Conversations that make you wonder...

CHAPTER 11
The First and the Second Oldest Profession

She: You are rockin that outfit today. How old are you?

Me: 45.

She: No way. My mom is 45. Do you mind if I call you "Mom?"

Me: I prefer "Karen."

Carol, who did a naughty thing

CHAPTER 12
Letters from Home

Text message to New Hire who has been missing for hours:
"We're waiting on you to start the meeting. What's your ETA?"

New Hire's response:
What meeting and what's an eta? I don't think anyone gave me one when I started. Smoochies.

cmi0616 said:

Overheard the following conversation today in the hallway. Keep in mind that these are two rather round white suburban teenagers.

Kid 1: Yo son, kid's boofin right now.
Kid 2: Word, yo.
K1: HA! I'm just playin' now you're boofin'!
K2: Word.

I sound like my grandmother when I say things like this... but what is happening to the English language?

Click to expand...

Can anyone translate this? I can't find the gobbledegook to English translator on Babelfish.

CHAPTER 13
Reading Comprehension

She: If I forward you this email, can you tell me what it says?

Me: What language is it in? French or Spanish?

She: English.

mirandashell said:

So.... is your fist itching yet?

Click to expand...

You mean to hit her with? And kill (or hurt) the golden goose? Not me. She might leave and take all of our daily entertainment with her. (I'm not the only one who's enjoying this.)

CHAPTER 14
Something in the Air

(New Hire walks in after applying an inordinate amount of Chanel No. 5. Smell enters the room before New Hire and punches people in the face.)

She: He brought some of my favorite perfume back for me. I just love Chanel No. 5.

(New Hire is suddenly seized by a fit of sneezing. Minutes roll by before she is able to speak again.)

She: Too bad I'm allergic to it.