RUE: Resist the Urge to Explain

ccarver30 · 01-09-2013, 10:02 PM

I discovered this phrase in Self-Editing for Fiction Writers by Browne/King and keep coming across examples as I am editing.

Example:
She clutched onto his forearm in order for him to hear her pleas.

It's awful. I know.

I feel this is even borderline:

He flipped up the collar on his coat to shield himself from the wind.

Does anyone else have to catch themselves from explaining TOO much??

quickWit · 01-09-2013, 10:15 PM

No.

Jessica_312 · 01-09-2013, 10:21 PM

Sure, all the time. I think plenty of things merit explanation, however, there are many times I catch myself explaining obvious things that the reader should pick up from context. Mainly I just have a bad habit of being wordy, and I'm trying to fix that

WillSauger · 01-09-2013, 10:22 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by quickWit

No.

Ditto.

One of the main comments I get is that I'm not explaining enough.

LJD · 01-09-2013, 10:26 PM

Occasionally. But I find I need to explain more just as frequently--I have a pretty bare-bones writing style.

Chris P · 01-09-2013, 10:36 PM

I think I'm getting better at not doing that, especially like the first example; explaining the character's inner environment when I could use action or dialog much more effectively. I've had to work at it, though.

LJD: I have a bare bones style too, now. But I've found I'm really intolerant of wordy descriptions now. A page and a half to describe the garage and everything in it? I used to think that was cool to paint the reader a vivid picture but now I just get annoyed that I've had to wade through all that.

adm · 01-09-2013, 10:37 PM

Sometimes I explain when I shouldn't and don't explain when I should.

Chase · 01-09-2013, 10:39 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by WillSauger

One of the main comments I get is that I'm not explaining enough.

My writing is usually taciturn, too, but every now and then my wonderful editor says, "We get it, Chase. Put your two-by-four away and believe the reader is smarter than you think." She's always spot on.

Susan Littlefield · 01-10-2013, 12:23 AM

Not a whole lot. If we already know what is going on in the scene, no explanation is necessary when he grabs her forearm or he puts his collar up.

gell214 · 01-10-2013, 01:06 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by adm

Sometimes I explain when I shouldn't and don't explain when I should.

Same here.

Sunflowerrei · 01-10-2013, 01:37 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by adm

Sometimes I explain when I shouldn't and don't explain when I should.

Me, too.

sharpyetblunt · 01-10-2013, 01:44 AM

I usually write something and then go through realising i can cut all my sentences in half basically.

mfarraday · 01-10-2013, 02:01 AM

i think it's a good idea to 'economize' and make things concise/less wordy, and i agree with the basic principle that you shouldn't overexplain. but i've also run into writing that explains NOTHING, and it can get tiring trying to figure out what's going on. sometimes it gets to the point where i finally give up.

lolchemist · 01-10-2013, 02:28 AM

It's okay, you're allowed to explain sometimes as long as it isn't distracting or annoying to the reader. I mean maybe the guy was popping his collar to look cute and failing rather than to shield himself from the cold! And maybe the girl was grabbing the guy so that she could feel his sexy forearm. Explanations are important!

Anyway, don't over-think it. You will edit those sentences out once you're doing revisions anyways.

LJD · 01-10-2013, 07:28 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Chris P

LJD: I have a bare bones style too, now. But I've found I'm really intolerant of wordy descriptions now. A page and a half to describe the garage and everything in it? I used to think that was cool to paint the reader a vivid picture but now I just get annoyed that I've had to wade through all that.

I never much liked those. That's why I write the way I do

rwm4768 · 01-10-2013, 08:41 AM

I generally prefer to stay on the light side in both explanation and description. I'll include some parts like the example in first drafts, but then those are usually the parts that get cut in subsequent drafts (unless they really seem necessary).

mellymel · 01-10-2013, 09:20 AM

I did this a lot when I first started writing and didn't know better. I've gotten a lot better with experience and writing more novels and have learned a ton from my beta readers who have forced me to be more conscientious of those newbie type mistakes. I will occasionally slip into it in first drafts (I still consider myself a semi-newb) when I'm just trying to get my story down, but will filter all that extraneous stuff out when I go through it.

ccarver30 · 01-10-2013, 06:05 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by lolchemist

It's okay, you're allowed to explain sometimes as long as it isn't distracting or annoying to the reader. I mean maybe the guy was popping his collar to look cute and failing rather than to shield himself from the cold! And maybe the girl was grabbing the guy so that she could feel his sexy forearm. Explanations are important!

Anyway, don't over-think it. You will edit those sentences out once you're doing revisions anyways.

Novel is 19th century England and that's her brother's forearm. LMAO this made me chuckle.

BethS · 01-10-2013, 06:16 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ccarver30

I feel this is even borderline:

He flipped up the collar on his coat to shield himself from the wind.

Depends. If you've already said it's windy, then no need to explain why he flips the collar up. If wind or cold has not been mentioned, then I'd wonder why the author bothered to describe such a trivial action.

kkbe · 01-10-2013, 06:44 PM

I did in the novel before this one, to the point where I was describing weird shit like my mc reaches over to turn a knob. Lord have mercy, thank god for beta readers.

Tocotin · 01-10-2013, 07:48 PM

Not this kind of overexplaining, no. I think it can be avoided if you make effort to really describe what you see - and what you want the reader to notice with you - when writing a scene. The reader will get what's going on and why, only from watching the surroundings/situation. The girl feels anxious, so she grabs the guy's arm. If there is more than one way to interpret her action, that's good, and it'll help you in plot and character development as well.

Reziac · 01-10-2013, 10:53 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by sharpyetblunt

I usually write something ~~and then go through realising~~ then realise i can cut all my sentences in half ~~basically~~.

Sorry, when I read that I just couldn't resist.

Me, I have the opposite problem... I often don't explain enough. My characters are telepaths, why shouldn't my readers be?

itsaplane · 01-11-2013, 12:45 AM

I'm probably guilty of this. I also tend to be really wordy.

treehugger · 01-12-2013, 12:09 AM

Not exactly what you're asking about, but I have a tendency to overwrite in my first drafts, partly so that I can see the scene more clearly in my head. So I might have a paragraph in which I choreograph every move of my character and every expression that flickers across their face and every thought in their head, and then in the edits later I end up shortening it to a sentence or two. Not the most efficient way of going about things, and it's something I'm trying to work on.

With the sort of examples you posted, I'd probably find some way to make the explanation mean something--explanation is not always bad--and rearrange the sentence a bit. Something like, "The sharp January wind bit into his bare cheeks, and he flipped up the collar of his coat and tucked his chin to his chest." This way the wind is more action-y, you've set the scene a bit more, and you've given the reader a reason for the collar flipping in a more natural way.

ExitTheKing · 01-12-2013, 12:53 AM

Guilty. Guilty. Guilty. Though I'm just as bad about not explaining enough sometimes.

It's always fun to look back when editing and go, "What? Who cares?" Delete it and on to the next sentence.

01-09-2013, 10:02 PM	#1
ccarver30 Highlight, delete, re-write Join Date: Mar 2007 Location: 19th century England Posts: 2,577	RUE: Resist the Urge to Explain I discovered this phrase in Self-Editing for Fiction Writers by Browne/King and keep coming across examples as I am editing. Example: She clutched onto his forearm in order for him to hear her pleas. It's awful. I know. I feel this is even borderline: He flipped up the collar on his coat to shield himself from the wind. Does anyone else have to catch themselves from explaining TOO much?? __________________ WIPs Twelve Diamonds Final Flame Winner's Curse Don't Come Back Everyone should read Self-Editing for Fiction Writers by Browne/King.

01-09-2013, 10:15 PM	#2
quickWit Totally Ninja! Join Date: Dec 2007 Location: I had something for this... Posts: 10,732	No. __________________ Write the turd. Polish the turd. Submit the turd.

01-09-2013, 10:21 PM	#3
Jessica_312 practical experience, FTW Join Date: Jun 2012 Location: Florida Posts: 247	Sure, all the time. I think plenty of things merit explanation, however, there are many times I catch myself explaining obvious things that the reader should pick up from context. Mainly I just have a bad habit of being wordy, and I'm trying to fix that __________________ "The road to hell is paved with adverbs" - Stephen King

01-09-2013, 10:36 PM	#6
Chris P Likes metaphors mixed, not stirred Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Entebbe, Uganda Posts: 9,277	I think I'm getting better at not doing that, especially like the first example; explaining the character's inner environment when I could use action or dialog much more effectively. I've had to work at it, though. LJD: I have a bare bones style too, now. But I've found I'm really intolerant of wordy descriptions now. A page and a half to describe the garage and everything in it? I used to think that was cool to paint the reader a vivid picture but now I just get annoyed that I've had to wade through all that. __________________ Short Fiction and Novel in the AW Library Shorts on sub: 12 Now available! Adventures of Duke and Eddie Querying! Resingled Querying! Nyasaland 68K/90K Write on, Brother! (blog)

01-10-2013, 12:23 AM	#9
Susan Littlefield Tell it like it Is Join Date: Aug 2007 Location: With my cats Posts: 7,478	Not a whole lot. If we already know what is going on in the scene, no explanation is necessary when he grabs her forearm or he puts his collar up. __________________ Susan Please visit my website: http://www.susanlittlefield.blogspot.com/ Last edited by Susan Littlefield; 01-10-2013 at 07:24 AM.

01-09-2013, 10:26 PM	#5
LJD practical experience, FTW Join Date: Sep 2010 Location: Toronto Posts: 1,801	Occasionally. But I find I need to explain more just as frequently--I have a pretty bare-bones writing style.

01-09-2013, 10:37 PM	#7
adm Benefactor Member Join Date: Dec 2011 Posts: 85	Sometimes I explain when I shouldn't and don't explain when I should.

01-10-2013, 01:44 AM	#12
sharpyetblunt figuring it all out Join Date: Jun 2012 Posts: 64	I usually write something and then go through realising i can cut all my sentences in half basically.

01-10-2013, 02:01 AM	#13
mfarraday Time Traveler Join Date: Feb 2012 Location: Southern California Posts: 537	i think it's a good idea to 'economize' and make things concise/less wordy, and i agree with the basic principle that you shouldn't overexplain. but i've also run into writing that explains NOTHING, and it can get tiring trying to figure out what's going on. sometimes it gets to the point where i finally give up. __________________ Flash Fiction by me: http://thestoryshack.com/2012/12/31/ballast/

01-10-2013, 02:28 AM	#14
lolchemist Feed me green grapes. Join Date: Mar 2012 Posts: 699	It's okay, you're allowed to explain sometimes as long as it isn't distracting or annoying to the reader. I mean maybe the guy was popping his collar to look cute and failing rather than to shield himself from the cold! And maybe the girl was grabbing the guy so that she could feel his sexy forearm. Explanations are important! Anyway, don't over-think it. You will edit those sentences out once you're doing revisions anyways. __________________ Current WIP (YA Fantasy) - Book 1: 53,467 of 75,000 x Book 2: 10,512 of 75,000 x Book 3: 09,962 of 75,000 x Book 4: 12,490 of 75,000

01-10-2013, 08:41 AM	#16
rwm4768 practical experience, FTW Join Date: Jan 2012 Location: Missouri Posts: 5,445	I generally prefer to stay on the light side in both explanation and description. I'll include some parts like the example in first drafts, but then those are usually the parts that get cut in subsequent drafts (unless they really seem necessary). __________________ My writing blog: http://ryanmuellerwriting.blogspot.com/ WIP: The Man in the Crystal Prison (Upper MG Contemporary Fantasy): 66K Revising and Editing White Fire (Epic Fantasy): 114K Revising and Editing.

01-10-2013, 09:20 AM	#17
mellymel I find ur lack of faith disturbing Join Date: Dec 2009 Location: I'm not sure, but if you find me, for the love of God, please let me know! Posts: 3,581	I did this a lot when I first started writing and didn't know better. I've gotten a lot better with experience and writing more novels and have learned a ton from my beta readers who have forced me to be more conscientious of those newbie type mistakes. I will occasionally slip into it in first drafts (I still consider myself a semi-newb) when I'm just trying to get my story down, but will filter all that extraneous stuff out when I go through it. __________________ "The good thing about telling the truth is that there's nothing to remember."--John Ford Noonan (playwright) "Falling on your face is still moving forward."--Ron Maranian (comedian) WIP: YA Thriller--finally done after three rounds of revisions! About to ride the query train. Hold my hair back while I puke? Thanks. Blog--YA for the YAt Heart

01-10-2013, 06:44 PM	#20
kkbe Huh. Join Date: Nov 2011 Location: Left of center. Posts: 2,773	I did in the novel before this one, to the point where I was describing weird shit like my mc reaches over to turn a knob. Lord have mercy, thank god for beta readers. __________________ “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean it,” I say. “I’m just mad at everything.” “I know,” he says, sucking up snot. “You wanna wipe your nose on my shirt?” ~ M. Sparks, EFFIN' ALBERT

01-10-2013, 07:48 PM	#21
Tocotin deceives Join Date: Aug 2008 Location: Tokyo, with cherry blossoms Posts: 312	Not this kind of overexplaining, no. I think it can be avoided if you make effort to really describe what you see - and what you want the reader to notice with you - when writing a scene. The reader will get what's going on and why, only from watching the surroundings/situation. The girl feels anxious, so she grabs the guy's arm. If there is more than one way to interpret her action, that's good, and it'll help you in plot and character development as well. __________________ 大阪本町の糸屋の娘姉は十八妹十六諸国大名は弓矢で殺し糸屋の娘は眼で殺す

01-11-2013, 12:45 AM	#23
itsaplane all the feels, ALL OF THEM Join Date: Mar 2009 Location: Virginia Beach Posts: 183	I'm probably guilty of this. I also tend to be really wordy. __________________ Writing: YA CONTEMP Phantasmagoria 2k/70k HIATUS. YA URBAN FANTASY Demons Don't Sleep 72k/60k REVISING. YA SCIFI PLOTTING YA SUPERHERO OUTLINING

01-12-2013, 12:09 AM	#24
treehugger practical experience, FTW Join Date: Feb 2008 Location: Zenith City of the Unsalted Seas Posts: 157	Not exactly what you're asking about, but I have a tendency to overwrite in my first drafts, partly so that I can see the scene more clearly in my head. So I might have a paragraph in which I choreograph every move of my character and every expression that flickers across their face and every thought in their head, and then in the edits later I end up shortening it to a sentence or two. Not the most efficient way of going about things, and it's something I'm trying to work on. With the sort of examples you posted, I'd probably find some way to make the explanation mean something--explanation is not always bad--and rearrange the sentence a bit. Something like, "The sharp January wind bit into his bare cheeks, and he flipped up the collar of his coat and tucked his chin to his chest." This way the wind is more action-y, you've set the scene a bit more, and you've given the reader a reason for the collar flipping in a more natural way. __________________ http://plainlivingandhighthinking.blogspot.com

01-12-2013, 12:53 AM	#25
ExitTheKing New Fish; Learning About Thick Skin Join Date: Aug 2010 Posts: 32	Guilty. Guilty. Guilty. Though I'm just as bad about not explaining enough sometimes. It's always fun to look back when editing and go, "What? Who cares?" Delete it and on to the next sentence. __________________ Check out my blog. Warning: I write gay romance.

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