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Old 12-31-2012, 01:44 AM   #1
benluby
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Brief critique if possible?

If anyone would be so kind, please critique this for me.

Quote:
The dwarves, however, were of the opposite mind. Here, they were comfortable. All that open sky left one constantly expecting to fall up into the never ending depths of space. As bad as being outside at day was, night was infinitely worse, knowing that one could fall billions of miles, only to be incinerated by some thrice damned ball of fire stuck out in the middle of nowhere next to not a damned thing but a ball of rock.
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Old 12-31-2012, 01:51 AM   #2
Ton Lew Lepsnaci
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Better post this in SYW http://www.absolutewrite.com/forums/...splay.php?f=26. You'll get many more eyes on it and as it is short, even more.

Note that you need to post your own work. Not someone else's.
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Old 12-31-2012, 01:54 AM   #3
mirandashell
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The OP is someone else's writing?
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Old 12-31-2012, 01:56 AM   #4
benluby
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mirandashell View Post
The OP is someone else's writing?
No, it's my own writing. I'll post it over there. Thanks.
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