Make up an outrageous lie about the previous poster (archive)

Alexa is under court order to remove all signs of Mondrian-like paintings from her avatar when it became known that they were all painted by a starving artist she keeps captive in her attic. (Alexa can't draw a straight line.)

Only five words of the English language are needed to explain the starving-artist-attic myth: Nymtoc had a helluva time.

^Robbert is publishing a book which he claims is a lost book of the Bible, the Book of Ian.

A/C hides under huge piles of autumn leaves on October 31st and steals candy bags from little kids.

He picks out all of the "good stuff" and then tosses the bags in nearby garbage cans.

The man has no shame. NO shame, I tell ya.

You ask yourself how Lavern's avatar-L was stitched on to her shirt? Her new novel will tell you about it.

Robbert gives a big Halloween party every year. One of its most popular features is what he calls "bobbbing for apples." When somebody Robbert doesn't like starts bobbbing, he holds the person's head underwater till he or she nearly drowns. Then he pulls away with a laugh and says, "Trick or treat!"

So far, only two people have had to be taken to the Emergency Room. They both survived.

Nymtoc will never go to another Robbert Halloween party again... Well, maybe he will, if he doesn't get invited to Donald Trump's party again. He's a sucker for punishment, and hey, at least he gets out for the night.

When DJ goes trick-or-treating, he says, "Give me everything you've got in the house--now!" At the same time, he holds his hand in his coat pocket, as if he has a gun. It worked once or twice, but last year he ended up spending the night in jail. (He won't say whether his cellmate was Charles Manson.)

I only went to jail because Nymtoc didn't get the joke and had cuts all over his body from when he went screaming through the glass door at the rear of his house. He claimed that the cuts were my fault.

The cuts *were* DJ fault. She took the door off its hinges and smashed it over Nymtoc's head.

woozy hands out carrots for Halloween. She is the most hated person in the neighborhood.

Alleycat is the favorite neighbor. She passes out pure grade heroin.

woozy tells everyone I'm a woman even when she knows I'm a mighty manly man!

Alleycat has never mistaken anyone's gender on the internet in the six years since she decided that she wouldn't get the sex change operation after all. Back when she was seriously considering it, she regularly confused folk's genders.

Woozy is incapable of determining gender, and just refers to everyone as 'she', it really annoys her father.

DJ is just annoyed that I am the only one who knows her true gender.

Sadly, woozy suffers from delusions of adequacy.

Drachen Jager doesn't suffer from any kind of delusions. He enjoys them.

On Halloween Nymtoc dresses up as a wee lad and goes around trick-or-treating. His sack of 'proceeds' is left untouched until, surprise, surprise, Christmas Eve...

On Halloween, Robbert uses many changes of costume. He goes around trick-or-treating to the same houses repeatedly, pretending to be a different person each time, so he will get more candy.

This year Nymtoc is going for his cheapest costume yet. He's not going to dress up at all, and when anyone asks, he'll say, "I'm a serial killer, we look just like everyone else."

When DJ goes trick-or-treating, he carries an empty cornflakes box to put the treats in. When people ask him why, he says, "I'm a cereal killer. We look just like everyone else."

Nymtoc shows no shame in eating candy corn by the fistful.

Captain Ryan also eats candy on Haloween by the fistful. Although sometimes he removes it from the kids' hands first.

I once saw DJ shotgunning a witch's brew.