Jed's Super-Dooper Baileys Pub for Newbies, Dragons, Saints & Sinners

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KitJohnson

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(Enters the pub, looks around, finds an empty barstool down at the end. Tramps over and takes a seat)

Mine's a Baileys over ice.

(looks around, winces)

..and a brandy for the lady in the neck-brace who looks like she's just had a car crash.

Evening all. What's new? Does this pub serve pork scratchings?
 

zanzjan

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..and a brandy for the lady in the neck-brace who looks like she's just had a car crash.

Heh. I've got enough painkillers in my system right now that brandy is probably a bad idea, but I'll take a raincheck.

What are pork scratchings?

-Suzanne, out of the neck brace but apparently with a mild concussion. Words are being weirdly hard. Might have to switch to poetry for a bit until my senses recover.
 

KitJohnson

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I believe you jolly colonial chaps might know them as "pork rinds". They're a traditional pub snack around these parts (points to that large island chain off the coast of Europe).

No? Just as well. Horrible things they are, especially when you get a bit with hair still on.

So what genres of fiction are good to write while concussed?
 

dandeliondreamer

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Oh, they are quite popular in the South here. You can buy them crispy & extra thick. We don't have pubs the same way, but in your basic honky-tonk style serious drinkin' place, you'll find them sometimes fresh cooked.

Fiction to write while concusssed: stream of consciousness. Faulknerian stuff. Or perhaps Joycean, for those of you on the other side of the pond. ;)
 

RedRajah

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I'm a sucker for good pork cracklings...and I'm not even from the South!

*nom nom nom*
 

KitJohnson

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Just want to share this one entirely true story before bedtime...

I had a sealed fortune cookie sat on my desk from a recent Chinese meal (which came with one too many). Today, during a bout of shifting papers looking for something it got knocked off onto the floor, closely followed by my netbook, which landed squarely on top of it with a loud CRUNCH. Fortunately the netbook's rugged with a solid state disk, so it's used to shrugging off bumps and bangs, but the cookie came off significantly worse.

Oh well, I thought. Might as well check what the fortune says.

Opening up the packet, I extracted the little paper strip from the shattered remains of the cookie. It read...

YOU WILL RECEIVE GOOD NEWS AT YOUR NEXT MEDICAL

I'm not saying... but... a guy with a doctor's appointment in a couple of days to discuss symptoms that might be signs of a potentially sight-threatening condition, never had a more welcome fortune!

The moral of the story: Take comfort when its offered to you :)

Kit
 

zanzjan

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So what genres of fiction are good to write while concussed?

Poetry:

White car from Connecticut, you make me nervous.
You drive as though you think you are impervious.
Traffic lights and stop signs and lanes hold no sway,
Your hand upon the horn to warn us away.

Motorists and pedestrians, bicyclists and I,
Are extra-special wary whenever you pass by.

White car, O white car, I know about your kind!
I've seen you speed and swerve, the damage left behind.
I've driven many places, and I find it true:
In Boston, New York City, none so bad as you,

Vigilant and cautious, I kept you in my sight
So instead the fucking beige car got me on the right.


-Suzanne
 

dandeliondreamer

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what I miss on the message boards is the "like" button. I just wanna like everything.

Awesome poem, zanjan. Those fucking beige cars get you every time.

I myself watch out for white panel vans. Too many times reading Silence of the Lambs, I guess.
 

GailD

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Poetry:


Vigilant and cautious, I kept you in my sight
So instead the fucking beige car got me on the right.


-Suzanne

I love this! :D I hope you're not a-verse to keeping this up when you're not concussed.

Here in Jo'burg it's the dreaded mini-bus taxi you've got to watch out for. They are an absolute law unto themselves - rules of the road are for other people.

Hi Jed, hi everyone. Coudln't join you last night because we had a power blackout that lasted 6 hours! Today we found out that it was due to cable theft. Yes, you heard right, cable theft. It's a huge problem here. They will come along, usually under cover of darkness and steal lengths of telephone cable or electric cable - for the copper. Can you believe it?:rant:
 

J.M.Nelson

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Vigilant and cautious, I kept you in my sight
So instead the fucking beige car got me on the right.

-Suzanne

Ooob I cracked up laughing so loud I think my husband thought I'd gone bonkers.

Hope you have a speedy recovery.
 

swachski

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Poetry:

Vigilant and cautious, I kept you in my sight
So instead the fucking beige car got me on the right. :roll:

Sorry to hear about your misfortune, but I gotta say, the concussion and painkillers don't seem to be hindering your creativity. :D
 

KitJohnson

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Vigilant and cautious, I kept you in my sight
So instead the fucking beige car got me on the right.

zanzjan - absolutely awesome! Had me giggling all the way through and howling with laughter at the end.

GailD said:
Hi Jed, hi everyone. Coudln't join you last night because we had a power blackout that lasted 6 hours! Today we found out that it was due to cable theft. Yes, you heard right, cable theft. It's a huge problem here. They will come along, usually under cover of darkness and steal lengths of telephone cable or electric cable - for the copper. Can you believe it?

It's a big problem here in the UK too. My last job was at a cable telecoms provider, and engineers were constantly going out and replacing or repairing stolen cables. Even though most of our network was on fiber-optic cables instead of copper, which don't have the same scrap resale value. The thieves didn't seem to know the difference.
 

GailD

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It's a big problem here in the UK too. .[/QUOTE]

I must admit, that surprises me. I thought it only happened here. Same thing with the fibre-optic, they swipe that too.

Funny world, heh!

What the heck. Let's hve a Baileys. :)
 

Spiral

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*makes coffee* Is the day over yet? Oh, right. It just started. :cry:I need to turn this day around, fast.
 

GailD

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*makes coffee* Is the day over yet? Oh, right. It just started. :cry:I need to turn this day around, fast.

Hi Spiral. The day is half over here and I'm still struggling to get started.

How about you give me a push and then I'll give you a nudge? :)
 

Spiral

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Sounds like a plan Gail.

I'm a bit better now. I woke up to an email for the first round results of a short story comp. It wasn't so much the score (which wasn't great but wasn't horrible) but the attached commment about my story stung a little. I'm still learning that thick skin thing. ;)
 

Spiral

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Yup, you're absolutely right! :)

I just have to keep reminding myself that my son (I gave him the story and told him it was written by a writing forum friend who wanted a kid's opinion on it) laughed at all the right places and told me that he really liked it.

Onwards and upwards!
 

Honeybug

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Sprial...you might want to check that again. I sent mine in and gave them your e-mail address so I wouldn't get the news myself. :D I hate it when that happens!!

The best thing to do from there is take the crit and make the best of it...in your own way! You're gonna get a few of those before you find the right one!! Keep on pluckin!! We're here to support you!! :Hug2: Hope I put a smile on your face! :)
 
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