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#23826 | ||
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Speling & grammer murderer, Sorrie!
Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: Philadelphia PA
Posts: 10,272
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I'm posting it here to get minor feedback, just mainly which version do you like more? Which one reads better? Do they both suck? Are they both ok?
VERSION 1 Quote:
Quote:
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Legend of the Freaks
YA Horror/Thriller Series 8 of 12 books complete WiP Re-write of first book FREAKs Unsung Zeros Psychological Thriller Rewrite -1/2 done On Hold The Amnesia Journey YA Fantasy RBSL Contemp/romantic comedy Legend of a Freak (Blog!) |
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#23827 |
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zaldrīzes buzdari iksos daor
Join Date: May 2009
Location: The Land of Always Winter
Posts: 6,953
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BG, that's KLAUS. He's superfantasticallyevillybeautifullyhilariously cool.
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A constellation of tears on your lashes Burn everything you love, then burn the ashes In the end everything collides My childhood spat back out the monster that you see |
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#23828 |
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zaldrīzes buzdari iksos daor
Join Date: May 2009
Location: The Land of Always Winter
Posts: 6,953
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OKAY I'M SITTING AT SCHOOL TRYING TO PROCRASTINATE AND THERE IS NO ONE TO PROCRASTINATE WITH.
Whatch'all doin'?
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A constellation of tears on your lashes Burn everything you love, then burn the ashes In the end everything collides My childhood spat back out the monster that you see |
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#23829 |
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believe
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: In my computer....most of the time and Pennsylvania other times
Posts: 6,863
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Hey Tally!
Well I had a half day of school because of finals, so I'm just sitting here enjoying NOT being in school. |
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#23830 |
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Ever onward
Join Date: Dec 2008
Location: The TARDIS with David Tennant
Posts: 19,109
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I don't have any Friday classes so I'm hanging out until lunch and then I have a ton of stuff that I need to do.
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#23831 |
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believe
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: In my computer....most of the time and Pennsylvania other times
Posts: 6,863
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I'm so glad I don't have school Monday and Tuesday and that this semester is over. One more to go and then I'm out of high school forever.
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#23832 | |
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Ever onward
Join Date: Dec 2008
Location: The TARDIS with David Tennant
Posts: 19,109
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Try to enjoy your last semester. Even though college is so much better. |
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#23833 |
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believe
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: In my computer....most of the time and Pennsylvania other times
Posts: 6,863
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I'm trying.
I hate my new school though and I don't even know the people I'm graduating with, which sucks. *sighs* If only my old school could've stayed open... I can't wait to go to college though. I'm touring one of the colleges I got accepted into next month, to see if I want to go there or not. I stalk the website daily and the campus is GORGEOUS. |
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#23834 |
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A place where dreams are born
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: In your head. I'm the little voice you hear all the time. And you thought that was your conscience!
Posts: 5,546
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I kind of-sort of have a date tonight.
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"Writing is easy: All you do is sit staring at a blank sheet of paper until drops of blood form on your forehead." ~Gene Fowler WIPs ![]() Awaking Melody: 93k/110k ![]() OLS: Editing My Website/Personal Blog A BookGirl's Reviews |
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#23836 |
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A place where dreams are born
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: In your head. I'm the little voice you hear all the time. And you thought that was your conscience!
Posts: 5,546
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Well, it's kind of a weird date. There's this dance tonight, and a friend and I are going to it, but he's on the ballroom team, and they're also doing something at it, and so I don't know exactly how it's going to work.....
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"Writing is easy: All you do is sit staring at a blank sheet of paper until drops of blood form on your forehead." ~Gene Fowler WIPs ![]() Awaking Melody: 93k/110k ![]() OLS: Editing My Website/Personal Blog A BookGirl's Reviews |
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#23838 |
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A place where dreams are born
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: In your head. I'm the little voice you hear all the time. And you thought that was your conscience!
Posts: 5,546
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Most of the colleges/universities around here (like within 5-6 hours) have them, I know. All of them may, but I'm not sure. This is one of the routines they had my freshman year (it's one of my favorites (at least that I can find online
)).
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"Writing is easy: All you do is sit staring at a blank sheet of paper until drops of blood form on your forehead." ~Gene Fowler WIPs ![]() Awaking Melody: 93k/110k ![]() OLS: Editing My Website/Personal Blog A BookGirl's Reviews |
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#23839 |
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believe
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: In my computer....most of the time and Pennsylvania other times
Posts: 6,863
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Wow. I love ballroom dancing. I think it's beautiful how people can make dance steps look so graceful. I'm the complete opposite of graceful, which is why I don't think I'll ever be able to do any kind of ballroom dancing haha.
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#23840 | |
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Ever onward
Join Date: Dec 2008
Location: The TARDIS with David Tennant
Posts: 19,109
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Quote:
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#23841 |
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zaldrīzes buzdari iksos daor
Join Date: May 2009
Location: The Land of Always Winter
Posts: 6,953
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Whew, just finished a killer Economics exam.
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A constellation of tears on your lashes Burn everything you love, then burn the ashes In the end everything collides My childhood spat back out the monster that you see |
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#23842 |
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practical experience, FTW
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: Pennsylvania and Virginia (depends on the time of year)
Posts: 131
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I think one of the major deciding factors with what college I was going to go to was the campus. Instead of being packed into a city like a lot of the colleges that I applied to, the one I chose had a sprawling campus that is absolutely beautiful. I'm also a sucker for some of the old-fashioned looking buildings on the older side of campus.
Oh, and as far as the introductions go, amlptj, I like the first one a lot better. The second one reads a little more awkwardly.
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The Fourth Choice - Rewrite 14k out of 51k Narcissa - Planning Stage Currently reading: On the Road by Jack Kerouac |
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#23843 |
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Fate likes to double-dip on me.
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: Florida
Posts: 1,182
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I wanted to go to this university in my town that was absolutely gorgeous. It had a very calm, nature-y atmosphere to it. It was a small private college, but I couldn't afford 45,000 dollars a year, which really made me sad because their elementary education degree program was top-notch!
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WIP
Girl of Chaos: YA dieselpunk alchemy The Savage Nature of Trees: Fairies YA Dark Child: Magic, witches YA Cross to Bear: Steampunk, demons, witches, religion |
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#23844 |
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believe
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: In my computer....most of the time and Pennsylvania other times
Posts: 6,863
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I got accepted into both a private university and a public one. Though the private one is considerably cheap as far as private colleges go. It's $26,000 a year, room & board is free, laundry is free, plus I really want to go there.
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#23845 |
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YA romance writer in love with love
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Chicago
Posts: 12,480
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Ally, I agree with Springs. First one is better. The second is awkward because your "author" voice is popping in. Telling the reader about the character instead of showing who they are, like the first one.
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#23847 |
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YA romance writer in love with love
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Chicago
Posts: 12,480
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Hiya, Ely!
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#23848 |
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#teampeeta
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: Somewhere Only We Know...
Posts: 2,066
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I have a SNI... But I don't know how to start it. Frustrationnnnnn.
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#23849 |
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believe
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: In my computer....most of the time and Pennsylvania other times
Posts: 6,863
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Karla - Great!
I have a four day weekend, and the first semester of school is over and done with. I'm just counting the days until graduation. How are things with you?Taylor - Just sit down and write. I didn't know how to start my SNI so I just let my characters do the talking.
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#23850 |
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#teampeeta
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: Somewhere Only We Know...
Posts: 2,066
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But I don't think my characters know what to do, either. :P
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