TALK TO LADY JAY (naughty bits)

Dear Cray and Kevin:


After a forced dispensation, following which an analysis of toxic effluvium abrogated any need for further flow charts, it has been decided that you are not chum despite your repeated access of the E-MANGER restorative program

Therefore, unlike your dad, we respectfully request with the least possible annoying apathetic ambivalence, that you cease covering yourself with fruity sprinkles and hurling yourself from the sides of fishing vessels while in the full view of children, possible children, potential children, and most importantly POST APOCALYPTIC children and those that resemble them yet clearly are not

If you are thirsty on Thursday, yet all you have been eating is wheat, then it is more than likely you have been spared the necessity to be tested for ergot, however, if you insist on keeping your finger there much longer you will surely have to deal with yet another bout of politically induced constipation.

My best advice to you is to submit your bio before the 27th and to remember, ALWAYS, shave your toenails before you apply dry wall.


BTW: Both Inky and I have superlative rounded cuddlesome sitting muscles.

Kevin Yarbrough said:

Lady Jay,

As Cray pointed out tomorrow is wednesday february 27, 2008 and that would still mean I'm 31 years old but in some parts of the world the year is 4077 of the year bubba hotep. Now, I need help. Do I use the year 4077 of the year bubba hotep, which would make me 2100 years old, or 2008? I was going to apply for my social security and if I use 4077 I can more than likely get it.

What you think

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Don't french kiss badgers. EVER!

Today is day two of my almost total 'meatspace' flounce. And you know, I'm feeling pretty good about this.

Last night I sat down with some 'if and then' possibility statements and before I knew it, I think I figured out what to do with 2 of 3 WIPS.

Speaking of Whips...they're auctioning off Indiana's....I sooooo want that.

OH! Sauted' salmon steak with sausage stuffed mushrooms...look at the time.

Annoying morning coffee meeting in 2 min!

It's me, isn't it?

I bet there is some pill that 'regular' meatspacers take that allows them to be not only dumb, but totally un-annoyed by the fact that they are, indeed, firing far too few neurons.


Should I take the pill?

Oh...wait....that's a MOVIE now...

Ok. I got a lot of stuff to say...and Inky and I are having a wonderful, ongoing discussion about hair conditioners, relaxers, moisturizers and fortifiers.

I'm getting in more entries for the contest, so, remind me to post a prize list so you folks can start poking other folks to contribute.

I had a date with Hunky Guy on Sunday afternoon. We had lunch, walked awhile in the sun, then sat around and wasted time looking at LOL cats. It was FUN! We made a date to have another lunch in 2 weeks or so.

No, no you filthy minded preverts! No nookie! Why'd you think I'd go out and nookie?

Maybe next time.

BTW, I wore my Cabaret Sweatshirt and he really liked it, then I told him about you guys. And he thinks AW sounds cool. I told him to join but he claims he is neither writer, artist or musician.

I told him not to worry because RT is so hot he'd out hunky hunk guy and then my hunk would be depressed, and that might very well turn him into a geek.

Which wasn't as funny as some of those LOL cats.

Ok, back to hair care, I use a relaxer called 'Botanicals'. It is very mild, because, although I have very curly hair that loves to kink at the first hint of humidity, (and, conversely...in the freezing dead cold of winter hangs so straight even a curling iron won't help) my hair is what they call 'baby fine'.

And of the new Pantene products...the ones with the white bottle , navy blue label and gold trim (Tres elegant, btw...) I don't think the fortifyier did as much as the nourisher or the hydrator.

Inky, although my hair feels stronger, and I can see fewer split ends, it doesn't feel as 'flexible'. And it is only 11:30 here and already it begins to frizz. (Which really serves to make me look messy and unprofessional. Grrrrr!!!) I'm going to wait a day (too mcuh shampoo etc and the hair really breaks off) then re wash and use the hydrator.

Hey, Inky...I just had a thought...I can send you the numbers of the bar codes and maybe that will help you find them when you get to Germany!

Ok...back to the grind...for awhile.......

Cray.
Pay attention!

If you go home and tell your wife that you found out about a new nourishing conditioner by Pantene that you are just aching to try out.....

You'll get laid.

Stuff like that impresses us girls.
(we girls?)

Dear Cray.


Katsup.

Sincerely

Jaycinth.

Dear Auntie Bug.

The DEA took my car.

Can I drive yours to Mexico?

Sincerely,
Jay.

Dear SCfirenice,

Give one shiney penny and the rest wwhenthe job is complete. This is like any other contractural agreement.

PS. You told me 999!

scfirenice said:

Mommy Dearest Jay,
I notice that you frequently answer the pleas from your plebians at approximately the same time every day which, I happen to know is on your boss's dime. How is this so and how do you know just when to sign on?

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Dear Inquiring Minds...

When my boss announces that he is going to visit Saddam Hussein, I know I have about 20 min or more........