Since novel writing's been sparse in recent months, I started reading and writing poetry, and that helps at least a little.
Good! I love writing poetry, too. And reading it. It's got its own feel that (to me, anyway) allows a person to get closer and more directly to one's feelings. It's awesome. I'm glad it's helping you some.
A lot of poems now tend to have this angst and power people have told me screams YA, yet the only YA novel I attempted I abandoned half done on a first draft. Why?
Why do you have to write YA? The most angsty and powerful novels I've ever read have all been adult fiction. That's not to say that there aren't powerful, angsty YA novels...of course there are. But personally, the stuff that's moved me the most has all been adult fiction.
Have you ever read any John Updike? Or Joyce Carol Oates? If not, you ought to give both a try.
You seem very focused on breaking into either MG or YA (eventually -- I hear what you're saying now, that you're just enjoying poetry and reading, and not necessarily trying to get anything published at this point.) Maybe what you need to do is allow yourself to feel whatever story wants to come out, and write that, and enjoy the process of writing it without worrying about how it will be received.
Yes, marketing restrictions can really put a squeeze on the books you've spent a lot of time nurturing and creating. I know that as well as anybody. I finished a novel and a half, both of which I am really proud of, and I've had two agents and one editor tell me that the first (completed) novel falls too squarely between YA and adult, and that they can't figure out what exactly to do with it...but I don't think the story needs to change. There are areas that I could improve, of course, but overall, as a story, I don't think it HAS to be smooshed into either the YA mold or the adult mold. It's a good book as it is; it's not my fault that the market has become so compartmentalized that it's hard to sell anything that can't be unequivocally labeled. After a tough conversation with my agent, I decided to let this book and the unfinished sequel lie for an indefinite period of time. I'm going to move on to other projects that probably will be easier for the industry to define, and maybe some day when I have an established backlist I will find a publisher who's willing to take a chance on my YA/adult "cusp" book. It took me a little while to find some peace with that decision, but I know it's the right decision. I keep the integrity of my book(s) and I free myself up to focus my energy on the next project.
What I'm trying to tell you is, it's all right for you to say, "You know what, Industry? I like what I'm doing. Maybe some day we'll see eye-to-eye; in the meantime, I'm happy doing my thing so I'm going to keep on doing it." Actually, sometimes that feels really good.
Everybody who said to just give it the happy ending I never got, my last WIP did that, and let's just say that didn't go over well.
Don't ever, ever, EVER give your book somebody else's ending. Or somebody else's beginning. Or somebody else's characters. It has to be yours or it will never work.
I think as far as YA in general goes, I didn't think I'd be that good at it, never mind that unlike some of you, it's not forever and a day ago for me, and until some folks recommended books to me that didn't thrive on the hot button subjects, I really knew of or read few books in YA until recently.
YA isn't really my thing, either. It seems like everybody out there just expects authors to write YA, since it's hot and it's just about the only genre that's selling really well right now. But it's just not for everybody, plain and simple. Believe me, I've tried to motivate myself to write a YA book. I never could get into it. I love teens and have a great time hanging out with them (while I was a zoo keeper I worked with tons of teen volunteers) but I just have no desire at all to write for them.
It's totally fine if you're not a YA writer. It's totally fine if your writing is hard to define. It might make it tougher for you to get published some day, but you only need to find one editor who is ga-ga for what you do.
Most the bestselling YA novels I'm too chicken to read, or just too close to heart in order to read or write them authentically and with integrity, and angst in all the right places.
What are the RIGHT places? Art is not dictated, and art changes with every viewer (or in this case, reader.) However
you approach and react to a work of art, including a YA novel, is the RIGHT way to do it. And I'm sure any author would rather they evoked some strong emotion in you, no matter what it is or where they managed to evoke it, than they would have their book be just another cookie-cutter YA novel to you.
It took me some time, but I think I'll just put my novel writing on hold, since I'm having trouble thinking up a non-animal fantasy plot I'd actually have a shot at pulling off.
If you feel inspired to write animal fantasies for adults (or for anybody else),
then do it. Richard Adams went through years of rejections for Watership Down before he found just the right editor for it. And that book has
never gone out of print since 1972. So there's pie in the eye of everybody who says adults don't want to read animal fantasies.
Since poetry is less demanding on me in some respects, despite my lackluster efforts to write short stories that don't feel hollow when restricted to under 500 words, and I'm better at it that I first thought, I'll focus on that for now. At least I'll still be writing something.
Again, I'm glad you're writing poetry and finding some satisfaction with it. And I'm really glad you're motivated to keep on writing. But I kind of don't get your approach to all this. Why do you feel so discouraged if you can't conform to what's expected? Who told you you have to keep a short story under 500 words? You can write short fiction that is thousands of words long. It's still considered short fiction. I'd also like to point out that all three forms of writing you're exploring -- novels, poetry, and short fiction -- take three very different skill sets. They do overlap in some areas, but for the most part they are three entirely different skills you'll need to learn before you feel comfortable with them. So just because you had a few lackluster short stories, don't feel down in the dumps. Writing a short story is not at all like writing a novel or a poem! It takes practice and familiarity with the form.
Maturity and Mortality rarely, both happen slow, and rarely work together in harmony. When they do, be thankful, when they don't, pray, and remember you need them both.
Or to put it bluntly, don't let dying without achieving your writing goals drive you nuts, or at least not drive those trying to help you nuts, but sometimes it can be hard to tell the difference, and I've sure learned that the hard ways in recent years.
That is true!
I'd also like you to remember that part of the joy of life is allowing yourself to feel and express a variety of emotions, including the negative ones you want to suppress. Own them and channel them into constructive or productive forms of expression, but don't stifle your emotions just because you think you should.
And don't write anything because you think you're supposed to, or because other people think you should. Write what you know you want to write. Tell the stories you want to tell. To hell with anything else.
HUGS!
