Return of a Man Named PAMB and its Quotes

[NewKidOldKid]

Originally Posted by Queen of Swords

Just saw this on the Facebook page, in response to the "pricing policy" letter:
Quote:
My experience with Publish America is limited at best. They accepted my first novel, <title>, and then lost the entire back half of the book which of course, includes the ending of the novel. I commented on this during the editing phase, asking them to allow me to furnish them the lost part of the book. Their argument was that reformatting would be costly and prohibitive.. They said they would publish what they have and then add "TO BE CONTINUED!" TO BE CONTINUED! Another words, after buying the novel and reading, the conclusion will be along later. I asked them Later when? Later where. people must pay twice for the same book? I think not! After a few quiries PA stopped answering my e mail on the matter. As it stands now, I have a book that I worked very hard on, recieved considerable positive feedback upon and it's impossible to sell. Needless to say, I'm not impresses.

Wow. Just...
I have no words...

[James D. Macdonald]

Originally Posted by ResearchGuy

Well, that explains much -- but not why the Worldwide Mystery Library folks chose that particularly awful book to reprint.

Maybe someone mis-remembered the title, got the wrong book, and no one noticed? There really were times at certain publishers where the first, and perhaps only, person to read a particular book would be the copyeditor (for example: latest volume in a long-running series by a best-selling author, delivered very close to the printer's deadline), and, if this was a reprint, maybe they skimped on that step too.

[Gillhoughly]

Grab your haz-mat suits and zip up. Willie the wanker is spewing at both ends again.

http://www.publishamerica.net/ceo050812.html

This is his most idiotic post yet--which is saying a lot.

The scary part? The Kool-aid addicts will nod and agree with him.

[Cyia]

Originally Posted by Gillhoughly

Grab your haz-mat suits and zip up. Willie the wanker is spewing at both ends again.

http://www.publishamerica.net/ceo050812.html

This is his most idiotic post yet--which is saying a lot.

The scary part? The Kool-aid addicts will nod and agree with him.

No one else takes a chance on so many authors, produces their work, formats it to the best printers' specs, creates unique cover art (and all the illustrations if it's a children's book), issues two or more ISBNs, and makes the book available to just about every bookstore worldwide, all at no charge.

Nobody except every commercial publisher in existence.

True Harper, Random, Macmillan, Penguin, et al don't put out the quantity of books PA does, but they DO format the books, hire cover artists, hire illustrators, issue ISBN for each edition of the book, and get the book to distributors / feature it in catalogs to bookstores nation and worldwide - ALL AT NO CHARGE TO THE AUTHORS.

They also content and copy edit the books they buy in order to make them sell better and keep the company's professional reputation in tact. They do this FOR FREE, WITHOUT CHARGING THE AUTHOR a dime.

Publishers BUY books from their authors. They SELL to readers.

Publishers DO NOT take money from their authors or charge them for ANYTHING that's part of a regular publishing deal.

Even Amazon's non-self-pubbing arm pays for the books they buy.

[pangalactic]

A few days ago I explained why book publishing comes with a built-in market. Authors buy books.

That may be the most truthful thing ever said by a PA employee.

[Gillhoughly]

A few days ago I explained why book publishing comes with a built-in market. Authors buy books.

But not their own books. Real publishers give them plenty of free copies.

Willie, you are so full of shit you must get hauled away in a Dumpster at least once a day.

[allenparker]

quoted from source above "But we make a profit on the other half. Which half? If only we could predict that beforehand."

May I suggest that you simply require a simple credit application? Then, you would know who could or couldn't afford to buy more books.

just a thought...

[DaveKuzminski]

Allen, are you sure they're intellectually capable of handling such a complicated form?

[Gillhoughly]

A few days ago I got this in from a potential PA victim who lives outside the US.

Dear -----------:

I am happy to inform you that PublishAmerica has decided to give your book the chance it deserves. We are offering to publish "title redacted". Initially, we will publish your book in the ebook format.

What, you don't want 99.00 for that? OTOH, it's an even cheaper way of running things, save a file and not print a copy at all. That way you can get rid of those finicky copy machines in the warehouse and can fire those workers.

Historically, PublishAmerica has not accepted submissions from your country, as the sales for such books are normally lower than those by an author living in America.

You're into negative numbers, since most of your authors never sell a single copy in the first place.

However, we are excited to start offering our free publication service to all authors, regardless of the country they reside in. That said, like all businesses, we have a responsibility to our employees

Hell no, it's the Stooges you're talking about here, not your minimum wage temps.

not to take risks when we can avoid doing so. Therefore, in order to insure that your new book has the greatest chance to be profitable, you may now pre-order one of our promotional services.

(W-T-F???)

In order to pre-purchase your promotional service, please go to: http://www.publishamerica.net/servic...alService.html. Must choose a shipping option to activate. No use of coupons is allowed.

Please let me know if you have any questions.

Yes--how the fucking hell can you look yourselves in the mirror every morning without throwing up?

Could your book use a little grammar help to give it that final, polished look? PublishAmerica has a book for that! The PublishAmerica Style Guide - get your print copy at: http://www.publishamerica.net/StyleGuide.html or if you prefer an e-book version: http://www.publishamerica.net/Publis...tyleGuide.html.

That's right, instead of having a copy editor do that, the way a real publisher does, try to sell the potential victim your lame, error-riddled overpriced book.

Sincerely,

Emily

(That's "Emily PublishAmerica" on your FB page and I'm shocked that you're still able to work there. You'd think the need to vomit twice a day at the lies you send to writers would have gotten to be too much by now. Unless, of course, "Emily" is just a front name for Miranda, who has a history of being unable to tell the truth. Miranda--quit this and look after your horse. Get a job in a stable. Shoveling manure is better, cleaner work than shoveling PA's rancid crap. Your headaches will stop and the hemorrhoids will vanish.)

Acquisitions Editor
PublishAmerica, LLLP
www.publishamerica.com
Follow us on Twitter at @PubAmericaNews!
Like us on Facebook: http://tinyurl.com/FacebookPublishAmerica.
PublishAmerica is hosting an author's convention June 15 in Atlanta. Register at www.authorsconvention.com.

[twm]

Even better @PubAmericaNews doesn't exist on Twitter.

[allenparker]

Originally Posted by Gillhoughly

A few days ago I got this in from a potential PA victim who lives outside the US.
(That's "Emily PublishAmerica" on your FB page and I'm shocked that you're still able to work there. )

I have wondered is there is more than one Emily and they just grab another one when one quits. It like, "Oh damn, she fired another one. Send in the next Emily..."

When the warehouse runs out, they go to Freda, then Gloria, and on through the alphabet.

[stormie]

Originally Posted by allenparker

I have wondered is there is more than one Emily and they just grab another one when one quits. It like, "Oh damn, she fired another one. Send in the next Emily..."

When the warehouse runs out, they go to Freda, then Gloria, and on through the alphabet.

Kind of like the hurricanes.

[Chris P]

Pre-ordering promotional services? Well, you gotta hand it to PA for being crafty. "We don't think this author will buy many copies, so let's sell a promotional service to make sure we get the money upfront."

I wonder if PA would drop the book if the author refused to buy the service?

[Richard Falk]

Over on the PAMB, another newbie has a taste of reality as a vanity-published author:

I recently had my first book published and this Monday I received my books. My book had mistakes in it, I had sent an email saying there were mistakes but they didn't get fixed. I have sold a few books but I wonder if PA will give any money back for them having mistakes

Money back? They'll probably charge try to charge you $99 for correcting those errors.

[Gillhoughly]

It's around $259.00. I saw it posted somewhere.

Willie still has the squirts. What a self-righeous adulterer he is. I hope his current wife covered her arse with a decent pre-nup.

http://www.publishamerica.net/ceo051012.html

I will venture to say he didn't write that entry as it has a better command of English than we usually see from him.

And we all know the writer--whose soft cover book is priced at a whopping 39.95 + 4.99 S&H-- paid that wanker 69.00 (+4.99) for the review. It's amazing that Willie was able to read a 722-page book in just a day, too! Or maybe that was delegated to some staff member?

Dear Published Author,

just so you know, your book's base price on Createspace would have been only 9.51.

You could sell it for 16.00 and make a 6.49 royalty, paid monthly.

PA's royalty payment at 8% would only get you 3.19 per sale.

Of course, no one is going to be terribly keen to buy a 44.94 softcover.

Except you. PA is--literally--banking on it.

[Katrina S. Forest]

Originally Posted by Chris P

Pre-ordering promotional services? Well, you gotta hand it to PA for being crafty. "We don't think this author will buy many copies, so let's sell a promotional service to make sure we get the money upfront."

I wonder if PA would drop the book if the author refused to buy the service?

That would be awesome, as many authors would dodge the bullet right there.

In fact, PA, I don't think you're going far enough. Send all potential authors a calendar of upcoming "promotions" and have them circle all the ones they want to participate in before signing a contract. Don't sign up any author who circles less than a dozen, as they're clearly not enthusiastic enough about their own book to be worth your time.

[nancy sv]

Can I just say my head is about to explode? I haven't read this thread for probably 6 months or more - can't handle it very often as it drives me crazy. Kudos to those of you who manage to keep up with what PA does!

[BenPanced]

Could your book use a little grammar help to give it that final, polished look? PublishAmerica has a book for that! The PublishAmerica Style Guide - get your print copy at: http://www.publishamerica.net/StyleGuide.html or if you prefer an e-book version: http://www.publishamerica.net/Publis...tyleGuide.html.

My publisher lets me download a copy of their in-house style guide for no charge. If I really want to get hardcore and play along at home, however, I'll have to shell out for the recent edition of the Chicago Manual of Style, which I did. But I had no problem with that; CMS is an industry standard and utilized by several publishing houses so if I happen to get picked up by another publisher, I'll have a style guide that makes sense and another editor will know.

[Manuel Royal]

Originally Posted by Gillhoughly

Grab your haz-mat suits and zip up. Willie the wanker is spewing at both ends again.

http://www.publishamerica.net/ceo050812.html

This is his most idiotic post yet--which is saying a lot.

The scary part? The Kool-aid addicts will nod and agree with him.

This statement smells like a flat lie:

Originally Posted by Li'l Willie

Bookstore sales comprise 20-30 pct of our revenue

Any way of determining if that's correct? I had the impression that a PA book actually being on a shelf in a real bookstore is a rarity.

Oh -- is the reviewer, "Edmund DuBois", a real person? He said a book had "an ending to cleanse the palette". Anybody can misspell a word, but in this case I think he doesn't know what the phrase means.

[Queen of Swords]

Question about foreign rights on the PAMB

Hello I am needing some info if anyone has the time to explain it to me. I'm really not understanding the selling of the foreign rights to my book or any book. What exactly does that mean for me the author and for PA? If I pay the 59$ to PA and they sell the rights to Lets say France do I get Xamount of $$ or does PA receive it and the Money from me and I have nothing to show for my $$? I understand I'm paying PA to strike a deal for the rights ; that's ok just wondering what I get in return if a deal is made and they purchase the rights.

The author joined the PAMB in October of last year, so perhaps the honeymoon glow is starting to wear off.

[James D. Macdonald]

France (the country) isn't interested in the rights.

What you're doing is giving PA the right to sell your book to a French publisher. Since, if I recall correctly, PA already took all world rights to your book, they could have done this already at any time without any additional payment from you.

What should happen then, assuming the book sells to a French publisher, is that the French publisher sends the advance (and any eventual royalties) to PA. PA keeps half (or whatever percentage the contract specifies for foreign and translation rights), and send the rest to you.

But the plain fact is that PA is completely incompetent at selling foreign rights and has no intention of trying. They just want your money.

[DreamWeaver]

Originally Posted by Manuel Royal

Any way of determining if that's correct? I had the impression that a PA book actually being on a shelf in a real bookstore is a rarity.

There are still occasional bookstores that will special order PA books for customers, usually prepaid. Since PA sales volume is so low, it's within the realm of stretched possibility that their bookstore sales via special order might approach that number. On the other hand, I'd bet the farm their bookstore sales coming from normally shelved books are infinitesimally small, if that big.


ETA: for the purists, let me reword that without the -ly adverbs: I'd bet the farm their bookstore sales coming from books shelved in the normal manner are so small as to be infinitesimal, if that big."

[kullervo]

When will they just say "send us ten grand and we'll send you a one-thousand-dollar royalty check you can show off to friends and family! Suitable for framing!"

L

[Miss Plum]

Originally Posted by Gillhoughly

A few days ago I got this in from a potential PA victim who lives outside the US.

That's right, instead of having a copy editor do that, the way a real publisher does, try to sell the potential victim your lame, error-riddled overpriced book.

Oh God, I lurk a lot here for -- odd reasons, I don't know -- and all I can say is, these people ought to just go full-on Nigerian.

Hello, Esteemed AUTHOR

I am writing to you in earnest because of the potential of earning millions of US Dollars for your book, "TITLED WORK." I am the son of Mr. Zamir Rimaz, recipient of the Supreme Master of Fine Arts degree from the University of Sorbonne in Boston, U.S. I have been authorized to offer you the millions of potential US dollars for TITLED WORK as your name has come to my attention through a network of reliable persons who have completed the qualifying task of obtaining an e-mail address.

Please respond to me immediately with a check in the amount of $560 so I may hire a detective to locate any quality in TITLED WORK, which may, God willing, earn millions of US dollars in the next year.

God Bless You,
Mizar Rimaz Zamir

[Stacia Kane]

Originally Posted by Miss Plum

Hello, Esteemed AUTHOR

I am writing to you in earnest because of the potential of earning millions of US Dollars for your book, "TITLED WORK." I am the son of Mr. Zamir Rimaz, recipient of the Supreme Master of Fine Arts degree from the University of Sorbonne in Boston, U.S. I have been authorized to offer you the millions of potential US dollars for TITLED WORK as your name has come to my attention through a network of reliable persons who have completed the qualifying task of obtaining an e-mail address.

Please respond to me immediately with a check in the amount of $560 so I may hire a detective to locate any quality in TITLED WORK, which may, God willing, earn millions of US dollars in the next year.

God Bless You,
Mizar Rimaz Zamir

Okay, that's hilarious.