Sexy Scenes

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Nimyth

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Ok I have only one chapter left to re-write and then I wrap book one up. :partyguy:
I also have one sexy scene I want to re-write it reads to 'trite' to me.
I have tried to avoid the purple prose but I am having issues.... the 'anatomically correct verbiage' for certain body parts sounds like a cat coughing up a hairball. And how many times can you get away with using words like manhood or womanhood before the reader rolls their eyes and tosses the book aside.
 

Filigree

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Read in the erotic romance genre. The sticky threads at the top of this Romance forum and in the Erotica forum can direct you to how other writers solve this problem.

You are not alone, Nimyth. The first sex scene I showed a beta reader, over twenty years ago, was so bad she said "Stop. Just stop. You cannot write this yet. Go learn some things." She sent me to some online resources that helped, back when they were a little trickier to find. I also tried writing in fan fiction to build my confidence.

I still tear my hair out over sex scenes - in erotic romance, they not only have to be hot, they have to mean something in the story. But I'm not quite as clueless as I was.
 

Chris P

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I agree: read sexy stuff and adopt what works for the story at hand. If the book is steeped in metaphor and mystery, giving clever hints of details will be called for whereas if it's gritty realism you won't want to hold back.

I'm only now venturing into sexy scenes. I shy away from graphic stuff, because I usually sound like I'm in a locker room or OB-GYN office, neither of which fits my writing style.
 

ap123

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And how many times can you get away with using words like manhood or womanhood before the reader rolls their eyes and tosses the book aside.

Without getting tripped up I can accept the word penis, shaft--hell, you can even say "c'mere and ride the bologna pony," but

Speaking only for myself, the answer is 0. The word "manhood" or "womanhood" would be where I stopped reading.

Sex scenes can be graphic, glossed over, or have the bedroom door completely closed, I don't mind; but there are certain terms that would pull me right out of the story--and not want to go back in.

Have you tried focusing on the feelings--both physical and emotional--more than the mechanics?


My .02, these scenes are the same as writing any other, in that they must be true to the characters.
 

Marian Perera

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I have tried to avoid the purple prose but I am having issues.... the 'anatomically correct verbiage' for certain body parts sounds like a cat coughing up a hairball. And how many times can you get away with using words like manhood or womanhood before the reader rolls their eyes and tosses the book aside.

Reminds me of a complaint I read a long time ago:

"Manhood" sounds archaic. "Penis" sounds clinical. "Pee-pee" sounds babyish. "Cock" sounds vulgar. "Tower of power" sounds pornographic.
I stress this was a long time ago because "cock" is fairly frequently used now - it even made an appearance in some Avon romances I read recently. "Manhood" is still archaic, though. And I'd avoid "scrotum" or "vulva", because they really do sound very clinical. Terminology can make a vas deferens.

You might want to check out Stacia Kane's Be a Sex-Writing Strumpet series of blog posts (or buy the book - it's affordable and a great reference for writers who want to include the mechanics but aren't sure how to work them in).
 

beckethm

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Speaking only for myself, the answer is 0. The word "manhood" or "womanhood" would be where I stopped reading.

I was going to say the same thing.

How explicit you get with your sex scenes is a matter of style, and to some extent, genre (what sounds right in a contemporary romance might not fly in historical, for example). Reading a variety of writers will help you get a feel for the various ways people handle this.

If you're going to name parts, I personally think it's best to be straightforward. Penis and cock can work just fine. You'd be surprised, though, how much you can convey without using explicit anatomical terms. If I write "she stroked him," is there any doubt about what I mean?

And yeah, the first sex scenes I wrote got about the same response as Filigree's. What I've learned is that most of the heat in a good sex scene comes not from the act of intercourse but from the internal sensations, emotions, and other interactions between the characters (what they say, how they look at each other). My sex scenes got better when I scaled back on the physical stuff and put more attention on the non-physical.
 

Nimyth

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I was going to say the same thing.

How explicit you get with your sex scenes is a matter of style, and to some extent, genre (what sounds right in a contemporary romance might not fly in historical, for example). Reading a variety of writers will help you get a feel for the various ways people handle this.
My heroine in this book is definitely the type that would use the word cock ... however it is set in the 15th century, she is not human and I can push the envelope on the time period 'behavioral' constraints somewhat... not sure the terminology would fit the time period.
 

Hildegarde

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I'm told I write really hot, which always surprises me because I can't say the 'P' word without blushing. (Also, I hang with a few erotica writers, and that's a whole different hotness category).

You have some really good advice here. The best I can give you is don't force it. If there are words you aren't comfortable with, don't use them until you are. Sometimes I use words I wouldn't say, but my character would. Don't write a love scene until you are completely inside your character's head.

I stay focused on the emotions and tend to gloss over body parts when I can manage it. You're going to find that all writers and all READERS have their own preferences here - so just find what is comfortable for you. I promise you won't be the only person in that comfort zone. Since you can't please everyone here, I suggest you please yourself.

What are some of your favorite love scenes by other authors? Read those and see what worked for you!
 

job

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My heroine in this book is definitely the type that would use the word cock ... however it is set in the 15th century, she is not human and I can push the envelope on the time period 'behavioral' constraints somewhat... not sure the terminology would fit the time period.

Leesee --

-- 'Cock' is one of our oldest words for the male sex organ, dating in writing to 1610 and doiubtless in use long before that. This puts 'cock' in the same ballpark as 'penis' and 'phallus'. It is a fine old word and you should have no hesitation adding it to somebody's 1450 vocabulary.

-- You're not writing Chaucerian prose. You're writing contemporary English with maybe a salting of Middle English words to give it flavor. You aren't limited to a 1450s vocabulary, or to words current before 1700, or to words in use before 1920. You can use any words or phases, from 1350 to 1950, so long as they don't jar the reader into noticing that the language 'sounds' modern.

-- 'Manhood' and 'Womanhood' are about bottom of my list of favorite euphemisms in this field.

-- What level of 'heat' do you want for this book? How explicit are you going to be?
It sounds as if you want to be fairly middle-of-the-road, on-the-library-shelf level.

-- If you want library heat levels, you can start at the library. (Yeah, libraries!) Pull down genre books (including non Romances) and thumb through to the sex scenes.

Like Goldilocks, you're going to find some scenes are too hot and some are too cold. But you'll also find well-written sex scenes with exactly the heat level you want to write.
Xerox maybe fifty sex scenes. That's your research material.

Those xerox pages give you the current popular terms for anatomy and action. They'll also be a guide to workarounds that avoid direct mention of anatomy and action.

-- Ask here in Rom/Womens Fiction for suggestions of what books and what scenes to study.

-- Once you locate authors who do sex scenes with the level of heat you want, you can research on line.
> Go to http://books.google.com/
> Type in author name
> Pick one of her books
> At the book, go to the search box on the left column. Try plugging in shaft, thrust, cock, breast, hunger, desire or some other words likely to take you to the sex scenes.

-- Finally -- your FMC is not a C15 person. She would not use C15 terminology or think like a human or a C15 human. Her words of actions and anatomies will reflect her background and life experience.
You got yourself a whole set of unique euphemisms. "He was ready as a driver's control rod in a FG230 sports model."
 

Nimyth

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Part of the Character Conflict

Is that she is living with mortals and trying to learn how to 'get along' .... Still have not fixed my sexy scene :(
I want to say thank you for the guidance though. I had one scene where my HRN promised to do many unpleasant things to the antagonist if he crossed her.... the four letter word works so much better in the scene. :Hug2:
 
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