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Old 11-03-2012, 08:55 AM   #1
MorganMarshall
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Social Situations?

I'm just curious. Does anyone else here feel weird in social situations? I never feel quite like I'm right with other people. I think it's because nobody I know in person really gets what it's like to be a writer. They just think I sit home all day and do nothing. Am I alone here, or do other writers know how it feels to be totally misunderstood? Just now, I was told, "Yeah. But I actually WORK all day." :-(
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Old 11-03-2012, 07:39 PM   #2
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I've never introduced myself as a "writer"; if asked about my line of work, I say that I'm a teacher. (I taught elementary school when I was younger, and I'm currently seeking a college faculty position). So I haven't experienced the discomfort that you're talking about.

But I've gotta admit that I've attended a few parties where the host politely shunted me off to the room or corner where the artsy-writerly-bohemian-counterculture type of people are hanging out. That's OK with me, because that's the place where the most interesting partygoers can be found!
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Old 11-03-2012, 10:22 PM   #3
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Sat Nam! (Literally "Truth Name"--a Sikh greeting)

You'll find a thread on a related topic in AW Roundtable, titled something like Dumb Things Non-Writers Say.

A high percentage of all writers are introverts. We live primarily inside ourselves; that's almost mandatory for good writing. But introversion and socializing don't mix too well. So, yes, socializing isn't my favorite thing to do, not because of what people say, but because of my nature.

Blessings,

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Old 11-04-2012, 03:27 AM   #4
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Wink

I'm comfortable in social situations because I'm an extrovert, but most people don't know I write.

That's why I waste spend sooooo much time here.

...Writers = It takes one to know (and understand) one.
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Old 11-04-2012, 03:41 AM   #5
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Old 11-04-2012, 05:53 AM   #6
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I'm just curious. Does anyone else here feel weird in social situations? I never feel quite like I'm right with other people. (
Oh this is easy-peasy!
I used to feel this way all the time,
but I fixed it.

I don't leave my house anymore.
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I'd say I got off lightly.
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Old 11-04-2012, 06:06 AM   #7
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That's smart, Kelly.

I mean, if you leave the house, then you may be beseiged by people. And if that wasn't bad enough, there's this horrible thing in the sky that makes it hot! The horror!



Seriously, though, I'm not much for socialising. I never seemed to get the hang of it.

It's a struggle. As a writer, I'm comfortable inside my own head. As a musician, I feel obligated to be outgoing to some extent. This is precisely why I stand at the front window and yell at the birds.
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Old 11-04-2012, 06:18 AM   #8
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Okay, okay, okay.
I will go to my yard...

But chances are, in all of those social situations, there are like people with various college degrees who have like careers and stuff. They don't need to be wasting their time talking to little old boring me - and I don't need their judgment, or three hours of talking about what color bathroom tile their half-crazied SO found at half price in the cutout bin of so-in-so and such-in-such and bla bla bla. JSMN.

It's a miracle if I say more than five words at these functions anyways.
Just a huge waste of time.
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I'd say I got off lightly.
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Old 11-04-2012, 06:20 AM   #9
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It's always amazed me how some writers (and other artists) feel they are extra special and shouldn't be scrutinized by anyone else regarding their work.

I mean, come on. Just tell people what you do and leave it at that; or keep your mouth shut regarding your profession and find other things to talk about during social settings.

See how easy that is?
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Old 11-04-2012, 06:36 AM   #10
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Easy breezy lemon squeezy.

*runs back inside house*
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Old 11-04-2012, 06:39 AM   #11
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Introducing myself as a writer (irl) seems pointless to me until I'm published because no one will understand anyway. People in general just ... don't.

I've never been good at socializing. I enjoy my own company, having to deal with others can be a nuisance, but despite my preference of being "alone", loneliness can be lurking in the dark as well. But for the most part: it's quite alright.

Isn't it?

Everyone, regardless or how, where, or why, gets to know/see my heavy use of sarcasm though, no matter how small...
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Old 11-04-2012, 08:10 AM   #12
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I've found a simple solution to this problem. I never go to parties, but throw a lot of them. This way I meet people in my own home, on my turf, and I don't have to feel awkward, bacause nobody ever talks to the hostess anyway.
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Old 11-04-2012, 04:23 PM   #13
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And if all else fails, head for the buffet table, the bar, or the beer keg, and just...party on!
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Old 11-04-2012, 04:31 PM   #14
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Just now, I was told, "Yeah. But I actually WORK all day." :-(
To be fair, there are jobs that are much less pleasant than writing.. And much harder work. I know, coz I've had them.
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Old 11-04-2012, 04:49 PM   #15
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I'm introverted, so I have trouble with social situations in general. It doesn't matter if it's a setting in which I'm expected to talk about myself or not; it's awkward and I'm not very talkative.

Discussions about being a writer aren't too bad. I'm not the only introvert who anticipates questions and comments and has a preconceived "script" in my head of good responses. (Some are even kind of funny.)

It's when people come up with something I didn't plan for that I'm lost. Um...uh...err...what?
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Old 11-04-2012, 06:13 PM   #16
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I have anxiety issues when it comes to social interaction, not as bad as they were five years ago when I would feel faint if I was anywhere with other people and had to run to the relative safety of the car. But I still have mild panic attacks on occasion and have learned to cope with them without medication. When I was really bad, when the panic attacks began, I had to use medication, otherwise I was too afraid to even leave the house. I worked at a job for five years before I quit due to I couldn't stand my back-stabbing colleagues anymore, that made it possible for me to not have to interact with a whole lot of people on a daily basis. Just dealing with my colleagues. My boyfriend is an extrovert and loves being where there are lots of people and crowds, I hate it with a passion. I feel claustrophobic when I'm in a crowd and need out of there. I don't tell people I write unless it somehow gets brought up, like if a person asks me what I like to do, then I tell them that and my other hobbies. I always have the sense most people wouldn't care, so I save my breath. I also get the sense most people don't care a word I say, period, so I keep quiet. I've always been that way. But on the internet, I'm a bit more chatty. I think chatting on the internet is much easier than having to talk to people face to face. You don't have to deal with people turning away from you and talking to someone else when you're in the middle of saying something. And when that happens, people wonder why I won't talk to them.
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Old 02-08-2013, 03:20 AM   #17
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anti-social, uncomfortable around people, tend to avoid interacting with them if I can help it.
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Old 02-10-2013, 04:09 AM   #18
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I'd say it just means you're more of an introvert. I've always been more of one. Crowds of people tend to exhaust me.

http://giftedkids.about.com/od/glossary/g/introvert.htm
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Old 02-10-2013, 07:41 AM   #19
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I've never been particularly social, myself. It has nothing to do with writing, though. I'm an introvert, and I have a minor speech impediment (not so bad now as it used to be) - talking's not much fun when nobody understands what you're saying.

I'm also a boring person, so it's just as well I don't say much.

My social life suffers, but I never had much of one to begin with. When I do end up around people, I've become pretty good at being invisible. I get to overhear all sorts of odd conversations that way... makes for good writing material.
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Old 02-10-2013, 10:04 AM   #20
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I'd say it just means you're more of an introvert. I've always been more of one. Crowds of people tend to exhaust me.

http://giftedkids.about.com/od/glossary/g/introvert.htm
This! I'm a bit hyper-vigilant. I enjoy social gatherings for a little while, then they wear me out and I know it's time to leave. Some people mistake this for not enjoying the party. Nope. I enjoyed it. I'm just tired, so I'm done now.
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Old 02-16-2013, 02:11 PM   #21
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I've never been particularly social, myself. It has nothing to do with writing, though. I'm an introvert, and I have a minor speech impediment (not so bad now as it used to be) - talking's not much fun when nobody understands what you're saying.

I'm also a boring person, so it's just as well I don't say much.

My social life suffers, but I never had much of one to begin with. When I do end up around people, I've become pretty good at being invisible. I get to overhear all sorts of odd conversations that way... makes for good writing material.
haha yeah. im an expert when it comes to turning invisible. perfected it at high-school
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