Top Five Helpful Hints for Agents

a-vee said:

kaitie, I agree with most of what you said.

I think there is two ways of looking at things: one with your mind and one with your heart.

If you are rational about it, yes, this is how things are, and you'd better adjust. But in moments when you think of the hundreds of hours you have spent with, what you think, is something special.... It is your baby somebody says is not pretty enough.

Yes, you should not talk like this in front of your future boss, but, at least to yourself, you have to admit that it hurts.

How do you want to be a good writer if you are out of touch with your own feelings, if you suppress them?
Yes, if you do it for the money, OK, this story line doesn't work, so I'll just change to another one, but if you feel you have put into a story more than just time, you can't help but feel sad.

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First, I wasn't implying your choice of words was incorrect. I wanted to say that it was spot on--I think you hit the nail on the head with what the original person was saying, but that also stood out as why it came across as so negative. So it's all good.

I actually do agree. I've been at this for a long time. I've been on submission for a long time. I've queried two separate books (many people a lot more) and racked up hundreds of rejections. I've had to set one aside because it wasn't good enough, and while I'm at a particularly exciting time right now with my current sub that looks promising, just a week ago I was coming to terms with the fact that it wasn't going to get an agent and it was yet another lost cause. And I definitely think both works were publishable and great. I adore them, so I do understand that.

On the other hand, I wouldn't say that it was my baby, either. My first book I had this kind of attachment to because there was so much emotional investment, but looking back at it now I don't think that's really healthy.

Please don't get me wrong. I'm not denigrating rejection. It seriously sucks and I've spent a lot of time in tears feeling like the hard work hadn't paid off. But after that you have to get back up, dust yourself off, and learn from the experience. You have to say "How can I make the next one even better? How has my writing improved this time? What kind of feedback did I get to help me out?"

Being overly negative makes it a lot harder to improve, and focusing energy on those negatives is only going to make you even more unhappy.

I do think sometimes we need to have a rant. I've had my fair share of "I don't get it. What am I doing wrong?" rants and even "I don't understand how this agent said this because it makes no sense" rants, but it's the kind of thing you do, preferably with someone else in private.

One of the biggest problems with finding fault with agents and placing blame on them for things that aren't really blame-worthy, particularly if this is in response to rejections and what not, is that instead of looking for space where we can improve as writers, it's placing the blame outside of us. I hardly see this kind of thing as constructive in the long run.

I have the utmost respect for authors willing to put themselves out there, but I think it's important to realize that a rejection isn't personal, and that multiple rejections are normal, and that our work is our work and can always be improved. It's also important to look back at what we've gotten out of the experience and whether or not we enjoyed it. Otherwise the negativity can overwhelm you.

I hope I'm not overstepping any bounds and hope this doesn't offend anyone. It's just my opinion.

Phaeal said:

LOL, just before my agent offered, I was looking at this teetering four-foot pile of MSS that was all the drafts of the novel in question, plus all the notes, plus all the revision outlines, and I burst into hysterical tears at all the time and love I had poured into it, and what if that offer didn't come?

Hysterical laughter soon followed, then hiccups. Hiccups are Nature's way of telling you to put a damn lid on it, so I did.

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I know exactly what you're talking about. And, A-Vee, you're right, they are our babies, and those form R's that say "sorry, not for me," mannnn, they hurt. But you know what? Once the offers started coming in, I was finally able to put all those form R's in perspective. Once I heard how enthusiastic an agent can be about your project, I realized that when they say "sorry, I didn't fall in love with it," then hey, they're just not the right agent for you. You want and need an agent who falls head-over-heels for your baby, or else they're not going to be able to pour that contagious enthusiasm into an editor.

OneWriter said:

Once I heard how enthusiastic an agent can be about your project, I realized that when they say "sorry, I didn't fall in love with it," then hey, they're just not the right agent for you. You want and need an agent who falls head-over-heels for your baby, or else they're not going to be able to pour that contagious enthusiasm into an editor.

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Exactly. I didn't believe it could happen until it did, even though I'd come to the conclusion that it was what had to happen before I'd get an offer.

At one time I would have agreed whole-heartedly with the OP. "Go man! You tell 'em!" But learning what being an agent or a magazine editor involves gave me an entirely new perspective on rejection. I wouldn't last a month as an agent or editor if I had to do it the way I originally expected they should do it. I'm sure some agents/editors are truly assholic, but my expectations of them were as off base as I thought their form rejections and (seemingly) self-absorbed blogs were. Mutual respect is the key, and I don't think what the OP has identified is proof of violation of that.

Um Welcome to AW...I hope you learn something here. If you're just starting out, I recommend developing a thick skin, because it seems that you are taking everything far too personally.

I thought it was a nifty little satire.

Problem is, there are enough posters who have the same attitude about agents we can't tell when somebody's satirical or serious. Odds are, they're dead serious.

Since it was your first post, and none of us know anything about you, exactly how is anyone supposed to tell what looks like a snarky rant is anything other than a snarky rant?

Um... I'd say you didn't quite succeed there.

Not upset, just saying that it's really tough to judge tone/intent over the intarwebz. Especially when it's a first post and no one knows you/your sense of humor etc.

When you reply to a thread, click "Go advanced."

Then click on the smiley icon.

And here's your sign:


Or if you prefer, you can use my method.

[sarcasm] Whatever you want to be taken in a sarcastic tone [/sarcasm]


At any rate, Welcome again to AW, and I wish you all the best with your next thread.

I third mscelina's comment and opinion. Well said!

Beabreen said:

Fair enough! As I never intended to upset anyone so much with the original post, I surely don't want to do it with the responses, as well.
*creeps away on broken glass for more sarcasm-oriented shores*

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No one was upset. Don't compliment yourself. And I believe you knew exactly what you were doing, and what you continue to do. The provocative/huh, who, me? pose has become so wearisomely prevalent on the Webz.

bea,

sarcasm can be hard on the net; in your case compounded by the sheer number of fuckwits who post the same and worse, in utter seriousness, with no apparent awareness that tyhe act is somewhat akin to pissing their own drinking well.

Check out the rejection queen blog if you don't know what I mean yet.....