Comedy Cabaret--2012 Road Trip

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CassandraW

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Haggis, Cass...get a doghouse.

Del, you little feathered darling, do come here so I can give you a hug.

Haggis, dear -- what do you say to pigeon for dinner tomorrow? Raw or cooked, whichever you'd prefer.
 

regdog

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True story inspired by Del's post.

A cop stopped into a local Chinese restaurant for lunch, placed his order and waited. As he's standing there, one of the cooks comes in carrying a crate full of live pigeons. Cook heads straight to the kitchen, cop follows. Yup, the pigeons were destined to become part of the menu. Upon further questioning, said cop learned the cooks routinely rounded up the local pigeons and cooked them. Place closed a week later.
 

NinaK

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*skips breakfast*
 

Silent Rob

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And the quart of tequila would sterilise everything, even if it did.
 

Silent Rob

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But I got the measurements right, didn't I?

So now who's the spanner?

What?

Still me?

GAH!
 

cray

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*ambles up on stage*


*turns on mic*


check, check...

1,....2



*sips coffee*

two women were having lunch together, and discussing the merits of cosmetic surgery. rolling thunder says, "i need to be honest with you, haggis, i'm getting a boob job."
haggis says "oh that's nothing, i'm thinking of having my aaa-whole bleached!"

to which the rt replies, "whoa, i just can't picture quickwit as a blonde!"




*taps mic* is this thing on?

oh well. :Shrug:





*ambles back to the bar*
 

Silent Rob

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A middle-aged German tourist on his first visit to Orlando, Florida, finds the red light district and enters a large brothel. The madam, cray, asks him to be seated and sends over a young lady to entertain him.

They sit and talk, frolic a little, giggle a bit, drink a bit, and then haggis sits on his lap. He whispers in haggises'ses ear and she gasps and runs away! Seeing this, cray sends over a more experienced lady to entertain the gentleman.

They sit and talk, frolic a little, giggle a bit, drink a bit, and then Del sits on his lap. He whispers in Del's ear, and she too screams, "No!" and walks quickly away.

cray is surprised that this ordinary looking man has asked for something so outrageous that her two girls will have nothing to do with him. She decides that only her most experienced lady, quickWit, will do. quickWit has never said no, and it's not likely anything would surprise her. So cray sends her over to the German. They sit and talk, frolic a little, giggle a bit, drink a bit, and then quickWit sits on his lap. He whispers in quickWit's ear and she screams, "NO WAY, BUDDY!" and smacks him as hard as she can and leaves.

cray is by now absolutely intrigued, having seen nothing like this in all her years of operating a brothel. She hasn't done the bedroom work herself for a long time, but she's sure she has said yes to everything a man could possibly ask for. She just has to find out what this man wants that has made her girls so angry. Besides she sees a chance to teach her employees a lesson.

So she goes over to the German and says that she's the best in the house and is available. She sits and talks with him. They frolic, giggle, drink and then cray sits in his lap.

The german leans forwards and whispers in her ear, "Can I pay in Euros?"
 

cray

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*slaps sr across the face*

that's obscene!
 

Cella

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A middle-aged German tourist on his first visit to Orlando, Florida, finds the red light district and enters a large brothel. The madam, cray, asks him to be seated and sends over a young lady to entertain him.

They sit and talk, frolic a little, giggle a bit, drink a bit, and then haggis sits on his lap. He whispers in haggises'ses ear and she gasps and runs away! Seeing this, cray sends over a more experienced lady to entertain the gentleman.

They sit and talk, frolic a little, giggle a bit, drink a bit, and then Del sits on his lap. He whispers in Del's ear, and she too screams, "No!" and walks quickly away.

cray is surprised that this ordinary looking man has asked for something so outrageous that her two girls will have nothing to do with him. She decides that only her most experienced lady, quickWit, will do. quickWit has never said no, and it's not likely anything would surprise her. So cray sends her over to the German. They sit and talk, frolic a little, giggle a bit, drink a bit, and then quickWit sits on his lap. He whispers in quickWit's ear and she screams, "NO WAY, BUDDY!" and smacks him as hard as she can and leaves.

cray is by now absolutely intrigued, having seen nothing like this in all her years of operating a brothel. She hasn't done the bedroom work herself for a long time, but she's sure she has said yes to everything a man could possibly ask for. She just has to find out what this man wants that has made her girls so angry. Besides she sees a chance to teach her employees a lesson.

So she goes over to the German and says that she's the best in the house and is available. She sits and talks with him. They frolic, giggle, drink and then cray sits in his lap.

The german leans forwards and whispers in her ear, "Can I pay in Euros?"
nuttin' like a good clean joke in the mornin'!

:hi: Cabbies!
 

Silent Rob

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*takes a long drag on Nina's cigar*
 

NinaK

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They make a cream for that...


They do!

crayrid.jpg



mmmmm...coffee, thanks
 

Cella

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thank you, Mr. Cullen... It's nice to see someone around here has manners!







*picks nose*
 
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