Comedy Cabaret--2012 Road Trip

cray · Jun 19, 2012

*checks watch*

tot is running late on her reply, dotchya think?
i mean, it's nice chatting with you and all but yanno,....
i want out of this conversation as much as you do.

cray · Jun 19, 2012

eta: did you happen to see a post by idiotsrus this morning wherein she names a few people in a not-so-great light
...and the people might be us?

Haggis · Jun 19, 2012

She's in Chicago. It takes her an hour longer than it does us.

kayleamay · Jun 19, 2012

The sun rose up over the horizon like pimple on a rat's ass, red, angry and hard to imagine. Bertrand stood next to Kaylea's desk with his arms folded and a tight-lipped grin across his face. He held out a lukewarm cuppa joe. "You'd better drink up," he said. "I have plans for you today. Big plans."
Kaylea forced one eye open and grunted at Bertrand while she reached for the cup. "Ugh," she said.
"That's what you said yesterday and the day before that and the day before that," Bertrand replied. "Y'know, you're kind of a lazy little shit. I should take my talent and go elsewhere. Some people just don't deserve muses."
"Ugh," said Kaylea.
Betrand rolled his eyes, bit his lip, pushed his bangs off his face and did three other things that fictional characters aren't supposed to do anymore. "I swear if you don't sit your ass in that chair and write something decent today, I'm going to leave you and go find some noob to inspire. Don't test me! I'll do it!"
Kaylea slurped down her coffee with a sound reminiscient of a wet fart. She looked up at Bertrand, flipped her empty cup upside down and shook it in his face. "UGGGGGGGGHHHHH!" she said.

To be continued...

cray · Jun 19, 2012

haggis? normally, i'd do 10 panel screen but yanno? i'm thinking klm should have the most comprehensive drug screen we have.
hair analysis too.
although i can tell from here that she uses too much hair spray.

Haggis · Jun 19, 2012

cray said:
haggis? normally, i'd do 10 panel screen but yanno? i'm thinking klm should have the most comprehensive drug screen we have.
hair analysis too.
although i can tell from here that she uses too much hair spray.

Oral fluids tests for more recent use. I'd recommend we add that to the mix.

And I think we should check for K2 and bath salts as well.

cray · Jun 19, 2012

k2?
i had no idea klm was a skier!

TrainofThought · Jun 19, 2012

cray said:
while we wait for tot to respond, haggis, i'd like to thank you for getting my cincinnati bengals reference.
thank you.

the other dorks around here just don't get me.

This is one of those moments I enjoy being a dork.

cray said:
*checks watch*

tot is running late on her reply, dotchya think?
i mean, it's nice chatting with you and all but yanno,....
i want out of this conversation as much as you do.

Haggis said:
She's in Chicago. It takes her an hour longer than it does us.

*runs into thread*

OUCH!

Sorry guys, I was in the washroom...great magazine.

Haggis said:
Mornin' Tater.

Love the avatar. Chi-town's sure changed since the last time I was there.

Haggis

Dontcha love it! Psstt...I'm only telling you...it's a picture of Lake Garda, Italy. I'm going to retire there. Yes siree.

kayleamay · Jun 19, 2012

*fashions wings out of 10 panels and skiis*

After three more cups of coffee, Kaylea stumbled back into her office, kicked Bertrand into the corner, cozied up to her desk and began to type. "UUUUgggghhhh," she said as her fingers clacked across the keys.
"Oh, yay!" Bertrand said as he smoothed out the front of his kilt. "Looky there, she's actually going to write today!"
"Ugh."
Betrand clasped his fingers together and slid up behind Kaylea. He peered over her shoulder and began to read. "Blah, blah, blah....mutants...blah...blah...hand grenade...blah....Chihuey and Pip....siamese roofies...gunslinging fairy...."
Kaylea threw a hand up and flicked his nose. "Ugh."
Betrand let out a yelp as he righted himself. "Well, it's not War and Peace."
"Ugh," Kaylea added to her one finger salute.

To be continued....

Haggis · Jun 19, 2012

cray said:
eta: did you happen to see a post by idiotsrus this morning wherein she names a few people in a not-so-great light
...and the people might be us?

You mean this one?

I just figured she was in the throes of passion and merely shouted out what most women would shout out during times like that.

regdog · Jun 19, 2012

Haggis said:
You mean this one?

I just figured she was in the throes of passion and merely shouted out what most women would shout out during times like that.

Geez, that post needs a warning, I damn near laughed myself into a coma.

Haggis · Jun 19, 2012

I'm not sure if I should be offended or not.

cray · Jun 19, 2012

Haggis said:
You mean this one?

I just figured she was in the throes of passion and merely shouted out what most women would shout out during times like that.

hmm. i think you are probably correct.

cray · Jun 19, 2012

so, where's june?
i totally need her right now.

she's never around when you need her.

TrainofThought · Jun 19, 2012

cray said:
so, where's june?
i totally need her right now.

she's never around when you need her.

Ego boost?

cray · Jun 19, 2012

duh. i had 2 minions. ab turned out to be a terrible stalker and then qw founced.
now? nothing.

TrainofThought · Jun 19, 2012

cray said:
duh. i had 2 minions. ab turned out to be a terrible stalker and then qw founced.
now? nothing.

qw founced? I thought we buried him in the cement behind the bar.

What about parump? Or SR? He seems pretty easy to tame.

cray · Jun 19, 2012

hmm. well, parump's too nice. i can't bring myselt to....

and rob? well, not much potential there.
you see, tot, i'm trying to build brand recognition here. i need minions who can really go out there and promote the cray brand.

example: see this thread?
http://www.absolutewrite.com/forums/showthread.php?p=7367252#post7367252

i need someone to go in there and post the following:
"50 shades of cray"

or, yanno,...something similar to increase my market share.

you're a businesswoman. i'm sure you understand where i'm coming from.

kayleamay · Jun 19, 2012

Hmm. Good minion are hard to find. Would you like to borrow Bertrand?

Haggis · Jun 19, 2012

cray said:
so, where's june?
i totally need her right now.

she's never around when you need her.

June's never around when you need her anymore. I even left cheese in the thread the other day and she never came. Never even shouted out "Haggis! Cray! Haggis! Cray! Haggis Cray!"

cray · Jun 19, 2012

i don't think so, klm.
that bertrand sounds like a bastard.

this may come as a huge surprise to you but i really don't know what i'm talking about. i just hear people talking like that at my work. so, yanno,....

market share.
that's what it's all about.

eta: i hear you, haggis. ab is the pits anymore. i'm not sure what to do about it either.
although, i AM considering taking away her noodling license as punishment.

Haggis · Jun 19, 2012

Oh, my. That's serious. But it may be called for.

cray · Jun 19, 2012

i know, right? imagine a life without noodling.

TrainofThought · Jun 19, 2012

cray said:
hmm. well, parump's too nice. i can't bring myselt to....

and rob? well, not much potential there.
you see, tot, i'm trying to build brand recognition here. i need minions who can really go out there and promote the cray brand.

example: see this thread?
http://www.absolutewrite.com/forums/showthread.php?p=7367252#post7367252

i need someone to go in there and post the following:
"50 shades of cray"

or, yanno,...something similar to increase my market share.

you're a businesswoman. i'm sure you understand where i'm coming from.

Let’s get something straight. No woman is too nice. We are corruptible.

Rob does show some potential…depends on the day.

I see your dilemma…I think Fifty Shades of cray is too predictable. You have to stand out—impress and amaze—don’t be so obvious.

I’m thinking more like the following:

A Game of Cray

Stolen Cray

Calico Cray

A Clash of Crays

See where I’m going with this? To increase market share, you want to be marketable. Make your brand better.

This place is full of minions. It’s your job to search hard. Angie wouldn’t be a bad choice. Make sure you use a whip on her and she’ll sell like hell. NinaK would be good too. Just compliment her a lot and promise her never-ending days on the beach. She’ll be sand in your hand.

cray · Jun 19, 2012

you're hired, tot!

Comedy Cabaret--2012 Road Trip

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