The "I'm sorry" thread

Nymtoc · Oct 12, 2014

...the way you keep scratching yourself makes it hard for the rest of us to pay attention in class.

I'm sorry the mortician refused to arrange a funeral for your goldfish, but...

shakeysix · Oct 12, 2014

sauteing him in herb butter with button mushrooms was not the answer.

I'm sorry that your dinner date with the Sta Puft Marshmallow Boy did not work out but...

jaus tail · Oct 13, 2014

asking the restaurant for a refund wasn't cool.

I'm sorry your neighbor plays loud music all night, but...

Hannah M · Oct 13, 2014

...I'm sure one day he'll be able to actually hit those drums in time!

I'm sorry you were kicked out of the band, but...

jaus tail · Oct 13, 2014

on the bright side, the audience threw tomatoes at the band in their next performance.

I'm sorry pigeons made a nest in your balcony, but...

jvill · Oct 13, 2014

but I had to store those decapitated human torsos, crumbed in birdseed somewhere.

I'm sorry I slept inside of your grand piano, but...

Nymtoc · Oct 13, 2014

...at least we were spared your atrocious playing for a while.

I'm sorry everyone has unfriended you, but...

shakeysix · Oct 13, 2014

if you didn't have unfriends you'd have no friends at all.

I am sorry that I printed off your research paper, hung my name on it and handed it in but...

K.L. Bennett · Oct 13, 2014

... I'm especially sorry I didn't read it first because it turned out to be your David Copperfield erotic fanfic instead.

I'm sorry the post office lost that package I sent you, but...

Nymtoc · Oct 14, 2014

...it was just an old Ming vase, and it would have clashed with your Ikea furniture anyway.

I'm sorry you discovered that your wife was still married to five other men, but...

jaus tail · Oct 15, 2014

you didn't have to have sex with all of them for revenge.

I'm sorry that your boss bullies you, but

Komnena · Oct 17, 2014

but you should not have left fishhooks in his chair/.
I'm sorry I tortured all those bedbugs but

Nymtoc · Oct 17, 2014

...I promise to bring a new supply tonight.

I'm sorry the bridge collapsed when you were halfway across, but...

Komnena · Oct 17, 2014

but you did get a free bath.
I'm sorry I killed the define the weird word thread but

Nymtoc · Oct 18, 2014

...my goal is to kill all the threads that I didn't originate myself.

I'm sorry the bottle of cognac you got for your birthday turned out to be vinegar, but...

CDSinex · Oct 18, 2014

you were almost out of vinaigrette, so it's all good.

I'm sorry I took your lunch from the office fridge and ate it, but...

Komnena · Oct 22, 2014

but you didn't really want all those black fish eggs, did you?
I'm sorry you got shipwrecked with a big black horse but

Nymtoc · Oct 24, 2014

...at least the water will carry the manure away.

I'm sorry your blueberry muffins made everyone vomit, but...

jaus tail · Oct 26, 2014

you don't generally use blue paint to make blueberry muffins.

I'm sorry your husband proposed to you with a plastic ring, but...

shakeysix · Oct 26, 2014

What do you expect from a store mannequin?

I'm sorry the sheik wants his Shetan stallion back but

Komnena · Oct 26, 2014

but maybe the sheik will send you his first son..
I'm sorry your new colt hates you but

druid12000 · May 5, 2015

...you keep trying to jam 9mm slugs in her.

I'm sorry aliens abducted your duck but...

Komnena · May 25, 2015

but now you can adopt unwanted rattlesnakes.
I'm sorry the sheik's daughter wants to kill your big black horse but

Nymtoc · May 25, 2015

...at least she has agreed to spare your gerbil.

I'm sorry the Jeopardy producers said you're too dumb to be on the show, but...

jaus tail · May 26, 2015

now you can drive a truck over their set and say, 'oh i'm just so dumb i couldnt understand the 'no driving sign''

i'm sorry kids punctured your motorbike, but

The "I'm sorry" thread

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blue eyed floozy

Me. Who else?

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blue eyed floozy

A floopy flolloper

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In Honor of Peter Tomich,USS Utah

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In Honor of Peter Tomich,USS Utah

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Imagine something clever here.

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blue eyed floozy

In Honor of Peter Tomich,USS Utah

You're out of your tree...

In Honor of Peter Tomich,USS Utah

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