Comedy Cabaret Post Christmas, Hanukkah, Solstice, Festivus Let Down Thread

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Jaycinth

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Same Psychosis...different day.
***This is the part of town your mother warned you about. But you come here anyway. You heard the rumors. The truth is, well, interesting.

The cab driver chuckled when he let you out on the corner. He knows all about it. After all, he comes down here a few times a night.

You’re standing in front of a club. Through the windows you can see the patrons dancing. You’ve been in that club before. But it is not your destination tonight.
No.
This evening you walk past the club and turn down the poorly lit alley. You pass a dumpster. The resident accosts you, but you knowthe routine and you’ve brought along a couple bottles of Nighttrain to pay the toll.

A cat hisses and a dog snarls. You’re used to it. The requisite number of bacon wrapped steak nuggets always does the trick.

It’s a dead end. But to your left, there’s a door. You know the signal. You get in. The 1,200-pound yak knows you; you’ve never caused any trouble.
You descend the stairs, familiar scents drift past your nose. The cloak dude takes your coat and you walk through the door into.............***


Welcome to the Comedy Cabaret!
I’m glad to see you here.
..Quite frankly, I’m glad to see any of you here.
.... so you’ll be happy to know we’ll no longer be offering sushi.
On the bright side, though,
I’ve hired a new chef.
His name is Melkeesadeck
That’s right. Just like the bible, but spelled funny.
I call him ‘Mel’
He calls me, ah, ...it doesn’t translate well.
But...he knows how long to boil a cheeseburger,
and how many times to hit it, too.
Seriously folks,
The bar is well stocked,
I know what you all prefer,
Your servers are ‘Cindy’ and ‘Ron’. They work for tips, so please be generous.

As for the teenagers hiding out in the back of the bar, I know who you are. See that black light enhanced beaded curtain? Through that curtain is the arcade. You can purchase an arm band for a joke and play all day, but no way is the bartender going to give you anything stronger than a double chocolate mocha-latte malted shake.

So folks, make yourselves comfortable. Order a drink and sit a spell, or grab the mike.

It is ALWAYS open mike night in this caberet.

And, now, I’m going to step off the stage, and open it up to you. Tell a joke or a quip and anecdote or sing your favorite ‘comedy song’.
***steps off stage and meanders to the back of the club to watch.***
 

cray

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ya.


and i dare say, if anyone has to use the can, NOW is prolly the best time.
 

quickWit

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I had something for this...
Hang on, haggis...I'm chucking a whiz over here.

*squeezes last few drops*


Hey, do you guys know there's no can in this place?
 

cray

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see, haggis.
....i told you qw doesn't know $h*t.

should have put leukman in charge! :D
 

Haggis

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Leukman? We'd all be walking around with cheeseball-stuffed cheeks. And we still wouldn't have a can.
 

regdog

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New thread.

**Steps over suspicious looking raisinettes**

Meh, looks and smells like the old thread.
 

cray

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g'morning red.
hello haggis.


in case you all don't know the final score it was





eagles 59

jaycinth's team 28
 

regdog

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Steps away from cray
 

regdog

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Attention Cabbies, our chihuey is 20,000 posts old today


bacon.jpg

glenfiddich-50-year-old-single-malt_zTRVB_52.jpg
 

cray

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*eats bacon.*


*washes it down with the hooch*






what were you saying, reg?
 

regdog

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cray

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haggis?

i totally disagree.
...a little slow at times but all in all he's fun to have around.
 
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