Comedy Cabaret--2012 Road Trip
- Thread starter Jaycinth
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Haggis and cray who are airplane mechanics are in a hangar at JFK New York.
It's fogged in and they have nothing to do. cray says to Haggis, "Man, have you got anything to drink?"
Haggis says, "Nah, but I hear you can drink jet fuel, and it will kinda give you a buzz."
So they do drink it, get smashed and have a great time, like only drinking buddies can.
The following morning, Haggis wakes up and he just knows his head will explode if he gets up, but it doesn't. He gets up and feels good. In fact, he feels great! No hangover!
The phone rings and it's cray. He says, "Hey, how do you feel?"
"Great", Haggis said! "Just great"!
cray says, "Yeah, I feel great too, and no hangover. That jet fuel stuff is great. We should do this more often!
Haggis says, "Yeah, we could, but there's just one thing . . .”
"What's that?"
"Did you fart yet?"
"No . . .”
"Well, DON'T, 'cause I'm in Phoenix"
ETA: Look at this again.
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Cella was at a bar sucking down some Amaretto Stone Sours when a some guy walks over and sits right next to her. He introduces himself as Quickwit.
He says, “What brings you here?”
Cella responds, “Just here for some drinks and to relax”.
For every drink Quickwit buys himself, he buys a drink for Cella.
They are both feeling really good, so Quickwit asks, “Do you want to get out of here?”
“Sure.”
“Your place or mine?”
Cella thinks and then says, “Mine. But I have to warn you. I have my menstrual cycle.”
Quickwit says, “That’s okay. I have a Yamaha, I’ll follow you home.”
He says, “What brings you here?”
Cella responds, “Just here for some drinks and to relax”.
For every drink Quickwit buys himself, he buys a drink for Cella.
They are both feeling really good, so Quickwit asks, “Do you want to get out of here?”
“Sure.”
“Your place or mine?”
Cella thinks and then says, “Mine. But I have to warn you. I have my menstrual cycle.”
Quickwit says, “That’s okay. I have a Yamaha, I’ll follow you home.”
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- Joined
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- www.tranquiligeek.com
I hear she's into using land mines now but I've haven't checked ...
heeeeyy ...
Fetch Haggis .. Fetch
heeeeyy ...
Fetch Haggis .. Fetch
Look at you there, Porter. New avvy. A Chihuahua. Nice hat. Trying to get rid of me.
You want my gig, don't you? Trying to snare my wimmins. Well, I won't have it, Mister. No, sir. Ain't gonna happen. Wouldn't be prudent.
A thousand points of light.
*pant...pant...pant*
You want my gig, don't you? Trying to snare my wimmins. Well, I won't have it, Mister. No, sir. Ain't gonna happen. Wouldn't be prudent.
A thousand points of light.
*pant...pant...pant*
Hardly.
See?
Uh....
Yeah. That's it. That's the ticket. Uh-huh.
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