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Old 06-10-2011, 09:45 PM   #426
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Geeze. Is the entire country turning stupid?

Wait'll they find out that both University of Maine and Bowdoin have co-ed bathrooms and dorms . . .
Worse. Some of our schools allow boys and girls to be in the same building! :O

And I hope that no one finds out that at the school I'm going to, it's considered normal for boys and girls to dress the same way. In fact, it's required. Girls wearing pants! Next we'll be leaving the kitchen and taking the men jobs!
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Old 06-10-2011, 11:44 PM   #427
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An odd benefit to being genderqueer, I find it's easy for me to write from either male or female perspective. I've heard many cisgender writers complain that it's hard to "get the voice right" when writing a character of the opposite gender, but I've never had that problem. I've spent so much of my life being female and/or male, that either one comes naturally.

Even a trans person who identifies as 100% one sex or another, has often had the experience of being raised with all the social and behavioral expectations of the opposite gender. That's an insider glimpse to the other side of the gender divide that most cisgender writers never get.

I find that glimpse into "both sides of the fence" makes it easy for me to play the role of either gender easily in real life, and consequently in my writing as well. It also helps me write characters who are naturally shades of gray in their behavior instead of relying on gender stereotypes (which I see a lot in fiction and smacks of lazy writing.)

Anyone else find this is the case? I do consider myself androgyne/genderqueer rather than trans, so I could see my experience being different from someone who's TS.
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Old 06-11-2011, 12:22 AM   #428
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I'm a transgender girl, and I absolutely, 100%, cannot write boys.

I know what you mean about social and behavioural expectations, but I don't think it really works. I didn't really conform to being a boy, and when I did, I didn't enjoy it. I also had one parent who accepted my 'gender variance' by buying me dolls and girls' books from the age of four. Although the other one was against this kind of thing, which caused arguments between them and didn't really help me.

I don't think it helps with male POV. I've never been a boy internally, so I have no idea how they think or act. I've only been a girl with a boy's body for part of childhood.

ETA: Something I forgot to mention. I also dislike writing male POV when I have to. I think being trans has kind of turned me off my birth sex. If that makes sense.
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Old 06-11-2011, 03:37 AM   #429
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I'm a transgender girl, and I absolutely, 100%, cannot write boys.

I know what you mean about social and behavioural expectations, but I don't think it really works. I didn't really conform to being a boy, and when I did, I didn't enjoy it. I also had one parent who accepted my 'gender variance' by buying me dolls and girls' books from the age of four. Although the other one was against this kind of thing, which caused arguments between them and didn't really help me.

I don't think it helps with male POV. I've never been a boy internally, so I have no idea how they think or act. I've only been a girl with a boy's body for part of childhood.

ETA: Something I forgot to mention. I also dislike writing male POV when I have to. I think being trans has kind of turned me off my birth sex. If that makes sense.
Makes perfect sense to me.

I can write male POV if I have to, but it's probably kind of stereotyped to be honest. Like, I know sort of what it's like to be a depressed male-sex person (regardless of mental gender) and I've had plenty of experience with other males being typically loud, arrogant and bordering on violent or sociopathic.

So I can write those 2, but I'm lost when it comes to writing a well-adjusted male character. When I have to write a character like that, I tend to rely on the things I assume men and women have in common regarding well-adjusted/nice-person type issues.

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Old 06-11-2011, 03:39 AM   #430
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And I should stress that I know there are plenty of real life guys who are normal and well adjusted.

My comment about the loud, arrogant et al ones should've been qualified with the statement: "Those types of guys attract your attention, whereas the nice guys tend to pass by unnoticed."

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Old 06-11-2011, 04:13 AM   #431
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When I was younger I used to be very tomboy. Only in the last few years I've started to enjoy "feminine" things like girl shirts, the color pink, or unicorns. I still fail epicly at stuff that girls are supposedly supposed to do at... cleaning house, cooking, hair & makeup, fashion, being attracted to penises, wanting children. Hehe.


I'm not sure why, but of my female characters, only one is a genuinely good person. She's pregnant, engaged, and pretty much a stereotypical "normal" woman. The other woman is the same traditional sense of "normal" but she had prejudices that she doesn't exactly hide. Another one is more morally ambiguous, because her choice in the story could either be considered the right thing to do or wrong thing (letting a bad person die). The last female is a straight-up blackmailer and killer.

But for my men, most of them seem to firmly be hard-working, morally sound guys. With the exception of one, who is racist against his own species and plots a murder.

Wow, am I unintentionally sexist? 3 out of 4 female characters are not good people. 1 guy out of 5 is bad. Maybe I need to harshen up my men.
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Old 06-11-2011, 10:22 AM   #432
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I'm not very good at writing male characters either, apparently. They tend to either be stereotypes or come across as being genderqueer-indentified rather than male-identified.
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Old 06-11-2011, 03:21 PM   #433
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Should also say that I seem to be okay with male love interests - although they're all beta males. I couldn't write an alpha male to save my life.
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Old 06-11-2011, 05:17 PM   #434
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Should also say that I seem to be okay with male love interests - although they're all beta males. I couldn't write an alpha male to save my life.
Oh, good way to put it. I can kinda write beta males, but not alpha males. I hate the concept of "alpha male" so much that just thinking about the term makes me instinctively grit my teeth.
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Old 06-11-2011, 07:24 PM   #435
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Oh, good way to put it. I can kinda write beta males, but not alpha males. I hate the concept of "alpha male" so much that just thinking about the term makes me instinctively grit my teeth.
Heh. I'm cis male, and I totally agree.
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Old 06-12-2011, 04:36 AM   #436
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Thirded.

My mind associates alpha males with the arrogant, obnoxious guys I meet from day to day. I really don't like those guys, and because that's all my mind can really come up with when it thinks of the term "alpha male" - well, I consequently don't like writing alpha males.

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Old 06-12-2011, 04:46 AM   #437
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Oh, self-indulgent update.

Now that my hormone dosage is finally correct, I've feminized more in two months than in the ten months before that. And started wearing girlier clothes, too. And lost fifteen pounds (so far).

In the last month, I've gone from being told "you look exactly like you did in high school" to having gone into the women's restroom (with friends) and not getting weird looks. I think I understand what "surreal" means now.
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Old 06-12-2011, 04:52 AM   #438
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Wow, congrats!
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Old 06-12-2011, 05:11 AM   #439
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That's awesome Mara!

And don't think it's self-indulgent to share these stories. I know they make me feel better about my own future, and I'm sure I'm not the only person who reads this thread who gets a boost from your progress.

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Old 06-12-2011, 05:28 AM   #440
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Yes, I think those sorts of accomplishments are very appropriate for this thread. Then I get to celebrate with you!
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Old 06-12-2011, 05:51 PM   #441
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Yeah, definitely not self-indulgent at all. Congrats

For every poster on this thread, I bet there's another five or six lurkers, many of whom will be in a bad place with their gender identity.

When I was a very frightened teenager, stories from transitioning and post-transition transgendered people helped me through. I think it's very important that people who are, and have, transitioned show that progress can and is made.

I could easily go stealth, but I won't. I'm not ashamed of who I am. And I want others to see that there is light at the end of the tunnel.
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Old 06-13-2011, 07:42 AM   #442
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I saw this making the rounds on Tumblr and thought you all might appreciate it.

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Old 06-13-2011, 08:14 AM   #443
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Now I feel the urge to sing.

♫ BE A MAN! ♪
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Old 06-15-2011, 01:40 AM   #444
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I saw a funny comic on Transe-generation where a trans guy was singing "Make a Man Out of You" while injecting testosterone.

Anyway, more stuff about me.

I went out on a mother-daughter shopping trip and was not called "sir" once. We were referred to as "ladies" twice, though. Everybody seemed to view me as female, or if they thought otherwise, they didn't seem to show it.

Then I filed my name change request today. Finally.

Today was one of the best days ever.

EDIT: By the way, my real first name is Emily. Mara was a randomized name for a Warcraft character I played for like a few weeks before I got tired of the game.
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Old 06-15-2011, 02:21 AM   #445
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Yay Emily!
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Old 06-15-2011, 03:57 AM   #446
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So glad things are going well, Emily.

Also, I happen to love shopping, so I'm so glad to hear you liked it too.

...

On my end, I've taken some advice from you guys to be more true to myself where I can. So last week at volunteer work I saw this adorable little purse, and instead of checking it out while pretending to see how much it cost or whether I could make it look better on the display shelf or whatever, I just checked it out.

Baby steps, sure, but it made me feel better.
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Old 06-15-2011, 04:47 AM   #447
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So glad things are going well, Emily.

Also, I happen to love shopping, so I'm so glad to hear you liked it too.

...

On my end, I've taken some advice from you guys to be more true to myself where I can. So last week at volunteer work I saw this adorable little purse, and instead of checking it out while pretending to see how much it cost or whether I could make it look better on the display shelf or whatever, I just checked it out.

Baby steps, sure, but it made me feel better.
Alright!

Baby steps are the hardest, you know. One of the most difficult things I ever did was shave my legs. Not the whole legs, just above the shorts line where it wouldn't be visible, just to see what it would look like. It's a minor thing, but it took me a while to work up the courage, and I was afraid someone would find out and know I was trans, somehow.

Whereas until just a few days ago, I felt like I needed to wear a sign saying "I'm transsexual!" just to get people to view me as anything but a cissexual straight guy.

So basically, what you've done is a lot harder than what I've done recently, and you're awesome for it.
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Old 06-15-2011, 10:50 AM   #448
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Thank you.

I think the hardest step for me is still to come - telling my family. Yikes! Talk about nervous!

Also glad to hear that your mum accepts you for who you really are.
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Old 06-15-2011, 02:27 PM   #449
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Whew, Cliff, you checked out purses?

I feel terrible still if I check out swim suit bikinis. I feel like a pervert, even though I'm a girl. Sometimes I wonder if I'm really a gay man? Naw. Hell, I still wonder sometimes, though. Anyone who knew my interests would probably think so.

Dae is Dae. I don't know what else to be yet.
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Old 06-15-2011, 02:52 PM   #450
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I saw a funny comic on Transe-generation where a trans guy was singing "Make a Man Out of You" while injecting testosterone.

Anyway, more stuff about me.

I went out on a mother-daughter shopping trip and was not called "sir" once. We were referred to as "ladies" twice, though. Everybody seemed to view me as female, or if they thought otherwise, they didn't seem to show it.

Then I filed my name change request today. Finally.

Today was one of the best days ever.

EDIT: By the way, my real first name is Emily. Mara was a randomized name for a Warcraft character I played for like a few weeks before I got tired of the game.
That's fabulous news, Emily! When I stood before the judge, he was very discrete: "Miss Hignutt, so you wish to change your name for the reasons indicated on your petition?" "yes, your honor." "done"

It's a big step, and most of the rest just get more and more fun. They absolutely do get easier, too.
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