Way off the beaten path, but since I'm beatin' it ... Radio L33T!
Some friends and I used to do a sports-radio show in Portugal for the American military audience there Saturdays. Big fun. I have audio snippets if you're interested. Hee-larry-us.
However, one of the outgrowths of the show was encapsulating some of the best moments in L33T form.
It helps if you play EVerquest, World of Warcraft or have read anything by Tolkien. It also helps to know that one of the hosts was a huge Yankees fan, another a huge Red WIngs fan and another got deployed to Iraq about three months into our show's 14-month run.
It's below. Enjoy (if you can)
The W4t3r8oyZ in L33t 5p34k
By Jason Tudor
*** Intro starts and the mics cue up
Jason has logged in
Josh has logged in
Ryan has logged in
Pete has logged in
Josh: “I pwn u n00bs!”
Jason: “Sif”
Ryan: “Yank33s pwn!!!!1!”
Pete: “Sif. ****, Raiders will pwn!!1!!”
Josh: “Ask teh questions!”
Jason: “STFU!”
Ryan: “Sif!!11!! Do Yank33s rulz??!!”
Pete: “OMG!!! Yank33z own!”
Jason: “D0dg3rz, fooz!!! W00T!!”
Ryan: “Do0z 0h1o St4te SUxzor?!!”
Pete: “USC pwns!!!”
Josh: “PWN!! Chex0r out their d3fnze! PWN!”
Ryan has ignored Josh
Steve has logged into the server
Steve: “Looking for p0rt 2 faydark! 50PP”
Jason: “Wrong server, foo!”
Steve: “Wtf?!/111”
Steve has left the server
Ryan: “Camp!!!”
***Segment about intramural football begins
Josh: “CE clan suxzor! We would kick their a55 on PvP!”
Pete: “Sif!! We PWNED joo on all PvP, L0z3r!!11!”
Josh: “wtf?!11! we r the best! We rulz yoo n00bs!!11! We r L33T!!!!”
Jason: “Josh, stop!! CE’s too high lvl!!”
**JOSH IS BROADCASTING HIS IP ADDRESS!!!!
Admin has converted Waterboys server PvP
CE Orc logged into the server
CE Orc logged into the server
CE Orc logged into the server
CE Orc logged into the server
CE Orc logged into the server
CE Orc logged into the server
CE Orc logged into the server
Josh: “OMG!!!! TEAMS!!”
Pete: “U r going 2 b PWNED!!!!111!!”
Pete has logged out
Jason: “FFS!! Too many! Wtf josh!11???”
Ryan: “?????? Screw teamz!”
Ryan has logged out
Pete has logged out
CE Orc [hammer] Josh
CE Orc [hammer] Josh
CE Orc [hammer] Josh
CE Orc [hammer] Josh
CE Orc [hammer] Josh
CE Orc [hammer] Josh
CE Orc [hammer] Josh
Josh [shield] CE Orc (failed)
Josh has 3 hit points
Josh: “****!!!!!”
Jason: “Fall back, foo! Run!!”
Josh runs toward Jason
CE Orc runs toward Jason
CE Orc runs toward Jason
CE Orc runs toward Jason
CE Orc runs toward Jason
CE Orc runs toward Jason
CE Orc runs toward Jason
CE Orc runs toward Jason
Jason: “WTF!!!!!! TRAIN!!111!!! OMG!!”
Jason casts Mass Charm Monster (successful)
CE Orc moves out of fighting range
CE Orc moves out of fighting range
CE Orc moves out of fighting range
CE Orc moves out of fighting range
CE Orc moves out of fighting range
CE Orc moves out of fighting range
CE Orc moves out of fighting range
Admin has converted Waterboys server to non-PvP
Jason casts Heal Massive Head Wounds
On Party Member (Y/N)?
Choose Party Member (Josh/Ryan/Pete/Steve)?
Jason casts Heal Massive Head Wounds on Josh
Jason has leveled up!
Jason: “W00t”
Josh: “wtf!!”
Pete has logged in
Ryan has logged in
Ryan: “wtf?!11!”
Jason: “******* n00B! Almost ki11ed me!”
Pete: “PWNED!!! You suxzor!!”
Josh: “CE still suxzor! We w00d kick their a55 on PvP server!”
Pete: “Sif!!!111!! We win all! PH34R THE CE!!!!1111”
Jason: “OMG, shut him up!!!11!! Orcs will hear, n00B!”
Air Force logs in as admin
Air Force: “Josh!!111!! Sup? D3zert quest wit uz on new =====((B4GhD4D))===== PvP svr???? U wi11 pwn! All will Ph34R the W4rh3rooo0!11! Wanna go?”
Josh: “OMG! T0tal Pwnage Quest! Woot! Woot! L8, guyz! U guyz suxzor!111!Hahahahahah!! L8r, foos!!11!”
(Josh has been poisoned)
Josh changes screen name to W4rh3rooo0
W4rh3rooo0 has left the server
Air Force has left the server
Pete: “wtf?!”
Ryan: “****** Camp!!111!!1111!”
*** Segment about baseball begins
Ryan: “Yankees pwn!!!1!”
Jason: “Dodgers pwn!!”
Pete: “B4s3ball suxzor”
Ryan: “Sif!”
Jason: “Bonds takes roids!”
Ryan: “OMG! N00b! Bat speed!”
Pete: “Totally bat speed, n00b!”
Steve has logged into the server
Steve: “A/S/L?”
Jason: “N00b!”
Ryan: “Oh FFS!”
Pete: “OLOLOLOL!!!!!1! The fat PWNS him!!1!1!1!!!”
Pete [hammer] Steve
Jason: “pwnd!!”
Ryan: “W00t!”
Steve has left the server
*** Story bout Ken Caminiti’s death hits the wire
Jason: “T00 many Roidz, like B0ndz, foo”
Pete: “wtf?! Leet! No roidz!”
Ryan: “OMG! Cam total n00b, foo! Roidz rager!”
Steve has connected to the server
Steve: “Caminiti wuz n Astro!!!111! Pwn!11!”
Pete [hammer] Steve
Steve: “wtf!!11!??”
*** Pete makes comment that Steve doesn’t hear
Steve has left the server
Ryan: “OMG!! Packetloss!”
Pete: “Pwn3d!!”
Jason: “W00T!!”
Ryan: “Camp!!!”
***Segment about hockey begins
Pete: “FFS, camping”
Pete has camped
Ryan: “wtf?!”
Jason: “R3d Wingz pwn!!1111!”
Steve has connected to the server
Steve: “Avalanche pwn!!11!!”
W4rh3rooo0 has remotely connected to server from =====((B4GhD4D))=====
W4rh3rooo0: “R3d Wingz pwn!!11!”
Ryan: “we sed that, foo!”
Jason [private chat Ryan]: “Can u h4xzor his conn3t1on?”
Ryan: [private chat Jason]: “OMG!!11 T0tal1y!”
Ryan [broadsword] connection
W4rh3rooo0 has been disconnected from server
Ryan has leveled up!
Ryan: “DING!11!!! PWNed!”
Jason: “yoo rulz!”
Steve: “W00t!”
Pete has finished camping
Pete [hammer] Steve
Steve: “wtf?11! u all suxzor! L8”
Steve has left the server
Ryan: “LOLOLO!! Avalanche pwn!11!”
Pete: “Hockey suxzor”
Pete has camped
Ryan: “Camp!!11!”
***Segment about NASCAR starts
Jason: “OMG! Racing pwns!!”
Pete: “Racing suxzor!”
Ryan has camped
Pete votes to change map to Movies
Votes 4 of 4 required
Map changes to movies
Pete: “PWNED!!!1!1!!!1111! U can’t handle the troooth!”
Ryan has finished camping
Ryan: “N00b. Movies suxzor!”
Jason: “Star Wars PWNS!”
Pete: “I have c33n all teh movies!”
Ryan: “Sif! Movies suxzor! Yank33s!1!11”
Pete: “Sif!!11!! You r foo!11!”
Steve has connected to the server
Steve: “…”
Pete [hammer] Steve
Steve has left the server
Jason: “wtf, Steve????”
Ryan: “PWNED!11!”
Pete: “OLOLOLL!!!1! Hed fu11 of n1ck3ls!!! Pwned!
Jason: “Racing rulz!!!”
Pete: “Racing suxzor!!”
Ryan: “Camp!11!”
***Segment about five questions starts
Ryan: “Giambi takes roidz! wtf?”
Pete: “whatz wrong w roidz?”
Jason: “ph34r teh roidz”
W4rh3rooo0 has connected to the server
Ryan: “OMG!!! FFS, TEAMS!”
W4rh3rooo0: “Back from quest! I pwned!11!!1 32 lvl!!11!”
Ryan: “Sif!!!1!11!! TEAMS!!!”
Ryan [hammer] W4rh3rooo0
Jason [hammer] W4rh3rooo0
Pete [hammer] W4rh3rooo0
Steve has connected to the server
Pete [hammer] Steve
Pete [hammer] Steve
Steve: “WTF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”
Ryan [hammer] W4rh3rooo0
Jason [hammer] W4rh3rooo0
Jennifer has logged on as admin
Ryan: “OMG!!! teh Boss!!”
Jennifer [giant hammer] W4rh3rooo0
Jennifer [giant hammer] Jason
Jennifer [giant hammer] Pete
Jennifer [giant hammer] Ryan
Steve: “wtf!?1?! TEAMS!”
Ryan: “OMG!!111! Lets P0RT to Oc34nV13w Gr1LL!!!!111!1!1”
Jennifer [giant hammer] Steve
Steve has left the server
Jennifer: “hahahahahahah!!!!!11!!! PWNEd y00 faghats!!!1!!!!!!!”
Jennifer has left the server
Pete: “she r teh pwn!”
W4rh3rooo0: “WTF!!1! Wait! Did u guyz h4xor teh connection from ((B4GhD4D)) wen I s1gn3d on earlier???”
Ryan: “Lag.”
Jason: “Lag.”
Pete: “Lag! Sif!! You got PWNED by Ryan!!!11!! W00t!!!”
W4rh3rooo0: “***k you guys, mother***ers!!!!”
Jennifer has logged on as admin
W4rh3rooo0 has been kicked for language
Jennifer has left the server
Pete: “she r teh pwn!
W4rh3rooo0 has logged on with a *high warning* level
Pete: “PWNED!!1!”
W4rh3rooo0: “wtf??!?”
Ryan: “Camp!!!11”
***Segment about What’s On AFN Sports for the Weekend starts
Ryan prepares scroll of future seeing (successful)
Jason: “BRB”
Jason has camped
Steve has logged in
Ryan: “Sup Steve!”
Steve has camped
Ryan: “wtf?!?! Yank33z play twice R3d S0X!!11! pwn R3dS0x 19*8!!!!!”
Pete: “TV suxz0r!”
Pete has camped
Ryan: “Lo? Lo? ******* campers!!!! Wtf??111! Yank33z play 2 times, foos! Why am I s0L0?”
W4rh3rooo0: “I’m here!”
Ryan: “Sif!”
W4rh3rooo0: “!!!”
W4rh3rooo0 has camped
Jason has finished camping
Jason: “FFS, On t00 late, foo! Screw TV! Let’s go dr1nk and pwn the club!!11!”
Jason has camped
Ryan: “OMG!!! PWN the club!! Watch Yank33z at club!!11! Big b33rz!!”
Steve has finished camping
Steve: “Ph34r Yank33z!”
Pete has finished camping
Pete [hammer] Steve
Steve has lost all his hit points
Steve: “WTF???WTF???WTF???!!!!”
Pete: “I Pwn joo, n00B!!!!”
Steve has left the server
Pete has camped
Ryan: “CAMP!!!!!!1111!!”
*** Segment about Soundoff starts
Ryan: “You go, Josh!”
W4rh3rooo0: “Sif! My show, n00B! I pwn yooz!”
Ryan: “Sif! Go, N00b!”
Jason: “My go, h4xors!”
Pete: “FFS! GO!!!!1!!!!!”
Jason: “STFU! Going!”
Jason [monologue] racing
Ryan [monologue] Yankees
W4rh3rooo0 [monologue] hockey
Pete [monologue] golf
Steve2 has connected to server
Pete [grand hammer] Steve2
Steve2 has lost all his hit points
Steve2: “AGGGGGHHHHHHHHHH!!!!111111!”
Warning: connection problems detected
Steve2 has disconnected from the server
Pete has leveled up
Pete: “DING!!!!! I PwN!”
W4rh3rooo0: “PWNED!1!”
W4rh3rooo0 [thief tools] connection
W4rh3rooo0 changes Pete’s screen name to Mayor
Pete: wtf?11! Who h4xor my scnm?”
W4rh3rooo0: “LOLOLOLLOLLLL!!! PWNED!!!111!!”
Pete: “FFS!”
Ryan: “Yank33s pwn!1!11!”
Jason: “Sif!”
Ryan: “OMG!!111!1! We won!!11!”
Mayor: “Play nextor w33k?”
Ryan: “Woot!”
Jason: “Woot!”
W4rh3rooo0: “W00t!”
Ryan: “Camp til n3xt w33k!! L8r!”
Ryan has logged out
Jason has logged out
W4rh3rooo0 has logged out
Mayor has logged out
*** Outro plays and ends the show
*** Sexual Assault spot
Speaker 1: “WTF!?!?! Orc fighter came to my camp and went PvP on me on non-PvP server!!!!”
Speaker 2: “Suxzor!!!! Jooz just a bard!!”
Speaker 1: “Duh! Lost all HPs & con!!”
Speaker 2: “wtf?!?!! I wi11 Pwn for jooz!!!”
Speaker 1: “Can’t. Admins locked server to non-PvP!”
Speaker 2: “So, report, foo!!!!”
Speaker 1: “Sif!! Moderators don’t care!”
Speaker 2: “Screw mods! R3p0rt to Admin!”
Speaker 1: “OMG!!! I will!! W00t!”
Speaker 2: “Let’s port to club!!!!111!!!”
Speaker 1: “W00t!!!!”
*** Reflective belt spot
Driver: “I was t0tally PWNING these goblins, then …”
Passenger: “FFS!!! TEAMS!!!!”
*** Car screeches as Samy stops in front of car
Samy: “OMG!! You almost hit me, 4 m0re in4mashun!!!”
*** Driver and passenger get out of car
Driver [broadsword] Samy
Driver [broadsword] Samy
Samy: “!!!!”
Passenger [crossbow] Samy
Passenger [crossbow] Samy
Samy has lost all his hit points
Passenger: “PWNED!!!! My ki11!”
Driver: “Sif!!! My ki11, foo!!!
Driver levels up
Passenger levels up
Driver: “TWIN KI11!!!! W00t!!!
Passenger: “W00T!!!!”
Driver: “No reflect1ve belt, no mercy!!!”
Passenger: “W00t!!”
