"You are not a real writer yet, when:" or "Shit to look out for when writing"

[FONT=&quot]So, here are my 40 points with today’s afternoon coffee about shit [FONT=&quot]to lookout for[/FONT]. Mainly based on my personal journey and growth, and those of my writing buddies.
[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]Additions[FONT=&quot],[/FONT] [FONT=&quot]s[/FONT]ubtractions[FONT=&quot], and e[/FONT]laborations[FONT=&quot] are welcome.[/FONT][/FONT]


[FONT=&quot]You are not a real writer yet, when:[/FONT][FONT=&quot]
[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]1. [/FONT][FONT=&quot]You think that there are “correct” and “incorrect” percentages of “show” and “tell”[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]2. [/FONT][FONT=&quot]You think there are “correct” and “incorrect” POV types[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]3. [/FONT][FONT=&quot]You think there are “correct” and “incorrect” [/FONT][FONT=&quot]percentages of adverbs and adjectives[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]4. [/FONT][FONT=&quot]You think there is an X-point template which helps make good plots[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]5. [/FONT][FONT=&quot]You think your X-point template plot will work even better if it conforms to the Hero’s Journey or any other trendy gestalt archetype quantum fractal thingie[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]6. [/FONT][FONT=&quot]You think there’s a formula to how many love triangles, betrayals, and plot twists there should be in a book[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]7. [/FONT][FONT=&quot]You judge your writing style according to external criteria and not the needs of your book[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]8. [/FONT][FONT=&quot]You force yourself to “write correctly”, squeezing in “motivation”, “depth”, “edginess”, “hooks”, and any other buzzword concept you run across.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]9. [/FONT][FONT=&quot]You think “motivation” means presenting a character’s biography[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]10. [/FONT][FONT=&quot]You think “character depth” means presenting a character’s biography[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]11. [/FONT][FONT=&quot]You think “realism” is soap opera melodrama[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]12. [/FONT][FONT=&quot]You think “edgy” is soap opera histrionics[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]13. [/FONT][FONT=&quot]You think “gritty” is someone being a loser or an asshole[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]14. [/FONT][FONT=&quot]You think “a hook” is someone getting shot in the opening paragraph[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]15. [/FONT][FONT=&quot]You use ready-made descriptions and all your characters keep clenching their fists, gritting their teeth, knitting their brows, curling their lips, and feeling their stomachs knot[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]16. [/FONT][FONT=&quot]Every soundwave bounces around like a ping-pong ball, deflected from any conceivable surface[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]17. [/FONT][FONT=&quot]Every metallic or glass object shines or glitters or flashes. As do eyes and teeth and nails[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]18. [/FONT][FONT=&quot]You think dialogues are good enough if the only qualifier is "said", and after every sentence the participants scratch their noses, throw back locks of hair, walk over to the window, sigh, frown, scowl, or slap each other’s backs[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]19. [/FONT][FONT=&quot]You are deaf to the rhythms of prose[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]20. [/FONT][FONT=&quot]You are unable to maintain a consistent style for more than a page[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]21. [/FONT][FONT=&quot]You fret about being unoriginal[/FONT], because it helps you ignore the real reasons for not being good enough
[FONT=&quot]22. [/FONT][FONT=&quot]You think finicky world-building and compulsive-obsessive “magic rules/planetary empire hierarchies” is what will make your speculative novel great[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]23. [/FONT][FONT=&quot]You think genre conventions have an objective[/FONT] existence
[FONT=&quot]24. [/FONT][FONT=&quot]You think there is one “correct” style of writing for all genres and all ages and it’s the style you just learned of[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]25. [/FONT][FONT=&quot]You are unable to see what makes the greats better than you and soon convince yourself it’s all luck and connections[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]26. [/FONT][FONT=&quot]You think that learning from the greats means trying to copy their style[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]27. [/FONT][FONT=&quot]You think you shouldn’t put everything you have into one book, but should “pace yourself”[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]28. [/FONT][FONT=&quot]It takes you so long to write a single book that by the time you reach the end you’ve changed so much as a human being, you start over again and again[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]29. [/FONT][FONT=&quot]You do not finish manuscripts[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]30. [/FONT][FONT=&quot]You treat you manuscript as “writing practice”[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]31. [/FONT][FONT=&quot]You think “writing exercise” allows you to not write for real[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]32. [/FONT][FONT=&quot]You think being depreciative about your book is endearing[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]33. [/FONT][FONT=&quot]You think being an ironic narrator will save your book[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]34. [/FONT][FONT=&quot]You refuse to understand that you are competing with the best and insist on special treatment[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]35. [/FONT][FONT=&quot]You think editing your book is someone else’s job[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]36. [/FONT][FONT=&quot]You insist that you don’t care about success or prose quality, and “only want to tell a rip-roar yarn”[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]37. [/FONT][FONT=&quot]You think having lifeless prose makes you “an invisible narrator”[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]38. [/FONT][FONT=&quot]You think that writing a book is preparing for an exam, and publishing the book is passing the exam and having passed this exam you are now “a writer”.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]39. [/FONT][FONT=&quot]You are only doing this to prove something to someone[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]40. [/FONT][FONT=&quot]You have nothing to say [/FONT]

My procrastination trophy shelf is too full by now. I'll have to clear a few more shelves for the next batch

I shall not be goaded into making distasteful jokes about serial reppists.

Memoir title: I was repped by a sock puppet

...and edgy and gritty rep. With motivation and depth.