moments where the words just flow so naturally that it's like you are reading a book that is already written as you write it.
Don't be too surprised - or disappointed - if that same passage finishes up on the cutting room floor!
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Old 08-14-2009, 04:26 PM   #9778
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Can't remember which book, but I found this in a passage of dialogue:

"..."

Any opinions about this sort of thing? I would have said:

I said nothing or
I gave no reply or something.
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Old 08-14-2009, 06:36 PM   #9779
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Quote:
Originally Posted by euclid View Post
Can't remember which book, but I found this in a passage of dialogue:

"..."

Any opinions about this sort of thing? I would have said:

I said nothing or
I gave no reply or something.
I wouldn't have done it like that, but it's possible the author meant it to be an indication of a sigh or something else that was verbal but not a word. I just write it out. "Huu," or "Egh," when my characters make noises but some people are anti-"sound effect".

Also. It might be a typo. Perhaps something was meant to be inserted there and never got put in. Maybe. *shrugs*
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Old 08-14-2009, 08:22 PM   #9780
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I guess it was a style thing. It's common in anime/manga/comics. I think I saw it once in a really teen-y book.

I'm not a fan of sound-effects. Reading 'Egh' would probably make me laugh.
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Old 08-14-2009, 08:36 PM   #9781
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Quote:
Originally Posted by euclid View Post
Can't remember which book, but I found this in a passage of dialogue:

"..."

Any opinions about this sort of thing? I would have said:

I said nothing or
I gave no reply or something.
I usually just put something like:
Frank stared at Jim, wanting to speak, but unable to make any words.
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Old 08-14-2009, 08:43 PM   #9782
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I use "..." all the time.

Though, I also recognize that I use it because I am a highly uneducated writer. Call it part of my word vomit.

I was taught years ago that "..." can indicate a lengthier pause, or voice trailing off, or when a train of thought is broken by the narrator to switch to something else, or when someone is "cut off" during speaking. I was also told that it should be used when you don't want to take away from the other words on the page. I think maybe my creative writing teacher was on crack. Regardless, I listened too carefully and became hopelessly addicted.

Now it automatically pops in whenever I write. I know it's bad form, so I usually edit them all out. You will see them a ton though in my first drafts... I just can't seem to help throwing them in

ETA: I'm anal so I looked it up. For additional information, read ye: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ellipsis

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Old 08-14-2009, 09:30 PM   #9783
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Quote:
Originally Posted by euclid View Post
Can't remember which book, but I found this in a passage of dialogue:

"..."

Any opinions about this sort of thing? I would have said:

I said nothing or
I gave no reply or something.
Maybe it's for comic effect? I've seen this before and it makes me think of the *crickets chirp* where the silence is highlighted for comic effect.

OFF/NEW TOPIC: I just discovered some stories I wrote in high school and read through them... and they were good. Surprisingly so. In fact, better than some of my more recent writing attempts and I know the reason why: back then I read and wrote a lot more. I'm rusty.

It's both heartening (hey, I've got the goods!) and disheartening (oh, how I need to get back into writing regularly!) because the difference is really obvious.

I know most people look back at their old attempts and laugh at how bad they were and see how much they've improved since then, but have you ever experienced the opposite? After being away from writing for a while, do you ever look back and see that your writing then is better than your writing now?
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Old 08-14-2009, 09:39 PM   #9784
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"..."

I've seen this a lot in Manga when the character is at a loss for words.
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Old 08-14-2009, 09:43 PM   #9785
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I would have interpreted it as a lengthy pause, but agree, there are many ways to express it better.
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Old 08-15-2009, 04:58 AM   #9786
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There may be many ways to express it, but none of them are "wrong" so long as you're consistent and the reader isn't confused.

As to older writing being better, that's one of the reasons I suggest you age your current effort in a desk drawer for a few months before editing it. You'd be surprised how much leaving it aside for a bit improves the writing.
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Old 08-15-2009, 04:37 PM   #9787
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Originally Posted by mommyjo2 View Post
"..."

I've seen this a lot in Manga when the character is at a loss for words.

Yeah, and some of those quote marks have words in between them, and still don't say anything.
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Old 08-15-2009, 04:53 PM   #9788
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I'm reading FRANCIS CLIFFORD (1917-1975). If you're writing/reading thrillers, I couldn't recommend anyone better. Fantastic. Simple, strong plots, great prose.
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Old 08-15-2009, 04:55 PM   #9789
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I have some stuff I wrote at age 13 or so. All I can say is:

"..."
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Old 08-15-2009, 10:37 PM   #9790
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Thanks for the advice Uncle Jim - it's easier for me to just go ahead and keep writing, knowing that I can always come back to polish my work.

Quote:
Originally Posted by euclid View Post
I have some stuff I wrote at age 13 or so. All I can say is:

"..."
Don't get me wrong, my old writing is not genius by any means, but it's far better than I thought and doesn't suffer from some of the mistakes I'm making now.

It's strange: back when I didn't know about POV or other technical aspects of writing, I intuitively stuck to the rules (lots of reading I guess) whereas now that I am older and supposedly wiser, I find myself making simple mistakes that I didn't make back then.

I clearly have lots of work to do, but I'm actually excited about it.
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Old 08-16-2009, 02:01 AM   #9791
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Question

Hi everyone,

I'm looking for an opinion.

If you read in a story that a healer's assistant pulled out a black vial, what thoughts would come up?
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Old 08-16-2009, 03:44 AM   #9792
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Pulled a black vial out of what?

Death, sickness, some serious healing mojo, nefarious skullduggery... ink.
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Old 08-16-2009, 05:09 AM   #9793
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Quote:
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If you read in a story that a healer's assistant pulled out a black vial, what thoughts would come up?

The thoughts that you, as the author, wanted to come up.
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Old 08-16-2009, 05:12 AM   #9794
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Calliopenjo View Post
Hi everyone,

I'm looking for an opinion.

If you read in a story that a healer's assistant pulled out a black vial, what thoughts would come up?
Assistant took a glass vial of dark liquid from h/h pocket?

A black vial would mean that the vial was colored dark to hide what was inside.
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Old 08-16-2009, 05:52 AM   #9795
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Smile

Thanks guys. I appreciate your opinion.
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Old 08-16-2009, 06:30 PM   #9796
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Or, it was black because whatever was inside is light-sensitive. Or, it was black because they were all out of red vials at the store that morning. Or, it was black because black vials are a trademark of Frank Black's Soothing Syrup (one for man, two for beast, good for what ails you!) Or, it was black because that's the color-code for 5 dram vials. (10 dram vials are light blue; 15 dram vials are green.) Or, it was black because it was a sample (not for resale).

Better to ask why it's a vial rather than a phial.
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Old 08-16-2009, 07:07 PM   #9797
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Better to ask why it's a vial rather than a phial.
Because we're not Latins or Greeks.
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Old 08-16-2009, 11:28 PM   #9798
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I used the black vial as a way to mark the tonic inside as being used for death.

Quote:
Tobin took out from the shelf: three green vials of herbs used for infection, four brown vials of herbs used for internal parasites, and one red vial of herbs used for pain. The last one was the Black Vial. The dark container held a tonic to help patients pass from the living to the dead. After placing the vials on a tray, he gathered material to cut.
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Old 08-17-2009, 05:51 AM   #9799
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"The Black Vial?" Master Filbin asked.

"Yes. It seems needful."

"Waste of perfectly good Fly-spite." The master picked up a pillow and waggled it at his assistant. "If all you want to do is kill the daft bugger, this works just as well. Cheaper and faster, and no awkward explanations if someone sees you carrying it."
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Old 08-17-2009, 05:59 AM   #9800
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Cool

That's a good one. Thanks Uncle Jim.
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