The Sleepers woke, they woke hungry; they ate our words and drank our music, leaving us silent and broken.
Yes, I'm aware that's a semicolon. I'm pretty sure it's a legit one!
Yes, I'm aware that's a semicolon. I'm pretty sure it's a legit one!
SciFi/Fantasy First Line Game
- Thread starter badducky
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The Sleepers woke, they woke hungry; they ate our words and drank our music, leaving us silent and broken.
Yes, I'm aware that's a semicolon. I'm pretty sure it's a legit one!
The problem comes from the first two clauses, here. There's a comma splice there.
"The Sleepers woke; they woke hungry."
My entry:
I took pause when a Comma showed up for my room for rent advertisement.
I had originally written 'When the Sleepers woke, they woke hungry;' -- in that form, it is legit. I lost the 'when' somewhere in sentence revision and didn't notice. *sigh*
New sentence:
Text messaging led us to the brink of human extinction, all because the Centauri believed in enforcing proper grammar and spelling in every culture they encountered.
She Who Stalks the Yearling Fawn While the Dew is on the Morning Grass fumbled with the charge core of her jammed phase rifle.
-The actual first sentence of the first chapter of my debut novel. That line ran around in my head for twenty years, before I had decent storyline to go with it.
-The actual first sentence of the first chapter of my debut novel. That line ran around in my head for twenty years, before I had decent storyline to go with it.
Mornings are bad enough without adding in the unpleasant shock of waking up next to a dead superhero.
In the darkness, a voice as old and dry as the Barrens rumbled, "The child must die for if he does not, he will become the Eater of Stars."
The photo Jess handed me showed the two of us in a tight embrace, smiling like crazy people, but at least thirty years older than our present selves.
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I don't remember exactly when my past as a high school teacher became discontinuous with my present as an independent zombie control tech but, I must admit, it isn't all that different.
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I was fine with being my own grandfather, but the time travel paradox of being my own great-grandfather was starting to stretch my limits.
Summoning a succubus is probably not how most boys lose their virginity, but Tom had always been a little different.
Vulmur fanged teeth smiled while he watched from the perch overlooking the world, "We are going to hit the lottery with all souls that think world will end on the 21st of May."
Not technically a first line so much as a first few lines, but it's the opening to my new short and I'm proud of it so I don't care.
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Welcome to the game, VP, and play as often as you like! However, this sentence isn't clearly speculative; it could be historical (Biblical) fiction, or a murder mystery where the victim happened to be named 'Abel' or any number of other things.
As a reminder (since it's been a few pages since the rules came up, and I'll spare Ducky having to do this when he next passes through the thread):
1) Every post must have a first line. Even a reply to another post -- like this one -- has to contain a first line in it along with other replies.
2) The first line must be one sentence. No stringing together multiple sentences or pasting in an entire first paragraph. Gluing things together with semicolons doesn't work; you will be caught and face anatine wrath.
3) The first line must have a clearly speculative element.
Beyond that, of course, the goal is to write a compelling first line that makes others want to read the rest of the story... or make you want to write the rest of it.
Hope that helps. And welcome to the game!
And now, to honor the rules myself...
You'd think a government department dedicated to keeping the existence of paranormal entities secret would generate very little paper trail, but as the one responsible for filing the budget I can assure you that you'd be wrong.
Darn, not speculative enough. Let's try again....
Lifetime warranty does not cover dragon fire, shark bite, or children under five.
Lifetime warranty does not cover dragon fire, shark bite, or children under five.
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All Alex knew was that he was hired to write new computer programs: no on said anything about dragons.
