On the job...

James McElroy · Jan 15, 2011

Do you work in a job that directly connects you with customers? Well, then this is the place for you! Discuss customer fails, complaints, and anything else that may make you angry during, but made you laugh later. Post your own and discuss others.

Well, I work at a movie theater in a mall and all I can say is wow.

Last Friday night, we kicked out at least 30 teens from Little Fockers and like 5 from Gullivers Travels (

). One of them was permanently banned.

Well one of them who looked maybe 12 got kicked out after multiple customer complaints about him talking by my co-worker Joey. The kid was yelling and cussing at me and Joey. Joey said, "Dude, you're like 12." The kid responded in a squeaky voice, "I'm 16, B****." And continued freaking out on us as we escorted him out. It was funny.

Another kid was kicked out with a group of kids for talking. He kept coming back inside, so we kept telling him to leave. He kept telling us to shut up.

Another kid was kicked out for trying to see two movies on one ticket and yelling at my manager for telling her that that was stealing. She didn't understand how it was stealing. Then, she goes outside and complains to us that she is cold. She was wearing shorts and a tshirt and no coat. It is the middle of january and had been slowing pretty bad all day. Fail.

Have fun.

Mr Flibble · Jan 15, 2011

Most of my humdingers are here: http://www.absolutewrite.com/forums/showthread.php?t=194858&highlight=retail
Although we did have a rather stupid chap stealing beer from us last weekend - hides his face from camera as he comes into shop, fails to notice all the other cameras and gives us a lovely full face shot AND parks close enough we get his license number. He's now on remand

James McElroy · Jan 15, 2011

Wow, that is an epic fail. Stupid people make life fun. That other topic is amazing, but hasn't been posted on in about 3 months.

Caitlin Black · Jan 15, 2011

I've now worked 3 days in a Salvos store.

The only customer complaint I have is regarding one woman who was very weird.

She was walking near the counter where I was on register, and she said, "Very nice stuff gets donated here." So I looked at what she was looking at and said, "Yes, we do get a lot of nice things."

Then she said to me, "When I die, all my stuff is getting donated here."

This threw me a little, I must say. All I could think to say was, "That's very generous of you."

Suddenly she looks hurt and angry, like I've uttered the worst blasphemy ever. I'm thinking, "Well, you brought up the topic of your untimely demise. Don't blame me." Then I thought maybe she had misheard me, so I repeated myself, "I said, that's very generous of you."

She now looks relieved and says "Thank you." Suffice to say, when she wandered off into the middle of the store, I didn't follow her and keep chatting. She was basically an explosion waiting to happen. Talking about her death, then presumably having such bad hearing that if I said anything she'd assume I was being rude...

I didn't need that kind of thing on my first day on register.

Lavern08 · Jan 15, 2011

Example of a phone conversation I had a few months ago:

ME: Hi, this is Lavern. How may I help you?

CALLER: I got this form you sent me with an arrow on it that reads "Sign Here," so I was just wondering, where do I sign?

I am soooooo not kidding! :flag:

backslashbaby · Jan 15, 2011

One I don't think I've ever told on here:

Massively rude, yelling lady is at my table (in a little French restaurant) with a dashing gentleman. He looks very sorry for me. Yelling Lady screams things at me to get for her, things we don't do for folks. My manager explains she's one of the few remaining XXXs ('the' family in town). Ah! I got it. I'd kick her butt out, myself, but I got it.

It was just ludicrous waiting on her. At the end, her companion had asked me to wrap her steak for her, so I brought out her pretty aluminum foil takeout swan. She tried to throw it at my head.

No tip, and she has more money than God. Figures

WittyWordsmith · Jan 15, 2011

In a very recent past life, I was a barista. An excellent one, mind you. (Obviously, I miss it... LOL.)

Anyway, I had a lady almost hit me when I very politely told her that we did not have whole milk, but that I could make her a delicious latte with Half & Half cut with 2% and it would taste the same... She tore her money out of my hand so fast it gave me a paper cut. Then she shouted at me and cussed at me. A year later, I still remember her face and curse her.

That b*tch missed out on the best latte of her life! LOL!!!

On a lighter side... I had a young college boy once order a bran muffin (the most un-sexy breakfast food on earth). As was customary, I asked him if he wanted it heated up for a few seconds (in the microwave that I pointed at.)

He actually told me, "Hunny, you can warm up my muffin any day." About a BRAN MUFFIN.

I looked at him totally incredulously and said, "REALLY?!?"

He said no. Then grabbed his muffin and I never saw him again.

Oh, to be a young, hard-up college boy. If anything, I hope he learned never to attempt seduction over a fiber-rich food.

Caitlin Black · Jan 15, 2011

WittyWordsmith said:
Oh, to be a young, hard-up college boy. If anything, I hope he learned never to attempt seduction over a fiber-rich food.

Ahahahahaahaahaahahahahahaa!!! Comedy gold!

There are tears in my eyes! Kudos.

James McElroy · Jan 16, 2011

Lavern08 said:
Example of a phone conversation I had a few months ago:

ME: Hi, this is Lavern. How may I help you?

CALLER: I got this form you sent me with an arrow on it that reads "Sign Here," so I was just wondering, where do I sign?

I am soooooo not kidding!

Wow, that is awesome.

Whenever we have an out of order sign on our pop machine, we have customers move the sign out of their way to see what they want to get. Then, they yell at us for it not working.

They do similar stuff with the ice machine. When we have an out of order sign on it, customers move the sign, push the lever, and complain that the machine isn't working.

Button · Jan 16, 2011

backslashbaby said:
One I don't think I've ever told on here:

Massively rude, yelling lady is at my table (in a little French restaurant) with a dashing gentleman. He looks very sorry for me. Yelling Lady screams things at me to get for her, things we don't do for folks. My manager explains she's one of the few remaining XXXs ('the' family in town). Ah! I got it. I'd kick her butt out, myself, but I got it.

It was just ludicrous waiting on her. At the end, her companion had asked me to wrap her steak for her, so I brought out her pretty aluminum foil takeout swan. She tried to throw it at my head.

No tip, and she has more money than God. Figures

This is normal for old ladies. They'll complain A LOT and then never tip.

kayleamay · Jan 16, 2011

I'm wondering if I should even bother posting in this thread or if it's best to let people continue to imagine that those who come to the emergency room at 3 a.m. are simply kind sicklings in need of medical attention.

jennontheisland · Jan 16, 2011

This thread is why I'll never go back to food service.

I just don't have the patience any more for those families that sit at the table for 30 minutes, repeatedly refusing help with the menu, offers to answer questions, and being totally oblivious to the fact that we don't actually offer free refills on "sodas" ... and then they finally have a question: "Do you have hamburgers or hot dogs?"

It was a Chinese restaurant.

BeatrixKiddo · Jan 16, 2011

James McElroy said:
Do you work in a job that directly connects you with customers? Well, then this is the place for you! Discuss customer fails, complaints, and anything else that may make you angry during, but made you laugh later. Post your own and discuss others.

Well, I work at a movie theater in a mall and all I can say is wow.

Last Friday night, we kicked out at least 30 teens from Little Fockers and like 5 from Gullivers Travels (). One of them was permanently banned.

Well one of them who looked maybe 12 got kicked out after multiple customer complaints about him talking by my co-worker Joey. The kid was yelling and cussing at me and Joey. Joey said, "Dude, you're like 12." The kid responded in a squeaky voice, "I'm 16, B****." And continued freaking out on us as we escorted him out. It was funny.

Another kid was kicked out with a group of kids for talking. He kept coming back inside, so we kept telling him to leave. He kept telling us to shut up.

Another kid was kicked out for trying to see two movies on one ticket and yelling at my manager for telling her that that was stealing. She didn't understand how it was stealing. Then, she goes outside and complains to us that she is cold. She was wearing shorts and a tshirt and no coat. It is the middle of january and had been slowing pretty bad all day. Fail.

Have fun.

I still enjoy going to the movies but I really can't stand teenagers these days. And cell phones have made things worse. I am so tired of hearing their conversations through the entire movie. It's like they all have A.D.D. or something these days. No manners, no respect for others (or themselves for that matter), horrible tempers at younger and younger ages. The "tweens" scare me more then the older teenagers sometimes with what I hear coming out of their mouths. They don't care who they offend. Swearing, nasty attitudes. Ugh. If I notice a group that happens to sit close to me after I sit down, I get up an move farther away. I feel your pain. It must be a terribly thankless job sometimes. I suppose it's also gotten a bit dangerous as well. I've even heard stories over the past few years of people having knives or guns pulled on them if they tell a person to be quiet. Humans are nuts.

Silver King · Jan 16, 2011

WittyWordsmith said:
...On a lighter side... I had a young college boy once order a bran muffin (the most un-sexy breakfast food on earth). As was customary, I asked him if he wanted it heated up for a few seconds (in the microwave that I pointed at.)

He actually told me, "Hunny, you can warm up my muffin any day."

I said something similar once to an employee who was helping me find an item in a store. When she said, "Would you care to follow me?" I told her, "I'd follow you anywhere."

I don't know why I said that at the time. It just came out without any forethought whatsoever.

And I'll never forget how she turned and looked at me, so beautiful and so completely out of my league. She smiled and said, "I can't believe you said that."

After finding my voice, I croaked, "I can't believe it either."

As I was leaving, she said, "I like how you said it with meaning."

I almost tripped over my feet, then sat in my car for the longest time debating whether to go back into that store and talk to her again.

James McElroy · Jan 16, 2011

BeatrixKiddo said:
I still enjoy going to the movies but I really can't stand teenagers these days. And cell phones have made things worse. I am so tired of hearing their conversations through the entire movie. It's like they all have A.D.D. or something these days. No manners, no respect for others (or themselves for that matter), horrible tempers at younger and younger ages. The "tweens" scare me more then the older teenagers sometimes with what I hear coming out of their mouths. They don't care who they offend. Swearing, nasty attitudes. Ugh. If I notice a group that happens to sit close to me after I sit down, I get up an move farther away. I feel your pain. It must be a terribly thankless job sometimes. I suppose it's also gotten a bit dangerous as well. I've even heard stories over the past few years of people having knives or guns pulled on them if they tell a person to be quiet. Humans are nuts.

Exactly. And people have a tendency to shoot the messenger if we tell them that something is wrong with the theater or projector or anything. It seriously can be scary.

Caitlin Black · Jan 16, 2011

Silver King said:
As I was leaving, she said, "I like how you said it with meaning."

I almost tripped over my feet, then sat in my car for the longest time debating whether to go back into that store and talk to her again.

You totally should have. I've had a number of moments like that, where there's been unexpected flirting, and I've never pursued the matter. I always kicked myself after those experiences.

Confidence. I need it.

bettielee · Jan 16, 2011

I work in a plumbing place. I am not a plumber.

I get calls that go "I need the thing that goes under the thing that goes up and down when you turn the handle."

"What kind of faucet do you have?"

"One with handles."

"Yes, but what is the make/model of the faucet."

"It's just your typical faucet."

Sometimes, I want to say, wait, does this faucet emit water when you turn the handle? Cuz if it emitted chocolate when you turn the handle, you just need an xyz, but for WATER when you turn the handle IT DEPENDS ON THE FARKING MAKE AND MODEL YOU DORKFACED REJECT!"

Caitlin Black · Jan 17, 2011

Anyway, I worked today. There weren't specifically any stupid or annoying people in the store today... but certainly a few who deviated from "normal".

First up there was the guy who looked about 60, who bought a jacket. Then he started talking to me at length about "older" style clothes, for about 5 minutes. He said the jacket was probably early 70s because of such and such, and then he showed me a flap on his pants (to do them up with buttons, even though there's a clip and a zipper) and pointed out how it was extra wide and long, with 2 buttons, because it's also from the early 70s, whereas the flaps you see on pants nowadays are pretty small and usually only have one button...

I can't tell you how thrilled I was to talk to this guy about clothes from the early 70s, a period of time during which I wasn't even alive.

Pretty soon after he left, there were 2 girls who came into the store, and they were laughing and joking and yelling to each other to "Come check out this pleated skirt!" and things like that. They were in there for about 25 minutes, then came to the counter. 1 asked to look at a locket in the display case, looked at it for 2 minutes, looked completely miserable all of a sudden, and then said she didn't want to buy it. Meanwhile, her friend is looking sullen and drained of colour, nervous even, and has exactly 1 item she wants to buy.

So I put it through the register and tell her it comes to $7, and she can't look me in the eye and is mumbling, and doesn't look happy. They leave suddenly quiet.

Now, these 2 girls couldn't have been more than 13 years old. I have several theories about their behaviour. The first is that the locket girl had been reminded of an ex boyfriend by the locket, and that's why she was depressed, and her friend picked up on it and empathised. The second theory is that they both had a sudden onset of depression, right around the time they approached the counter. The third theory is that the girl buying the piece of clothing, who couldn't look me in the eye and seemed suddenly docile and sullen, thought I was cute and didn't know how to react. Because I don't have that high of an ego, I'm going to rank that theory least likely. The last theory is that they were about to steal something, and their cover was that they would buy one thing and steal 3 others.

In any event, quite weird behaviour. And there were no adults with them. I don't know if times have changed that much, but when I was 13 I wasn't allowed to go out in public without an adult, even if I was with a friend...

And then there was a very offputting man who came to the counter, about 10 minutes after the girls left. He looked, if I may put it in such terms, like someone had recently stabbed him in the eye, and it hadn't healed. He was actually a very nice person, so perhaps the stabbing happened quite some time ago...

All in all, an interesting 45 minutes!

Mr Flibble · Jan 17, 2011

bettielee said:
Sometimes, I want to say, wait, does this faucet emit water when you turn the handle? Cuz if it emitted chocolate when you turn the handle, you just need an xyz, but for WATER when you turn the handle IT DEPENDS ON THE FARKING MAKE AND MODEL YOU DORKFACED REJECT!"

Ask them what pattern their escutcheon is, and if they have a flange or a knob with it. :evil

I really miss the innuendos of the building trade.

JimmyB27 · Jan 17, 2011

I work for a car company, and while I'm two steps away from the people who drive our cars, technically the retailers are our customers, and the girls who sit opposite me deal with them every day. I hear a lot of the fun they have dealing with them.
For example, we often send out letters stating various bits, wheels etc, are restricted for a certain month - limited stock or whatever - and invariably, there will be retailers calling going "that letter you sent out saying wheel xxx isn't available until March, is that right?" Nope, we just thought it would be funny to say so...

Vito · Jan 17, 2011

I moonlighted in a liquor store for a couple years when I was in my 20s. Most of the customers were total screwballs, but they were harmless -- unlike the guy who came in and robbed me at gunpoint one night.

jennontheisland · Jan 17, 2011

IdiotsRUs said:
Ask them what pattern their escutcheon is, and if they have a flange or a knob with it.

I really miss the innuendos of the building trade.

Mandoor.

Grease nipple.

Priming the pump.

I love my job.

Mr Flibble · Jan 17, 2011

Tee hee

Had a right load of lads in today - all about 16/17. One of them sneaks (badly - assistant saw him) reduced labels off two items and places them on the drinks he wanted to buy. He was not even smart enough to ensure the two labels had the same lowered price on for the two identical drinks he wanted.

He brings them to the till. I say, 'These aren't reduced - we saw you put the labels on.'

'No, no, I didn't.' *goes all cocky* 'Anyway, you have to sell them to me now, or that's false advertising'

'Wrong! I can withdraw them from sale. Like this, see?' *puts drinks behind counter*

Bloke's mate 'No you can't. I know, I'm studying business studies!'

'You should revise more, because you're talking rubbish. Google 'invitation to treat'.'

'Oh man, you're screwing me out of money. You can't do that! I'm going to report you to Trading Standards!'

'Really? Shame. Allrighty then, you're barred instead.'

'But--wait--why?'

'I don't like brunettes.'

Mate: 'But you have to give a proper reason.'

'Nope. I can refuse to serve anyone I damn well please for any reason I please. Thank you, don't come again!'

There are times I quite like this job.

Ken · Jan 17, 2011

... when I worked in a supermarket, years back, I had a tactic. Whenever customers came near me to pester me with a question I'd growl. Lots of regular customers shopped there so after awhile they let me be.

JimmyB27 · Jan 17, 2011

Ken said:
... when I worked in a supermarket, years back, I had a tactic. Whenever customers came near me to pester me with a question I'd growl. Lots of regular customers shopped there so after awhile they let me be.

See, that's the sort of thing I'd treat as a challenge to brighten an otherwise tedious day. Make it a game to spot the ones heading your way to ask something, and outmaneuver them. I do it with chuggers on the street.

On the job...

AXEL

They've been very bad, Mr Flibble

AXEL

Wild one

Sit Down, and Shut Up!

~~~~*~~~~

Wild one

AXEL

Resident in Question

I'm on the phone.

the world is at my command

Is it summer yet???

Megalops Erectus

AXEL

Wild one

I'm a sparkly fairy princess!

Wild one

They've been very bad, Mr Flibble

Hoopy frood

Recalled to life

the world is at my command

They've been very bad, Mr Flibble

Hoopy frood

*