Ask A Stupid Question, Get a Stupid Answer (Volume II)

Only if you believe in Abba songs.


How come all the other saints didn't get a big holiday? I mean, have you ever heard of St. Brian's Day, where everyone wear pastel?

Ask that woman who pushed down the pope, she probably had something to do with it.

Do you like saints or sinners?

Depends which is cheaper.

Who's the patron saint of America?

Oprah Winfrey.

(Actually, there are more than one.)


What is the greatest invention of all time?

Mexican jumping beans.

Mexican wave?

It's because it's blue.

Does black eyed peas see in colour?

They do, according to Will.I.Am.

Did the authorities make you aware that I'm loose in Stockholm at the moment?

The Swedish authorities never make important announcements in good time before the even, if you want to know something you need to look it up on the internet.

What's the best way to capture an invisible thief?

Set an invisible trap.

What's the best way to play ice hockey if you can't skate?

Play field hockey instead. If you absolutely have to be on ice, put sand on it first.

How do you kill a Klingon with two toothpicks and a tomato?

I wanna know!!!!!!!!!
What if the tv is off?

You always are.

Why do I feel like ****?

LizaJane said:

Why do I feel like ****?

Click to expand...

Four stars! Congratulations! Keep the good work up.

What would happen if pigs suddenly could fly?

The man on the moon would die.

Why do people ask why?

They obviously want to know.

Isn't the better question, "What?'

'What' can be pretty evasive sometimes.

When do you need the answer?

I forgot the question.
Are you feeling *&@#?

If you mean my headache, yes.

Why didn't someone remind me to get drunk tonight?

Absolutely.

Pass the bottle?

I would but it seems stuck in my hand ; )

When I get this why don't I understand?

I don't understand, either.

Should we ask Kelly to explain it to us?

But my Hershey's special dark chocolate bar is full of antioxidants.

Or are all of those so called health experts just full of it?

Yes.
Where's the bottle?

On the wall.

Did you take it down and pass it around?

It depends on what you're talking about.

Are Cheez-Its considered a vegetable?