Learn Writing with Uncle Jim, Volume 1

Nexusman · Apr 8, 2006

-Nick

James D. Macdonald · Apr 9, 2006

Was the questionmark part of the phrase he was quoting?

Personally, I'd go with "Which one is 'right'?" he asked, and ignore it thereafter, because the publisher will change it to house style regardless of which you choose. Just be consistent.

Rambling · Apr 12, 2006

I don't mind the sarcasm/argument approach, in small enough doses - ie.

Anya Smith said:
"I don't see why the Coalition allows these senso lodges to operate," Carlina said with distaste.

"What are you proposing they do? Start up the Death Chambers again? Forbid nano life-extension treatments for the poor? It keeps the addicts contained and off the streets."

"This isn't old Earth and we aren't overpopulated anymore. Whatever lame justifications they used to make four centuries back, there's no excuse now for letting people fry their brains in those damn chimera death-senso's."

"I never would have taken you for an anti-death campaigner, Carlina."

"I'm not! But rational people take suicide pills in hospitals, they don't grub about in cyber-slums."

jchines · Apr 12, 2006

James D. Macdonald said:
Personally, I'd go with "Which one is 'right'?" he asked, and ignore it thereafter, because the publisher will change it to house style regardless of which you choose. Just be consistent.

Heh. I just wrote about this a few days ago, over at http://dsnight.livejournal.com/141876.html

General consensus, at least in the U.S., seems to be "Which one is 'right'?" as you said.

jules · Apr 12, 2006

ashnistrike said:
MadScientistMatt: The correct format is whatever the person you are sending the synopsis to says is the correct format.

Yes, which is why I looked all over the Baen website for something other than "send us a synopsis." No luck.

Baen have a discussion forum where a lot of their writers and editors hang around. Somebody there will know what sort of synopsis they prefer.

Anya Smith · Apr 12, 2006

Rambling said:
I don't mind the sarcasm/argument approach, in small enough doses - ie.

Interesting.

Andrew Jameson · Apr 12, 2006

Rambling said:
I don't mind the sarcasm/argument approach, in small enough doses - ie.

Hum. That still sounds to me like "as you know, Bob" style dialogue, so it clunks in my ear. If background information can't be worked in any other way, I'd prefer a short but clear bit of authorial intrusion:

"You are cleared to exit the shuttle," the computer announced.

He lifted the crash web and stood up. "We might find an illegal senso lodge near the hub with a senso-interface system," Eric said, knowing how much Carlina detested cyberslums and cyberspace addicts.

The chimera senso plays evolved from economic pressures in the past. Four centuries earlier, the World Government financed Death Chambers. They were later abolished, but low-income elderly citizens who practiced dying became addicted. Not much later, the chimera was invented, adding the dying of animals to the senso plays. Then the Venusians discovered the biocrystals and things evolved from bad to worse. Due to the emotive quality of biocrystals, the sensorium of the chimera is so intense that the human brain experiences a minor sensory overload each time. In defense, it starts shutting off certain areas, which causes the Alternate Reality Syndrome. And the maya-tappers, the illusion junkies, keep going back for more. That's what made the chimera so deadly.

And that was why Carlita hated them. "Yeah, well, you might find it," she said. "I'd rather not bump into maya-tappers." Her eyes flashed and her lips tightened, but then she turned away.

"Lead the way then." Eric felt a mixture of relief and shame.

"The Phoenix docks at port eighty-seven," Carlina said and stepped onto the dock.

The information can be compacted what presented in this form, and with a cool POV and smooth segue in and out, I think it's less intrusive than artificial dialogue, sarcastic or not. But what the heck do I know?

Anya Smith · Apr 12, 2006

OK, I get the point. Either way I do it, it's called an info dump. (tearing my hair out)

ashnistrike · Apr 12, 2006

Of the three possibilities, the sarcasm/argument approach seems least intrusive to me. It all seems like things people would really say, and the question of why I should care is answered: because the characters care.

Of course, the fourth possibility is to not explain the whole thing now. Have him bait her, and leave the reader wondering for a few pages why the senso chambers are such a problem. I assume they're going to be a plot point, and they sound nasty enough that waiting to see them up close might have more impact.

Anya Smith · Apr 13, 2006

That info has to be there; it's an integral part of the setting. Though it's not a plot twist, it's a good way to get them all on the starship, and Eric wants to hijack the starship. I've made it more sarcastic and also reinforced how ignorant Carlina was about ancient history.

James D. Macdonald · Apr 14, 2006

I'm going to be doing a live chat here tonight at 9:00 pm EDT.

http://www.starchat.net/chat/?chan=absolutewrite

The channel is #absolutewrite

HConn · Apr 14, 2006

Cool!

I'll have to ask Her Majesty for permission to attend.

Anya Smith · Apr 14, 2006

James D. Macdonald said:
I'm going to be doing a live chat here tonight at 9:00 pm EDT.

http://www.starchat.net/chat/?chan=absolutewrite

The channel is #absolutewrite

Shucks, we have a dinner party at friends house. I always miss the good stuff.

Uncle James, "The Apocalypse Door" was very good. Thanks for a good read.

Anya

James D. Macdonald · Apr 14, 2006

Anya Smith said:
Shucks, we have a dinner party at friends house. I always miss the good stuff.

Uncle James, "The Apocalypse Door" was very good. Thanks for a good read.

Thanks.

I'm sure there'll be a transcript.

Bob Haynes · Apr 15, 2006

Fun

Uncle Jim,

Thanks again for doing the chat last night. I was there in my clever disguise as Bobb. You gave us a great mix of writing advice and humor, and I'm not sure that a writer can (or should) dispense the first without the latter.

I realized from what you had to say that the major problem for me is that the fun has gone out of writing. I write something because I think I 'should' or because it's what the latest pro-paying anthology is looking for, and I agonize about the stories I've abandoned and beat myself up for not going back and finishing them before writing something new.

This morning I woke up and starting jotting story notes to myself for a fun story entitled, "The Last House You'll Ever Haunt" about a family of ghosts whose search for the 'perfect house to haunt' is finally over. Will it be too silly? Is there any market for it? To answer the question, "What's the difference between ignorance and indifference?" I'll answer, "I don't know and I don't care." I just know that I want to write this story and put the fun back into my writing.

I highly recommend the transcript (when it's posted) to anyone who missed your chat. You covered a few things that haven't been tackled here yet, and the time flew by.

Thanks,

Bob

Avalon · Apr 15, 2006

ARGH! I can't believe I missed it.

Where will the transcript end up, if someone is so very, very kind as to make it available? (I'm new enough around here not to know where such things might be posted....)

DamaNegra · Apr 15, 2006

I missed it too

I tried to log on from 7.30 to 9.45 without any success. This thing just wouldn't cooperate. Someone said the transcript will be posted in a week. When will it be posted?

DamaNegra · Apr 16, 2006

Yay

I got the transcript. Shame I couldn't go, though

Anyway, I have a question for UJ.

You said you've co-authored many books. How exactly do you co-author a book? How do you write a book between two people? Do you say: OK, I'll write Chapters 1, 4, 6 and 9 and you write Chaps 2, 3, 5, 7 and 8?? Or do you sit together and put ideas while one of them types? How?

Bob Haynes · Apr 17, 2006

Collaboration

Uncle Jim gave us some idea about his and Debra Doyle's working methods here:

http://www.absolutewrite.com/forums/showthread.php?p=108452&highlight=collaboration#post108452

I'm sure most of us would like to hear more.

And does her name appear first on the books because of the alphabet or because he likes her double D's?

NicoleJLeBoeuf · Apr 17, 2006

DamaNegra said:
Yay

I got the transcript.

What, and yer gonna keep it to yerself?

Where does the transcript reside?

nomuse · Apr 17, 2006

The chat transcript is here:

http://absolutewrite.com/forums/showpost.php?p=571090&postcount=4

jchines · Apr 17, 2006

Thanks, nomuse!

NicoleJLeBoeuf · Apr 17, 2006

Yay thank you!

ETA: Uncle Jim, can we buy you another beer?

DamaNegra · Apr 18, 2006

I'd like some advice in the show vs tell. You've said always show instead of tell. But what about show&tell?

"The place was so cold goosebumps filled my skin."

Or is it recommendable to say:

"As I entered, goosebumps filled my skin."

And let the reader assume it's cold. What do you say?

HConn · Apr 19, 2006

You can get goosebumps from cold or from fear. I vote for clarity over brevity.

Learn Writing with Uncle Jim, Volume 1

Chaos Warrior

Your Genial Uncle

Got the hang of it, here

Bored fanatic

House Dragon

(not his real name)

House Dragon

ashnistrike

House Dragon

Your Genial Uncle

Whore for genre

House Dragon

Your Genial Uncle

Bob Haynes

Linda J. Daly

Mexican on the loose!

Mexican on the loose!

Bob Haynes

a work in progress

nomuse

Got the hang of it, here

a work in progress

Mexican on the loose!

Whore for genre