Avoidance

kristie911 · Jul 28, 2008

SG, first of all, I'm sorry for your loss. When I lost my grandparents I remember what a hole it left for a long time. But they all lived good, long lives (my grandpa was 95!) and I felt like you did. Honor the lives they lived. Not saying I didn't shed a tear, of course, but don't let your family turn it into a huge drama for you...you don't need that.

As far as avoiding other things. That's your choice. There is nothing wrong with you for not watching military shows. I don't have anyone close to me overseas right now but I know a lot of people with family in Iraq and I don't like to watch those shows or movies either. I can see why you wouldn't either. It's not avoidance...it's coping.

You have a lot going on in your life right now...and you can't let your family make you feel bad for doing the things that keep you going. When they give you a hard time, just smile and say, "Thanks for caring." Thats all you need to say...it's your life, not theirs. :Hug2:

Cranky · Jul 28, 2008

Hey, storygirl, I think you're doing the right thing for you, and I wouldn't sweat it for one second.

My grandma died last year at almost 86. She'd had a long, full life, with six children, 30 some grandchildren, and about 17 great-grandkids. I talked to her about once a month on the phone, and I spoke to her only a week before she passed. I still miss her, and think of her often, but I know it was her time. I was more startled than anything, because she'd been doing pretty well, and her death was unexpected in that sense.

We all do what we have to do to get by in this world, and I think you are the best judge to know what you need to do to do that. You've got plenty on your plate as it is...anyways, I'm rambling. So I'll finish with this: :Hug2:

StoryG27 · Jul 28, 2008

CaroGirl said:
It sounds like you have a healthy coping strategy that works for you. Tell everyone else to back off. In a nice way, of course; I'm sure they're just concerned about you.

In a nice way, shoot, that's what I missed.

Tink said:
Some of my family thrives on drama...and I have been to funerals where the deceased should be celebrated such as your Grandma but some of my family is pulling at their hair and passing out at the casket. It's crazy and embarrressing to say the least.

Wow Tink. That's a lot to handle. :Hug2:

Thank you for your post, you have more experience in this than you do.

Haggis said:
You've been avoiding making me that sammich I asked for. Get yourself back on the bus and get to it!

*pours just a pinch of poison in Haggis's tuna sammich, whistles*
Does puppy want a sammich. yes? then eat up. Muwhahahahaha. yes, eat up.

Pagey's_Girl said:
SG, I'm sorry about your grandmother.

You're not avoiding anything; you're choosing not to dwell on it, which to me seems quite healthy.

That's how I feel. It happened, we can't go back, it is not tragic, why dwell on it.

Kitrianna said:
Sorry to hear about your Grandma SG, but she sounds like she was a wonderful person. I applaud you for celebrating her life rather than mourning her passing.

Thanks.

Seaclusion said:
SG, very sorry for your loss. I'm glad you have your way to cope. I avoid things that upset me also (military movies, 9/11 references, Rodney King, the list is endless). there is nothing wrong with keeping your sanity.Have a beer.

Richard

A beer? Where's my foo-foo drink with an umbrella in it?

sheadakota said:
Anyway sorry to derail your thread a a little, but I just wanted to let you know I don't think anything is wrong with it and as you can see from the responses, you are far from alone.

Thanks, I'm a bit surprised to see how many of us don't watch the news and avoid things that depress or upset us. I love it. I feel so normal.

You didn't derail it at all, exactly on topic. I'm hoping for the best with your dad!

StoryG27 · Jul 28, 2008

kristie911 said:
It's not avoidance...it's coping.

You have a lot going on in your life right now...and you can't let your family make you feel bad for doing the things that keep you going. When they give you a hard time, just smile and say, "Thanks for caring." Thats all you need to say...it's your life, not theirs.

I have to work on the being nice thing. I've run out of diplomacy as of late, and everyone is used to me being the mediator, and now I'm sort of just being a little harsh with them because I realize I've totally done this to myself. This is good advice, and :Hug2:

to you too!

Cranky said:
Hey, storygirl, I think you're doing the right thing for you, and I wouldn't sweat it for one second.

for you too. Thank you!

MsK · Jul 28, 2008

sg- My condlolences on the loss of your grandmother.

I can't say it any better than what has already been posted. You are handling things- handling them your way- which sounds like you try to not dwell on things that cause obvious pain (military shows, rehashing the life of your beloved grandma, depressing news shows) and choose to look for things that make you feel good (celebrating your grandma's life, sweet messages from your husband).
That's my way also- see sig.

StoryG27 · Jul 28, 2008

Krystal, your sig if prefect for me! Thanks.

Avoidance

kristie911

Happy to be here

Cranky

StoryG27

Miss Behave

StoryG27

Miss Behave

MsK

StoryG27

Miss Behave