The Line of the Day--NO CRITTING

Ken Hoss · Aug 27, 2011

Great line, Carleree, and so true!

No new lines for me in 5 days! I really need to concentrate, get motivated and keep my BIC.

Carleree · Aug 27, 2011

Ken Hoss · Aug 28, 2011

Got my BIC and did some writing today, 925 words!

Some brand new stuff, hot off the presses.

Kelli is with the head of the Gang Unit, trying to get more information on two of the gangs in Washington Heights.

***WARNING - PG - LANGUAGE ***

Kelli sat in Lieutenant Franklin’s office, reading over one of the files he had handed to her. She had to admit, the Gang Unit knew more than she had ever suspected. She looked up from the file and the Lieutenant had a grin on his face.

“Didn’t know all the shit, did you, Detective?”

Kelli shook her head. “I thought I knew these gangs, but from what I see here, I was barely scratching the surface. You’ve even got shit in here on Carlos Rodriguez that I didn’t know, and I was watching the son of a bitch for over a year.”

His grin widened. “Wait until you see what we’ve got on the Trinitarios. You won’t believe it.”

Dix · Aug 29, 2011

Sometimes, friendship becomes more, as though a molecular interchange takes place from breathing the same air. This was true of the man and the dog. They found contentment in the easy familiarity of each other's company, one not intruding on the other yet neither feeling alone.

(I am not sure if each other's is correct.)

heyjude · Aug 29, 2011

Aw, Dix. So sweet.

Ken Hoss · Sep 24, 2011

Wow! I can't believe no one has posted to this thread since August! Okay, I'll get it back to the top with the following lines from my current WIP, Storm Warning.

Kelli is at the hospital after her Mother suffers a stroke. It's bad enough the woman has Alzheimer's, now this. You might want to break out the kleenex.

Kelli sat quietly beside her Mother’s bed, listening to the reassuring beeps from the heart monitor, watching the slow rise and fall of her Mother’s chest. She looked up at Kevin, standing beside her, his eyes wet from tears. She reached out, took his hand in hers, and gently squeezed. “She’s going to be okay, she has to be,” she said, hot tears rolling down her cheeks.

Sassy3421 · Sep 24, 2011

very nice Ken!

Ken Hoss · Sep 25, 2011

Have another one I just wrote today. Kelli and Kevin are still at the hospital in her Mother's room. Those of you who have read book one know about Kelli's issues with her faith.

She pulled away and whirled around to face him. “Faith is for people who believe. I stopped believing after God took my Dad away from me. Now he’s punishing my Mom, making her suffer, and for what? If God is really up there, why do so many bad things happen? Don’t talk to me about faith or God, I don’t believe in either one.”

Namatu · Sep 26, 2011

Nice, Ken. Good idea to revive this thread.

This is a short bit. My MC is contemplating a past problem in her relationship with the guy she loves.

I probably would have made the same choice.

I understood it.

I loved him.

It wasn't his fault.

But sometimes I still blamed him.

cbenoi1 · Sep 27, 2011

Fresh from the netbook.

I mastered the art of on-stage improvisation at an early age. In Mrs Donovan’s third grade class, I played my version of the “my-dog-ate-my-homework” role in front of the entire classroom, tears and all. My performance blew everyone away. It was a show of raw acting talent I was not going to be able to repeat in the years that followed for reasons that still elude me to this day.

-cb

heyjude · Sep 27, 2011

Wonderful lines, everyone.

Glad to see this thread revived.

Zelenka · Sep 27, 2011

Yay, this thread is back! Great lines everybody.

Logan! · Sep 27, 2011

My criminal MC just rented an apartment in a continuing attempt to impress his new lady friend and hide his illicit ways.

Now he had no excuse. He could continue to string her along, play into the facade that he was Joe Shmoe, common middle-class folk and not Harry Lowell, ex-con/strongarm/killer. Every instinct told him that things would not end well—something else told that instinct to go fuck itself and kept Lowell bending over backwards for Kathleen.

Ken Hoss · Sep 27, 2011

Great lines, everyone!

I don't know how the thread "died" and got relagated to "PAGE TWO", but it's back and you guys are hitting it with a vengance. Let's keep the thread alive.

Namatu, it's ALWAYS the guys fault. (At least that's what we're told.)

cbenoi1, I think I played that role once or twice in grammer school. Good lines.

Logan!, first of all, welcome! :welcome:

Your MC's life sounds complicated. I'd definitely read more. Good stuff.

jazzman99 · Sep 27, 2011

From the Poe pastiche I just submitted to the "Spirit of Poe" anthology. It was interesting trying to write in a style so completely unlike my own.

I have sat beside my brother’s body for an hour now, writing this in the uncertain light of a dim emergency bulb, which illuminates also the portrait of our father which hangs above me. It was this, surely, that he and I both saw, this that led us to leap at each other. It was exhaustion and stress, surely, which led me to imagine other hands and voices urging us on, driving us past reason to a place where only murder would answer the cry of blood. It cannot be that our father carried out his revenge on us for shortening the life of his love; it cannot be that the Founder expressed through us once more his love of chaos and collapse.

Dix · Sep 27, 2011

jazzman99 said:
From the Poe pastiche I just submitted to the "Spirit of Poe" anthology. It was interesting trying to write in a style so completely unlike my own.

Really well done!

Carleree · Sep 28, 2011

I haven't posted anything in quite a while. I like to keep y'all on your toes, wondering when I'll shove a piece of my writing down your throats.

The thing about shopping at night is that you’re left with the dregs. The store, Supersave Market, was like the ghost of grocery stores’ past, if that past included an apocalyptic famine. The shelves were all picked over. The bananas were separated, not left in a bunch. The tomatoes and apples were a tad on the bruised side. And the people, well, they weren’t there to win a fashion contest. A Hallowe’en costume contest maybe.

heyjude · Sep 29, 2011

Excellent, everyone! You're inspiring me.

ironmikezero · Sep 30, 2011

"I really don't give a damn that you thought this would be your last job - you screwed up and killed the wrong woman!"

"Shit, Mom! I said I was sorry... I'll fix it."

heyjude · Sep 30, 2011

I'd like to see him fix that...

Zelenka · Oct 4, 2011

I have a really gross murder now in my book, but in the middle of it I did this, and I kinda liked it.

St Vitus’ cathedral’s dark spires loomed over them beyond the tree tops, black against the cloudless blue sky, like the beaks of two great crows pecking at the sky, or rather, thought Stejskal as he glanced up at them, like the beaks of those crows that had made such a good job or their victim.

heyjude · Oct 4, 2011

Nice vivid imagery!

Namatu · Oct 4, 2011

Definitely. Awesome, Zelenka.

tarak · Oct 7, 2011

Nice jobs, everyone!

Carleree, I think I've shopped at that Supersave.

Jilly McGilly · Oct 10, 2011

Here's a bit from a scene where bad guys attack my MC. Seems my MC is always getting herself into trouble.

I looked up through my arms, which had crossed themselves of their own volition, bravely offering up themselves so the rest of me might survive.

The Line of the Day--NO CRITTING

Storm Rising A Kelli Storm Novel

Queen of Catastrophes

Storm Rising A Kelli Storm Novel

So, is that a no?

Making my own sunshine

Storm Rising A Kelli Storm Novel

Plotting murder..most of the time

Storm Rising A Kelli Storm Novel

Lost in mental space.

Making my own sunshine

Going home!

Storm Rising A Kelli Storm Novel

Recovering Academic

So, is that a no?

Queen of Catastrophes

Making my own sunshine

practical experience, FTW

Making my own sunshine

Going home!

Making my own sunshine

Lost in mental space.

for certain qualities of "sane"

Crumpled!