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Old 12-05-2012, 05:45 AM   #1
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Child Bitten by Dolphin at Sea World
Check out the buffet line, which would seem hard to resist if you're a bottlenose dolphin.
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Old 12-05-2012, 05:56 AM   #2
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Bad Doggie!

Happens to me all the time.
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Old 12-05-2012, 06:00 AM   #3
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The sweet, tender meat of small children is often quite delicious.

Or...so I've heard.
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Old 12-05-2012, 06:12 AM   #4
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The meat of small children is often quite delicious.

Or...so I've heard.
Like W.C. Fields once observed, I like children... fried.
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Old 12-05-2012, 06:27 AM   #5
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I always warn people that dolphins are arrogant evil bastards, but does anyone listen?
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Old 12-05-2012, 06:57 AM   #6
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Old 12-05-2012, 09:30 AM   #7
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I always warn people that dolphins are arrogant evil bastards, but does anyone listen?
QFT. They are, when all is said and done, big wild predators with their own agendas. Why anyone would let their small children near them is a mystery to me.
It's like those stories about dolphins pushing sailors in to shore. They're playful, they like pushing stuff, it's like dribbling a ball. We never hear from the sailors they push out to sea.
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Old 12-05-2012, 09:41 AM   #8
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Penn & Teller said it best...dolphins are bullshit!
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Old 12-05-2012, 12:07 PM   #9
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I always like it when animals act like dicks.

Nothing irritates me more than when people are like, "BUT WHAT IF MAN WAS THE REAL ANIMAL!?"

And I'm like, "Well, we are animals. For example, dolphins commit genocide."

"ONLY MAN COULD BE SO CRUEL TO EACHOTHER."

"And chimps beat up weaker chimps to shift blame from themselves to others."

"WE'RE A VIRUS THAT SHOULD BE PURGED FROM THIS EARTH!"

Then I start backing away slowly...
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Old 12-05-2012, 12:12 PM   #10
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At least it wasn't the shark tank. Amirite?
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Old 12-05-2012, 12:50 PM   #11
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It just grabbed a fish and her hand was in the way. I am sure dolphins will bite someone on purpose, but that's not what this shows.
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Old 12-05-2012, 03:55 PM   #12
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A group of male dolphins in the wild will often capture a female, hold her captive for months and gang rape her. They also torture and kill other animals for fun.


NEVER TRUST THE DOLPHINS!
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Old 12-05-2012, 03:55 PM   #13
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... sad to hear of the incident. Hopefully the lad isn't too traumatized and the dolphin not too overcome with remorse.
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Old 12-05-2012, 04:27 PM   #14
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Dolphins are wild animals and predators. They stalk hunt and kill their prey. They torture and kill smaller porpoises for fun, offspring to breed with the mothers. They are not the cute, cuddly, sweet creatures they are made out to be. And it is fine they are that way. They are wild animals.

If you feed any animal, especially a wild one, you stand the risk of being bitten.

A lot of humans have this arrogance that other animals must revere us. That somehow they should instinctually know, we are humans and must never be touched, annoyed or bothered. We're just another part of the food chain.
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Old 12-05-2012, 04:51 PM   #15
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QFT. Those stories about dolphins pushing sailors in to shore. They're playful, they like pushing stuff, it's like dribbling a ball. We never hear from the sailors they push out to sea.
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Old 12-05-2012, 05:26 PM   #16
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*sticks fingers in ears*

Dolphins are wonderful, special creatures. They love me and I love them.

They're a helluva lot better than cats, at any rate.
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Old 12-05-2012, 05:29 PM   #17
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Penn & Teller said it best...dolphins are bullshit!
I watched this. Now I need a stiff drink and a lie down.
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Old 12-05-2012, 05:30 PM   #18
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All joking aside, I just watched the video, which included this exchange:

Dad: Just hold your hand out like this.

Girl: Whyyy?

Dad: We're just gonna film it.

Mom: We're not going to show it to anybody.


That bothers me.
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Old 12-05-2012, 05:40 PM   #19
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Originally Posted by robeiae View Post
All joking aside, I just watched the video, which included this exchange:

Dad: Just hold your hand out like this.

Girl: Whyyy?

Dad: We're just gonna film it.

Mom: We're not going to show it to anybody.


That bothers me.

And then there's:

Girl: Whyyyy?

Mom: Because it's important.


That sounds like documentation of evidence, and that bothers me.

I thought some of the quotes made by the parents were funny. They forgot dolphins were wild animals? Well, you're letting your kid play with something that's probably 6-7 times bigger than they are, and it moves. Perhaps knowing and understanding the basics of that 'toy' would be wise.

Clearly it's not the fault of the parents, but I don't believe it's the fault of the kid, or sea world either (or wherever the hell they were). Just an accident.
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Old 12-05-2012, 05:53 PM   #20
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And then there's:

Girl? Whyyyy?

Mom: Because it's important.


That sounds like documentation of evidence, and that bothers me.

I thought some of the quotes made by the parents were funny. They forgot dolphins were wild animals? Well, you're letting your kid play with something that's probably 6-7 times bigger than they are, and it moves. Perhaps knowing and understanding the basics of that 'toy' would be wise.

Clearly it's not the fault of the parents, but I don't believe it's the fault of the kid, or sea world either (or wherever the hell they were). Just an accident.
I'm not so sure about the bolded. It sounds to me like they were trolling for a lawsuit with the kid as bait.
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Old 12-05-2012, 06:01 PM   #21
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I'm not so sure about the bolded. It sounds to me like they were trolling for a lawsuit with the kid as bait.
You think they were trolling before the bite? Like "Hey lets take the kids to feed dolphins, and see if we can get somebody injured?" That type of trolling?

Or after the bite, like "Hey our daughter was viciously attacked by this ferocious beast. We demand compensation!"
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Old 12-05-2012, 06:15 PM   #22
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Reminds me of a story my father told me when I was a teen. Some parents wanted film of a bear licking their kid, so they smeared the kid's face and neck with honey and set him out near the woods. Sure enough, a bear showed up and started licking the kid's face and the kid was so terrified, he was frozen in place. And then the bear did what bears do to get more honey--he took a bite to rip open the hive.

All caught on film. My father said the parents weren't charged and the bear was hunted down and killed. I don't know if that's urban myth or fact, but it sounds about right.

But I don't buy that the parents aren't at fault here either. They forced the kid to do something she didn't want to, wasn't comfortable doing, all for the photo-op. They're just lucky nothing worse happened.

My only real upset is that, if/when they decide to sue, the jury's likely to side with them and give them far too much money.
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Old 12-05-2012, 07:46 PM   #23
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Kid as bait...good one, Don

Any parent that lets their kid get that close to a dolphin, to feed it...wait, that's Sea World's responsibility...oops. Geez, when I feed my cat a piece of chicken, she gets me w/ her teeth, not on purpose, but it hurts. I usually give it to her on the palm of my hand, and no problem, but w/ my fingers, I'm guaranteed a nip.

Dolphins are amazing creatures, but duh, they're wild. I suppose if you paid extra to feed them, then, oh well.

I hope the dolphin's not traumatized and that the parents showed remorse
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Old 12-06-2012, 12:10 AM   #24
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That dolphin thought he'd gotten the motherload! The girl was holding up the fish container to show her parents she was out, which was probably a really bad idea

That bite looks like it would hurt! The parents are all manipulating it for the camera instead of getting the poor girl an ice pack, though. That's the most disturbing part to me.

I wonder if the ER or quick clinic has to turn in every dolphin bite the same way they do for every dog bite ? I hope Animal Control comes out to Sea World the same way it does to a regular citizen
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Old 12-06-2012, 01:45 AM   #25
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Everyone beat me to the TRUST NO DOLPHIN retort.

But seriously.
Dolphins are shady as fuck.
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