Hi Retro,
I know you waved goodbye to this thread, but as I spent some time reading part 1 I'll give my opinion.
Firstly, the actual story is alright. Ignoring the errors, I found myself interested in reading more.
But, at the start of "Chaos", when the sheriff was hit in the face with the gun, why was everyone so threatening to him if he is The Law. I understand the Ox's reaction, but the barman?
A few fights scenes reminded me of Sherlock Holmes movies, where he premeditates the exact actions before he does them. It works...just about. I would not like it if every fight scene was like that. The scene where Jack attacks Ox, while describing what he thinks, what Ox thinks, what might happen, what will happen......and so on. If Jack did less thinking and more doing, he'd be outa the way in no time
Sorry to be blunt about it.
As others pointed out, there were problems with grammar, etc, I'll stay out of that.
You change in and out of scene's very quickly and some times without any connection. You could have made the connection from puking after the Devil, to pig dying a little stronger. For the first few lines about your uncles farm, I didn't know where this sudden turn had come from.
Oh, also, re-word bit about pig drinking blood, I had to read it three times to understand that 'your' uncle wasn't the one drinking. (I think that is called a dangling modifier or something like it...someone here may jump in and help)
I won't repeat what others have said about making it as good as you can before publishing - I agree with everything that has been said.
On a positive note, the story was decent. Oh, except for all the needless killing. I know you want to paint a picture, but some were over the top IMO.
I would like to see a revised edition in the future. As of now, I'm not putting a review on Amazon.
Best of luck with this.