Does my MC need a memento?

Atalanta · Apr 22, 2014

This is a fantasy world.

My MC is a sailor in her early twenties; her younger brother died a couple of years ago when the ship he was on sank. He was relocating and so had brought everything he owned with him -- nothing survived the wreck.

My MC and her brother were very close, but in the first-draft she owns nothing that reminds her of him -- nothing that was his, no gifts he may have given her. I'm rewriting it and it doesn't feel like there's any... symbolic space left over for a treasured memento. But wouldn't she have something? They were poor, and he had no income (she's the one who bought him gifts), but couldn't he have made her something? Or bought something secondhand?

Gah... They were so close, it just feels like if she did have a memento it would take over the entire mind-space of the story. His death had a huge impact on her life and shaped the person she's become. I didn't make a conscious choice to not give her something (which is what bothers me), it just never came up.

Does she need a memento? Would it be realistic if she didn't have one? I could always use that fact to emphasize just how wrong her life's been going. But would that make sense? Or am I just flailing? *flails*

Also, I've been away from AW for about a month, and it feels soooo good to be back. :hi:

Filigree · Apr 22, 2014

Hmm. You could emphasize both her need and her loss, by maybe having her see something small and interesting (not necessarily expensive) and thinking 'He would have loved that', and defiantly buy it in his memory. +1 if it turns out to have other plot importance.

Atalanta · Apr 22, 2014

Filigree said:
Hmm. You could emphasize both her need and her loss, by maybe having her see something small and interesting (not necessarily expensive) and thinking 'He would have loved that', and defiantly buy it in his memory. +1 if it turns out to have other plot importance.

That's a good idea, and it's sort of already in there. She used to buy books for her brother because he wanted to be a scholar. In the story, she has to buy a book for someone else, and eventually (when she faces her grief) she compares that book to the very first one she bought her brother.

But is that enough? I don't know why I'm so insecure about this. Maybe it's the looming shadow of betas on the horizon...

kkbe · Apr 22, 2014

She may not have anything. That would certainly leave a hole, a space beyond the grievous loss she already feels. Insult to injury. You can use that as a plot device, this nagging sense of deep regret that she hold nothing of his, no memento, nothing tangible to hold on to. . .

I don't know your story but that could be a sad and lingering thread throughout your novel, her wish of having some thing of her brother's, who was so very dear to her. And maybe, near the end of your story she remembers something, some moment they shared, something he told he once that she'd forgotten and she can cling to that, she has that. . .

Or she looks in a mirror, sees his eyes. . .

I don't know, Atalanta. I don't think you need to give her something of his to make their story, their relationship seem authentic. But if you are feeling like you need address that absence, you can certainly have your mc consider that, mourn that.

It doesn't have to be a big thing, or it could be a big thing. It's up to you how much weight, if any, to give this. It bothers you, but it needn't bother your mc.

Unless it does, I mean. You know her better than anybody.

(((hugs))) and welcome back, btw.

VRanger · Apr 22, 2014

All good discussion above. I think you are correct to wonder if you are over-stressing on this. It's your decision, and the reader will accept it either way.

Heck, I've had a brother for 50 years now. If you asked me to name something in my house that I'd consider a memento from him, I couldn't name one thing ... especially since the beer cans from his last visit were just picked up in the recycling bin already today. And he's alive and doing well and the only things he lost were in a divorce. Ok, that was a lot of things, but he kept his widescreen TV and the worst of the two cars.

GingerGunlock · Apr 22, 2014

There are a number of "small" things you could use for a memento of a person who's passed. A seashell one of them found while at the beach together, a book that was talked about, not even necessarily owned.

Or, the lack of memento can be a real sticking point, and that hole on its own can be symbolic or meaningful.

patskywriter · Apr 22, 2014

My brother died young. After his death I fished his old lifeguard jacket out of the closet and kept it, along with a shirt he had outgrown. (Both had been left behind in the knickknack closet of our parents' house.) Maybe your character can do something similar to that.

Jo Zebedee · Apr 22, 2014

You don't need it - the momento is in his mind, whether it's a physical thing or a thought. It can be useful to frame thoughts about her, but not needed. Imho.

zanzjan · Apr 22, 2014

Another possibility, given the impracticality of a physical memento, would be something like a tattoo of her brother's name?

ETA: or a symbol or icon that would be meaningfully associated with the brother

Roxxsmom · Apr 22, 2014

zanzjan said:
Another possibility, given the impracticality of a physical memento, would be something like a tattoo of her brother's name?

ETA: or a symbol or icon that would be meaningfully associated with the brother

This is a cool idea, if tattoos are used this way in your world. Or something very simple that's connected to him--like a charm he whittled for her that she wears on a thong around her neck (maybe people in your world commonly wear simple charms or amulets and only she knows the special significance of hers). Or she could just have a memory she particularly cherishes, or some small ritual she does that's connected to him.

frimble3 · Apr 22, 2014

I also don't find it strange that she would have no memento, especially in the days before photography and our easy supply of small items. And, if she's a sailor, I imagine that she doesn't have a lot of private space to accumulate 'stuff'.
She's a sailor and he was the younger brother? Was he also a sailor, or was he only on that ship as a passenger? And, how similar is your world to ours? Because, if you're willing to go with something intangible, how about when she looks up at the night sky, she remembers when she taught him the names of the stars and how they move? Maybe the first constellation he learned by heart? (Even if in their culture ships hug the coast and don't use the stars for navigation much, at sea, with a clear sky, the stars would be very visible, and there wouldn't be much to distract your attention.)

Roxxsmom · Apr 22, 2014

frimble3 said:
Because, if you're willing to go with something intangible, how about when she looks up at the night sky, she remembers when she taught him the names of the stars and how they move? Maybe the first constellation he learned by heart? (Even if in their culture ships hug the coast and don't use the stars for navigation much, at sea, with a clear sky, the stars would be very visible, and there wouldn't be much to distract your attention.)

This is a neat idea. I still remember a friend of the family teaching me to recognize Orion when I was a kid and we were sailing.

Atalanta · Apr 23, 2014

frimble3 said:
I also don't find it strange that she would have no memento, especially in the days before photography and our easy supply of small items. And, if she's a sailor, I imagine that she doesn't have a lot of private space to accumulate 'stuff'.

Those were my thoughts as well. A sailor is always on the move, so whatever doesn't fit into a duffel bag (or the fantasy equivalent) gets left behind. Her brother was several years younger (four or five) and wanted to be a scholar, not a sailor -- and when he left home he took literally everything he owned with him.

I don't know if I'm being insecure, or I'm just shying away from being even more brutal to my MC. After looking at some of these posts I imagined that he wanted to buy her a gift, but she refused (she was the big sister and wanted to be the hero) so she asked him to read to her instead. Her life went to hell and that's all she has left -- her memory of him reading to her. I hate being so merciless, but there it is.

Thanks everyone for your suggestions. It's so good to be back at AW.

batmantis24 · Apr 23, 2014

What if he had written her a letter once before he set sail? Perhaps something she keeps it in her pocket or maybe even in her boot? It doesn't have to be too wordy, maybe even something very simple. I think those it's something that she can treasure, and more so that he has since passed.

My brother wrote me a small letter before I left for college that I keep in my wallet. We're very close and it's the only thing I have from him.

Bing Z · Apr 23, 2014

A seashell she uses as a pendant, which he found and gave it to her when they were little?

Reziac · Apr 23, 2014

Atalanta said:
Her life went to hell and that's all she has left -- her memory of him reading to her. I hate being so merciless, but there it is.

To my reading mind, this feels more satisfying (and more real) than any physical memento.

GingerGunlock · Apr 24, 2014

Atalanta said:
Those were my thoughts as well. A sailor is always on the move, so whatever doesn't fit into a duffel bag (or the fantasy equivalent) gets left behind. Her brother was several years younger (four or five) and wanted to be a scholar, not a sailor -- and when he left home he took literally everything he owned with him.

I don't know if I'm being insecure, or I'm just shying away from being even more brutal to my MC. After looking at some of these posts I imagined that he wanted to buy her a gift, but she refused (she was the big sister and wanted to be the hero) so she asked him to read to her instead. Her life went to hell and that's all she has left -- her memory of him reading to her. I hate being so merciless, but there it is.

Thanks everyone for your suggestions. It's so good to be back at AW.

Bold mine.

I feel like this is a great decision! There is power in such an idea.

Dmbeucler · Apr 24, 2014

Depending on the period you are setting this in, a lock of hair was a common gift/memorial piece. If you search for mourning jewelry or hair jewelry there should be some good ideas.

Atalanta · Apr 24, 2014

Reziac said:
To my reading mind, this feels more satisfying (and more real) than any physical memento.

GingerGunlock said:
I feel like this is a great decision! There is power in such an idea.

I guess I'm not the only one who's merciless.

I have a thing for tragedy, so maybe that's why it appeals to me. My heroes always "win" in the end, but if the story doesn't make me cry, even just a little, I feel cheated.

Thanks again, everyone.

Maxx · Apr 25, 2014

Atalanta said:
This is a fantasy world.

My MC is a sailor in her early twenties; her younger brother died a couple of years ago when the ship he was on sank. He was relocating and so had brought everything he owned with him -- nothing survived the wreck.
feels soooo good to be back.

A letter?

Levico · Apr 25, 2014

She could always happen upon one of his old friends who has some item of his. "Gave me this a while ago, but feel like you should have it" kind of thing.
~Lev

Atalanta · Apr 25, 2014

Maxx said:
A letter?

She's illiterate, unfortunately. The scene I mentioned above, with the book, is kind of weird because it's in her hands and she knows the story by heart, but she can't read a word of it.

I just read over the scene today (I'll be getting to it in the rewrite in another 2-3 days) and I think I'm going to stick with what I have. I'm just going to point out more frankly that she has nothing of his, that everything he owned went down with him when his ship sank.

Nivarion · Apr 26, 2014

Atalanta said:
I guess I'm not the only one who's merciless.

Life rarely is merciful. The scene is great in that it is relatable and emotional. Sounds good.

Jacob_Wallace · May 1, 2014

You could have the momento be something intangible like a memory. Or have the lack of momento be even more heartbreaking. Nothing to keep his memory alive. Or you could utilize both. Have her lament her lack of momento and slowly realize she doesn't need things to remember.

Or if you're deadset on a momento, you could have it be a "junk" item. People sometimes do that when a loved one dies. They pick something, anything to cling to. Would've been junk if they'd lived, but now it has serious sentimental value. Can be anything from old clothes to soap.

Does my MC need a memento?

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