Sometimes, I even surprise myself

A few years ago, I met one of the best friends that I've ever had in my entire life. We never dated, but our relationship was stronger than anyone else's that I've ever known. We spent every day together, never tired of each other, we were just happy to be together. It was one of those things where I could walk out of the house and just know I'd meet up with him, no matter where he was. I was fortunate enough to have a special relationship with this guy, and I know that very few others can relate to how it feels to be so intensely in-tune with someone else.

Then, as time goes by, people change and situations change. I was friends with this guy for a little more than a year, and as fate may have it, we moved apart from each other. No, neither of us literally picked up and moved away, we just drifted apart and I've only seen him twice since my sophomore year.

Today was the second time I've seen him since, and I reacted so strongly that it scared me.

I was standing by a tree, staring out into the river (being my normal absent minded self, of course) and I felt a familiar little tingle, the same little tingle I used to feel whenever he was nearby. I turned around, and sure enough, there he was, leaning against a tree behind me.

He didn't say a word, I didn't say a word. He came up next to me, planted his feet in the mud, grabbed my hand, and stared out into the river with me. After fifteen minutes or so, I broke into tears (I'm usually very level-headed and not swayed easily by emotion. John was the only person in my life so far that could effect me this strongly). I was crying so hard that I couldn't stand up straight (I had to actually sit on the riverbank to keep from falling in the water).

He sat next to me for almost an hour, then we got up and walked away from each other. The entire time, neither of us said a word.

While moments like this weren't uncommon when I was close to him, I was under the impression that he had left my memory for good. Sure, he was one of the most influential people in my life, but I hadn't seen him in so long that I was sure that I wouldn't react at all if I saw him. I convinced myself that I had moved on from that part of my life. I figured that if I ever met up with him again, I'd give him a cheerful greeting, perhaps a cordial "What have you been up to? Oh, good to hear!", and then we'd go about our own ways.

It's strange to see how the past will come back to you....

kimmi said:

And sooo Suki? Could it be love--come around again....

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While I'm sure he'll always be very dear to me, I doubt I'll ever see him again. I have a feeling this was the last time. I'm pretty sure that's why I started crying.

kimmi said:

Sorry sweetie Much --much better coming your way lil Angelina

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Thank you, but there's nothing to be sorry about. In all honesty, it was a strange relief to see him again. It made me realize that there's a lot of problems that I just shove under the rug and refuse to deal with.

But, I doubt anyone like John will ever come again. Every time I meet someone remotely like him (or someone I feel strongly for, like I did with him), it turns into a romantic relationship. The one thing that was so special about my relationship with him was that it wasn't romantic in anyway. He was a strange guy....

dclary said:

Someday I'll stand by you at a riverbank and you'll weep again, precious.

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I won't be weeping, I'll be laughing so hard that I cry, because I will have nailed you in the nuts or something. Lean over you and blow smoke in your face, then grind dirt between your teeth. People will say, "Gee, who's that guy? Man, he's getting his ass kicked!" and I'll say, "No, no, he's a friend of mine. He just likes it rough," and then rip out your ear hair.

Oh, Clary, I'm looking forward to meeting you. Really, I am.

Haggis said:

Ain't love grand?

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Eh, it has its perks. Frankly, one-nighters are way easier.

C.bronco said:

Well, Tsuki, you should save this post because it's a very engaging narrative!!!!
I'm glad you had that good experience. It's great when we find people with whom we can really connect.

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Maybe I will....

Alan Yee said:

Well, at least he didn't knock you up and get you pregnant. Hopefully. He didn't do that, did he? You're not pregnant, are you? PLEASE don't tell me that you are!

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Well....erm...Heh....heh....

Heehee, no I didn't have that kind of relationship with him. We were just amazingly good friends.


...Though, we did like to run around in underwear sometimes.

Chumplet said:

I think there's something there that you think you know but you really don't know... This is beyond a connection. It's almost scary. Don't completely lose contact with him. I have a feeling he's your soulmate, even if you don't realize it now. There's more life to live first. What a perfect moment.

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Actually, I used to think that. We both did. We figured we were just too comfortable around each other not to be soul mates.

But the whole reason we drifted apart was because we had changed too much, and we weren't changing together anymore. We tried for the better part of 6 months to work through it, but it didn't work.

Who knows what the future will hold? From the feeling I'm getting, I don't think I'll ever see him again. But life throw has been throwing an awful lot of curves at me lately, so who knows?

Akuma said:

Wow, sounds powerful.

Dash it all, I wish I could have an experience like that.

Eh, well, here's to the future. You have your memories.

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It was pretty powerful. All the time I spent with him was powerful.


...I'm gonna kill him.

William Haskins said:

you sure are a good writer.

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just because you're Mr. Haskins, I can't tell whether this is laced with subtle sarcasm or a genuine compliment. If it's a compliment, then thank you

William Haskins said:

i hope you can one day overcome your incessant need for instant ego gratification and channel your talents into more useful endeavors than using office party as a blog.

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While I've never thought of it in such...blunt terms, I kind of agree. I went from being constantly busy (and "craving attention", I suppose) to having way too much freedom (leading to boredom, which can be easily mistaken as craving attention, I guess). Regardless, I like sharing experiences like this with the AW community.

William Haskins said:

it was definitely a genuine compliment.

tell me, did you write about this experience anywhere else before writing about it here?

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Again, thank you.

Nope. This happened earlier today and I haven't said/written a word about it until I posted this.

William Haskins said:

so instead of capturing the lightning inside you and taking the full energy of the experience into a serious memoir format, or perhaps even weaving it into a fictional narrative, you blew it on an admittedly beautiful—but disposable—internet post... for the simple fact that you crave the oohs and aahs of well-intentioned people like kimmi...

you can never truly reverse-engineer it after you've diluted it with haste and a tone chosen for a narrow audience; it can never be as fresh as when it was first plucked from the vine.

don't do this anymore. it's masturbatory...

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Anything I post on here is definately something I'd consider disposable (at least, in it's original form). If I were to turn this into an actual narrative-something I'd want to be proud of and possibly send out for publishing- I'd not only do some refining, but I wouldn't throw it into the wind as casually as I do on here.

The post, in the form that it's in now, is perfectly fine on the boards. I feel that stuff like this is perfect to share with the audience here. Whether I do choose to recreate it and polish it into something even more precious is still up for grabs, but I guarantee that if I do decide to do it, it will not lose any of it's grandeur and will not be diluted in any way, regardless of who I previously shared it with. Why, if it did, I shouldn't call myself a writer, should I?