You know how you know when you might have a Comedy Cabaret "problem"?
It's when you sit there during a date wondering what your friends in the Cabaret are doing. And you know how you know you have a date "problem?" It's when you make a flimsy excuse to come home really early from your date, log onto your computer, and are immediately more interested in what you see in the Cabaret than you were in anything that happened between 8 pm and 10:45, when you acquired a "headache." (6:30 -8:00 pm was good, 'cause I was enjoying some cabernet with friends. Shoulda stuck with that. But anyway.)
Damn you all for being way more amusing than my date. Don't ever bore me. I really hate being bored. And don't drink lite beer, either. Stick with root beer if you're going that way. I can forgive you the root beer. I drink root beer now and again myself. But if you drink lite beer, I'm gonna get ugly.
Haggis, I do not think you could have chosen anything better for your 30K post. I would say I've learned so much more about you by reading your words when you were in 7th grade, except that it's pretty much exactly what I thought you would have been like in 7th grade. But I love you for it. I particularly love that you named the cat after gutting and skinning it, and cleaning the bones in hydrogen peroxide.
If we had not already had a bitter virtual divorce, and if you were not already married or co-habitating or whatever it is you're doing, and you weren't living in Michigan or some such outlandish place, and if we'd ever actually met in person, I would ask you to marry me based purely on that article.
Hell, I'll marry you all. Just name the day. I'll check my calendar and we'll work something out.
And yes, I've had something to drink this evening, and am currently sipping some Laphroaig. If you want to make something out of it, you've got about an hour before I either pass out or Jaycinth comes to kill me for gutting the Cabaret.
Thank you for your kind attention.
