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Old 10-15-2008, 08:14 AM   #26
bsolah
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I had always said the only good boss was a dead boss and I knew that for sure now as I smiled at the corpse in a suit sliding down the desk in front of me.
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Old 10-15-2008, 08:33 AM   #27
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What I heard was that he was six foot-two, six feet down, and at least six different kinds of pissed.
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Old 10-15-2008, 10:29 AM   #28
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Ray was nine years old when he committed his first murder.
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Old 10-15-2008, 12:20 PM   #29
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"Why Grandma, what big empty eye sockets you have!" said the man who was not her grandson.
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Old 10-15-2008, 02:00 PM   #30
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He stroked Jane's head lovingly, then placed it on the shelf next to the others.
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Old 10-15-2008, 02:40 PM   #31
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When the bum at the corner said he wanted to "eat me", I thought he was just one more pervert, at least until he aimed for my head.
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I'd say the main lesson to take from Stephen King's working life is: He's never stopped working. He's written sober. He's written drunk. He's written while recovering from horrendous injuries. He's written while working maggotty laundry jobs. He's written on long after he could have snuggled down into his royalties for the rest of his life.

Damn good lesson, that.
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Old 10-15-2008, 03:58 PM   #32
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Worms make lousy pets but it is entertaining when they eat your neighbors.
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Old 10-15-2008, 05:57 PM   #33
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The average human body holds about 6 quarts of blood, which is quite a lot when you see it smeared from one wall to the other.
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Old 10-15-2008, 06:43 PM   #34
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What strikes me the most is how quickly I can go from perfectly sane to perfectly insane.
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Old 10-15-2008, 07:21 PM   #35
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Steve could not begin to imagine, didn't want to imagine but couldn't stop himself from replaying again and again the image, even as a part of his mind balked and cowered, the thing that poked out for the briefest of seconds from behind the tree--stalking him.
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Old 10-15-2008, 07:34 PM   #36
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Williebee View Post
What I heard was that he was six foot-two, six feet down, and at least six different kinds of pissed.
Quote:
Originally Posted by scribbler1382 View Post
Ray was nine years old when he committed his first murder.
These are excellent!

Mine:

Elaine shuddered when her knife hit home.
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Old 10-15-2008, 08:27 PM   #37
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Danny Caffe was twenty-seven years old when he died, too bad no one told him.
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Old 10-15-2008, 09:10 PM   #38
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The trouble with home cooking is that by the time the fire dies, all the good parts are charred.
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Old 10-15-2008, 11:58 PM   #39
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I opened my 401k statement.
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Old 10-15-2008, 11:59 PM   #40
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I opened my 401k statement.
Probably be scarier if I was American.

Oops! Looks like I've been busted. Have to post another opening as penance. Let's see...


Removing the bastard's teeth probably would have been easier if I'd gone through the mouth, but where's the fun in that?
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Old 10-16-2008, 03:32 AM   #41
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Demons and conjurings and dark concoctions; I can understand why Father was tempted by these things, even why he indentured his soul...until I inherited his debt.
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Old 10-16-2008, 06:32 AM   #42
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Still agitated, the parrot at the crime scene climbed the sides of his cage, squawked and called out, "Is that the bogeyman?"
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Old 10-16-2008, 07:28 AM   #43
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When my CEOs son took up the desk next to me at Monday morning, I knew his blood would have to be spilled onto his monitor by Friday afternoon.
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Old 10-16-2008, 08:05 AM   #44
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John was a bright guy, and an excellent worker with a great future, but his habit of killing our CEOs and their children didn't fit in well with our business plan, so we had no choice but to murder him.
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Old 10-16-2008, 09:28 PM   #45
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My death was never reported to the police.
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Old 10-16-2008, 11:34 PM   #46
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Old 10-17-2008, 05:51 AM   #47
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Quote:
Originally Posted by scribbler1382 View Post
Probably be scarier if I was American.
Oh, no! This post has no entry! Please edit your post to include an entry in the game. This is not a chitchat thread, scribbler!

My entry:

I woke up naked under the golden gate bridge with my mouth full of blood and torn flannel pajamas.

edit to add:

Thank you, scribbler! Go in peace and sin no more.

Edit to add an entry because this is not a chitchat thread:

My fingers wouldn't stop strangling people.
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Old 10-17-2008, 06:14 AM   #48
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If that furkin' skeleton sez, 'roll dem bones' one more time, I'm going to dissolve his in acid.
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Old 10-17-2008, 07:57 AM   #49
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I set knife to skin and traced a detailed outline down my forearm.
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Old 10-17-2008, 10:54 AM   #50
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I heard the soft pop before I felt the warmth on my thumb, "Eye juice... eww."
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