Learn Writing with Uncle Jim, Volume 2

Judging by UJ's posts, and his tendency to type in ms format, I'm guessing the "--" is another typewriter relic.

Jim - Just wanted to say that I'm loving lurking this thread (which I guess means that I'm de-lurking) & will participate more when I am finished editing the current draft of the WIP.

If you use "--" there's no doubt that you intended an em-dash.

Grunkins said:

Is that 4500 words in a single two-hour BIC session? If so, holy crap.

Click to expand...

Oh, I do that ever so often. It's no biggie, although it does help if you can type fast.

4500 words in two hours is less than 40 words per minute. That's easily doable by any touch-typist.

Hey Jim,

I wanted to know do you know any writing work shops in New York city?

James D Macdonald said:

Continued from Learn Writing with Uncle Jim, Volume 1

======================

It strikes me that there's a need for a thread on the art and craft of writing commercial novels.

To that end, I'd like to start that discussion. I plan to put down my thoughts on the elements of professional-quality fiction. I'll answer questions, and go where ever the discussion leads. I'll do some notes on the business of writing too.

Here are my qualifications for starting this topic:

My bibliography

A workshop I help teach every year.

My mutant talent is to make my opinions sound like facts.

=============

I have two basic rules: everything that's said should be true, and everything should be helpful.

=============

There's one other thing that needs to be said, McIntyre's First Law: Under the right circumstances anything I tell you can be wrong.

Click to expand...

I can type 80ish words per minute, but I can't write 80 words per minute. In today's two hour BIC time I pumped out about 750 words and was pleased with it.

Today's was a good 5,000 -- well, it was 5,000. I'm not sure about "good." The last half hour was mostly me talking to myself about worldbuilding: "Yes, but if that's the case, I need this other thing, which means I need an explanation, which I don't have right now... OK, start over. What do I know for certain?" After that there may have been a numbered list. I'm not sure.

Tomorrow may involve the necessary new scenes needed for an overdue short story rewrite. Gah. Rewriting. I wish I could just get it right the first time. Unfortunately, I need to read it on the page before I know what it is I'm writing in the first place.

Jonathan Figaro said:

Hey Jim,

I wanted to know do you know any writing work shops in New York city?

Click to expand...

Sorry, can't help you. I'm not part of the NYC workshop scene. I'm sure there are some, and I'm pretty sure your local librarian can help you find them.

The past, the present, and the future walk into a bar.

It got tense.

James D. Macdonald said:

The past, the present, and the future walk into a bar.

It got tense.

Click to expand...

...
Yes, and?

Shika Senbei said:

...
Yes, and?

Click to expand...

ba-dum-ching (rimshot)

LindaJeanne said:

ba-dum-ching (rimshot)

Click to expand...

This thread needs a laugh track.

A man walks into a bar, gibbering. "I'm a teepee!" he says. "I"m a wigwam! I'm a teepee! I'm a wigwam!"

"Relax," the bartender tells him. "You're two tents."

James D. Macdonald said:

The past, the present, and the future walk into a bar.

It got tense.

Click to expand...

This joke has a presence-perfect.

An ion walks into a bar, crying, and orders a beer.

"None of my business," says the bartender, "but what's the problem?"

"It's my little electron," says the ion. "She left me!"

"Are you sure?" asks the bartender.

"I'm positive!"


------------------

Merry Christmas (or other seasonal greeting as appropriate). Has everyone finished the Christmas Challenge?

A klutz walks into a bar.

A bar walks into a bar.

Grunkins said:

Judging by UJ's posts, and his tendency to type in ms format, I'm guessing the "--" is another typewriter relic.

Click to expand...

From the Baen Books electronic submission guidelines:

Do not use "smart quotes"/curly quotes or single character elipses, mdashes, etc. Use straight quotes and apostrophes, . . ., --, etc.

Click to expand...

James D. Macdonald said:

From the Baen Books electronic submission guidelines:

Click to expand...

Thank you. And merry Christmas.

I love that electron joke. It's one of my favorites.

Still working on the Story in Four Days. It's amazing what percolates in my head when I procrastinate on a story, but maybe it would percolate faster if I didn't procrastinate so much. I could at least actively poke at it every day, even if the plot solutions haven't yet occurred to me. My writing time hasn't been very regular this holiday week, but I poked at it during the Winter Solstice all-nighter, and I scribbled to myself on it on Christmas Eve. Spent Christmas Day with someone who is also working on the challenge, and we did some brainstorming over cookies.

The story has gotten unexpectedly complex in terms of theme and character interaction & development. The process of assembling it has been oddly like assembling a novel. That's weird for me, even if I'm not on team lime pie.

Anyway, that's where a lot of this week's BIC is going. Merry Christmas, Blessed Winter Solstice, Happy Hanukkah, and to all a Happy 2012. (And I guess a Happy Boxing Day, what with today being the 26th. Happy re-gifting, gift-exchanging, and passing on of good things!)

Blue Sky said:

Jim, I was wondering if perhaps, after the holiday assignment, you might consider another ending analysis? To me that was more challenging than beginnings, but fun and useful.

Click to expand...

You want it, you got it!

The novel will be Lean Mean Thirteen by Janet Evanovich (selected at random). I haven't read it myself; I'll be reading it along with you. It's available in hardcover (should be in many libraries), paperback, and e-text.

We'll discuss the last chapter one month from today: 08 February 2012.

I trust everyone's found a copy of Lean Mean Thirteen?

----------------------------

Meanwhile, I've been reading slush lately for a publisher that takes electronic submissions.

Here are some things I've learned:

1) For heaven's sake put the title of your story in the cover letter!

2) Don't name the attached file "MyStory.doc" or "Submission.rtf" -- because there are already about 3,000 files called "MyStory.doc" and "Submission.rtf" in the Incoming box. Give it a meaningful name, sort of like the running head on a paper manuscript: Moby_Dick_Melville.doc, for example.

3) Unless the publisher's guidelines say otherwise, use .rtf. Every recent word-processor can both produce and read .rtf. If you're Really Really Fond of XYWrite from 1991 -- get someone to convert the file before you send it it.

4) It is Totally Unnecessary to put Every Single Friggin' Page in a separate file (e.g. Page001.doc, Page002.doc, Page003.doc, ... Page497.doc). You want to make it easy for the slush reader to keep going, not make him wonder if opening the next file is Too Darned Much Trouble.